The Illusion I Loved Is Gone

I'd loved my childhood friend, Colleen Decker, for ten years, until a car accident changed everything. She loses the ability to walk and never stands again. Her fiance, Ronald Coleman, and other self-proclaimed admirers disappear overnight. Even the Decker family turns their backs on her, cutting her off as the heiress. I'm the only one who stays by her side. I drop out of school and spend two years caring for her, doing everything I can to find the best specialists in the country. However, the moment she gets back on her feet—during the proposal I'd prepared—she announces in front of everyone that she's continuing her engagement to Ronald. When I confront her, Colleen grabs my hand, her voice soft and earnest. "Lucius, I'm not doing this because I want to. I'm marrying him to get back at him for walking away from me back then. You have to believe me. I only love you." But during a game of Truth or Dare, Ronald draws the King card. He points at me and says, "Lucius, choose any girl here and kiss her for one minute." I look to Colleen for help, but she turns her head away. "Don't look at me. I belong to Ronald now." Chapter 1 I stood there awkwardly, frozen in place. A few girls nearby gave me teasing looks. One of them even said with a laugh, "Lucius Pearson, I don't mind helping you out. You're handsome, so I wouldn't be losing anything." Ronald Coleman wrapped his arm around Colleen Decker's shoulder. "Lucius, don't be a sore loser. If you really can't do it, just drink and take the penalty." Colleen leaned into Ronald's embrace, her gaze sweeping over me coldly. No one in this world knew Colleen better than I did, and although it was just a glance, I knew what she meant. I picked up the glass of hard liquor from the table and downed it in one gulp. "Lucius, are you crazy? Did you forget that you're severely allergic to alcohol?" Everyone here was from the same social circle and knew about my condition. A burning pain shot from my throat down to my stomach. "Coco, can you drive me home to get my medication?" Since Colleen didn't want to kiss me in front of Ronald, yet didn't want me getting close to other girls either, I thought leaving together would be acceptable. Besides, she was the only one at the party who couldn't drink because she was still taking herbal medicine, so it made perfect sense for her to drive me. But Ronald squeezed Colleen's hand with what seemed like playful pleading and whined, "Coco, I'm not done having fun yet." I didn't know who started it, but someone suddenly shouted, "A real couple would be even better to watch! Why not have Colleen and Ronald give us a full-on make-out session for a minute?" Everyone at the party began cheering them on. No one was paying attention to me anymore. My face had already flushed an unnatural red, and my throat was starting to itch. Two bodies intertwined as the crowd began counting down. "59, 58, 57, 56..." Colleen kissed him passionately, completely lost in the moment. From my angle, I could see her closed eyes and trembling lashes. Her earlobes were slightly flushed, a telltale sign of her arousal. They might have been able to kiss until the end of time, but I couldn't hold on any longer. I pushed open the mansion doors, and just as I was about to step out, I turned back to see Colleen pulling away from Ronald's lips. Even as they pulled apart, the closeness between them clung in the air. Perhaps it was the allergic reaction, but my chest felt tight, and I couldn't catch my breath. Once I stepped outside, and the wind hit me, my skin began to itch all over. However, I didn't dare scratch myself and pulled out my phone to call for an Uber. Unfortunately, Roseland Manor was too remote, and no drivers accepted my ride request. After waiting about ten minutes, a driver finally agreed to come, but less than a minute later, he canceled the order. That moment broke me, and I wondered why I'd been given hope only for it to be yanked away. The Uber driver did so, and so did Colleen. My eyes welled up as I crouched down, hugging my shoulders. I figured I must have looked absolutely ridiculous in that moment, crying while scratching all over like a pathetic fool. Suddenly, headlights shone toward me, the high beams so bright that I couldn't keep my eyes open. When I could finally see clearly, the car had pulled up beside me. A woman stepped out of the driver's seat, wearing casual athletic clothes. Only when she stood beside me could I clearly make out her features. "Lucius, how did you end up looking like such a mess?" My voice came out hoarse. "Yvonne, my throat is swelling up. If you don't get me home to my medication soon, I'm going to die." Chapter 2 Yvonne Decker drove like a maniac, and I gripped the door handle nervously. "Yvonne, slow down. I'm not going to die in the next few seconds." Yvonne was Colleen's aunt, her father's younger sister. "Don't worry. I'm not like that useless niece of mine, Colleen." For some reason, her voice carried contempt and anger. "You're having such a severe allergic reaction, yet what was she doing? Why didn't she take you to the hospital?" A wave of bitterness washed over me. "She doesn't have an obligation to take care of me all the time." "But you had an obligation to serve her when her legs were broken?" I hung my head in silence. Colleen and I had grown up together. But in high school, Dad's investments failed. Mom then divorced him and married his business rival. Unable to handle the blow, Dad entrusted me to his best friend and jumped off a building. That best friend was Colleen's father, Kendrick Decker. So, before high school, I was Colleen's childhood sweetheart. After high school, I became an orphan living in her house. After Colleen's car accident, her bones healed, but she still couldn't stand up. Kendrick took her to see specialists both domestically