Loving and Letting Go Without Regret

I was with Ivan Knowles for seven years. Despite the rumors that always swirled around him, he never gave me a reason to doubt his loyalty. He let me check his phone and even welcomed me to join him on business trips. I never found anything suspicious until our engagement day. The host had just shared how Ivan flew in my favorite white roses from abroad when the big screen, meant to play a video celebrating our seven years together, instead showed a hospital room. The cry of a newborn rang out. Ivan sat on the bed holding the baby. His secretary, Alba Lawson, leaned on his shoulder, wearing the same diamond ring as mine. Tearfully, she explained to me that it was