and abroad. The diagnosis was always permanent nerve damage with no hope of ever walking again. Kendrick seemed to have aged ten years overnight, and Colleen went from being a gifted golden girl to an angry disabled person. She lashed out at everyone, even Kendrick. Eventually, Kendrick gave up and handed Decker Corporation over to his sister, Yvonne, pulling her back from her round-the-world trip. Colleen found out she was being cast aside and spiraled deeper into rage. I was the only one who stuck by her and held her tight, no matter how many times she screamed at me, hit me, or cursed me. "Even if the whole world abandons you, I'll stay by your side." I gave up my degree from one of the country's top universities and moved with her to the perpetually spring-like Southbay. After caring for her for two years, she finally recovered. She took my hand and stood before Kendrick and Yvonne, declaring, "I was able to recover because of Lucius. I want to be with him forever." Kendrick wept, unable to hold back his tears. Yvonne simply said, "Remember what you just said." Colleen re-entered Decker Corporation and once again became the heiress everyone admired. The people who once shunned her now flocked to her again like moths to a flame. Even Ronald—once her closest companion and fiance—had walked away when she became disabled and left the company. Now, he came crawling back. All it took was one question. "Coco, didn't you promise to love me forever?" Colleen let go of my hand and carefully took Ronald's in hers right in front of me. "I never intended to break my word." Ronald gripped her hand in return, their fingers entwined as he cast a smug, taunting look in my direction. When we returned home and were alone, Colleen threw herself into my arms again. "Lucius, I can't let it go! I'm only doing this for revenge. I only love you." In her beautiful eyes, there was a depth of affection that could drown me whole. I had loved her for ten years and grown used to being by her side, respecting her wishes, even when I felt wronged. Yvonne didn't take me home, but brought me straight to the hospital. The doctor immediately started an IV to treat my allergic reaction. "You're severely allergic to alcohol, yet you still thought it was a good idea to down hard liquor? Do you have a death wish? A minute later, and we'd be putting you in a drawer. Do you think the morgue has empty slots just waiting for you?" Yvonne stood beside the bed, arms crossed, watching my face that had puffed up like a balloon while the doctor scolded me. Her expression said it all. She thought I deserved this. "As his family, why don't you keep an eye on him? What are you standing there for? Get his medication from the pharmacy!" The night-shift doctor dealing with emergency patients certainly had a fierce temper. Watching the usually untouchable Yvonne getting barked at like a scolded kid made the knot in my chest loosen a little. When I woke up the next morning, Colleen was sitting beside my bed, her face full of guilt. "Lucius, you're awake! Last night, I went looking for you, but you were already gone. Why didn't you tell me that you ended up in the hospital? Do you have any idea how worried I was?" Chapter 3 Colleen leaned in close and caressed my cheek. "Thank goodness you're okay. Don't throw tantrums like that again, alright?" But as I looked at the fresh hickey on her neck and listened to the scolding tone in her voice, I couldn't recognize her anymore. What exactly had I done wrong? Did my mistake lie in not enduring an allergic suffocation while watching them make out? "What am I to you?" I asked, my voice hoarse. Colleen seemed not to have heard me clearly. "What?" Her gaze darted away nervously. "Are you thirsty?" She turned away from me to get some water, her tall figure moving gracefully. Her legs had completely healed, but why did I find myself missing the days when she was in a wheelchair? Before Colleen could hand me the water, the hospital room door burst open. Then, Ronald walked in with obvious excitement, "Lucius, did you end up in the hospital because of that allergy? Let me see what alcohol poisoining looks like." He stared at my face and laughed wildly. "Our famous heartthrob looks absolutely hilarious. Your face is so swollen that your eyes are just slits." He pulled out his phone and started snapping pictures of me. "I'm going to post these on social media. I bet tons of people will like them." I looked like this because of him, and now he was here to humiliate me further. In an instant, rage surged to the top of my head, and I grabbed the water cup from Colleen's hand and hurled it at Ronald. The lid wasn't screwed on tight, so when the cup hit Ronald, water splashed all over his skin. He jumped up with a shriek. "Ouch! That burns!" Colleen rushed over to him and pulled him into the bathroom, turning on the faucet. I could hear Ronald complaining from the bathroom. "Lucius tried to disfigure me with boiling water. He's so vicious! Coco, I was just messing with him. How could he do this to me? Is he jealous that we're in love?" "He's just an orphan my family raised. What right does he have to love me?" Colleen's voice was low, but the sound of running water still couldn't drown out her words. Ten minutes later, Colleen stormed out angrily, dragging Ronald behind her. "Apologize." Her face was dark, her voice ice-cold. Yet, all I could think about was what she had just said. What right did I have to love her? Suddenly, I felt utterly pathetic. Ever since I lost my family, I had also lost the right to love her. So, what did all these years of unwavering companionship amount to? I now understood. It was just the rent I owed her family for living in her house. My education, my ten years of love, and two years of devoted care were certainly a high price to pay for rent. "Did you hear what I said?" She raised her hand and accidentally swatted at my IV tube. Pain shot through the back of my hand as the IV needle was jostled. "Apologize! Are you deaf?" She gripped my hand forcefully, exactly where the needle had shifted. It hurt so much that I sucked in a sharp breath. "Stop pretending. Does it hurt more than being scalded with boiling water?" Ronald complained. Colleen squeezed even harder, and I felt like the needle in my vein might puncture through my blood vessel. Pain made sweat break out on my forehead, but the ache in my heart was even worse than the physical pain. I endured it and looked up at Colleen. Then, I asked through clenched teeth, "Did I help you stand again just so you could crush me like this?" Her expression turned extremely ugly, and she released my hand. "I knew it! You only took care of me to make me feel indebted to you, to stand on some moral high ground and make me look up to you." She glanced at me then, and there was no trace of the dependence she once had in her gaze, only contempt. "Just like you're doing now." In that instant, I was in so much pain that I was laughing and crying at the same time. I could not believe Collen would think that I was that despicable. Looking at her twisted face, I realized it wasn't that I was despicable. It was that my love was too pathetic. Fine, then. I'd just stop loving her. This farce ended when a nurse walked in and exclaimed, "What happened to the hand with the IV? Your veins are so hard to find! Didn't I tell you to take good care of the IV needle?" Colleen's gaze also fell on my swollen, bruised hand. "It's fine. Just put the IV in my other hand. I'm used to getting stuck with needles anyway." It was just a casual comment, but it somehow enraged Colleen again. Chapter 4 Colleen snapped, "Lucius, is this your way of reminding me just how much you've done for me?" So, she remembered everything I'd done for her. Back when everyone else gave up on her legs, I didn't. I had finally found an experienced practitioner in Southbay—an elderly man named Vincent McClain. Vincent started her on acupuncture the very next day, and within a month, she regained feeling in her legs. However, just as hope returned, Vincent's son came to take him overseas for retirement. No matter how much money we offered, his children didn't want their father to strain himself treating patients during his golden years. I knelt before Vincent and his son, begging desperately, until Vincent finally agreed to teach me his acupuncture techniques so I could continue treating Colleen myself. I practiced relentlessly on acupuncture training models. Since I still wasn't confident, I started practicing on my own body. When Colleen saw my legs covered in needle marks, her eyes turned red. She had said, "Lucius, I swear I'll never let you hurt yourself again." That was only six months ago. Yet, after she stood up and became the golden girl again, standing at the center of everyone's attention, she forgot her promise. Those actions that once moved her to tears had now become calculated favors I had done just to make her feel indebted to me. "Don't you need to take Ronald to see a dermatologist?" I wanted her to disappear from my sight and didn't care if she thought I was provoking her. During those ten years of affectionate devotion, I had tried my best, gained something, and lost it all in the end. I lay in the hospital bed, closed my eyes, and let the tears flow down my cheeks, soaking the pillow. With that, I also decided to move out of the Decker residence. During my three days in the hospital, Colleen never came back. Surprisingly, Yvonne visited every day to check on me. She really was a good aunt. Only, it was too bad she wasn't my aunt. While in the hospital, I browsed apartment listings on my phone and temporarily rented myself a small place. When I returned home after my discharge, I started packing my things. My phone rang just as I was throwing my set of acupuncture silver needles into the trash. "Lucius, I'm at Dynasty Club. Bring me the paper bag from my bedside table," Colleen instructed. I was about to say I was busy, but then I thought I should say goodbye to Colleen face to face. Without much thought, I put on my jacket, grabbed the bag from her bedside table, and got in a cab. When I opened the private room door, the air was thick with smoke, and everyone inside burst into laughter when they saw me. "Ronald was right! Lucius really has no shame when it comes to being a lapdog. He's even willing to bring Colleen some protection, even in the middle of the night." Colleen sat lazily on the leather couch while Ronald wore a mocking smile. "Lucius, thanks for making the trip. Coco only likes this particular brand of protection, and you can't buy them just anywhere." Everyone's eyes focused on me with looks of pity, mockery, and contempt. I truly didn't understand how Colleen had become like this. She had clearly said she was only with Ronald to get revenge for his abandonment. But in the end, why was I the one getting hurt? Me, who had never once left her side? I stood in the noisy room, and suddenly, all other sounds were muted except for Ronald's and Colleen's whispers reaching my ears. "Coco, doesn't Lucius look like a clown?" I stared at them and walked over step by step. "Colleen, I hope you two have fun going at it eight times tonight." I threw the bag at her. "I'm moving out of the Decker residence, so don't ask me to deliver these anymore." With that, I turned and headed for the private room door. I had barely stepped out when Colleen grabbed my arm. "I was just asking you to deliver something. Why are you throwing a tantrum?" I didn't want to say another word to her and tried to pull my arm free, but she was gripping too tightly. Just as I was about to slap her with my other hand, a female voice spoke from behind me. "Lucius, come here."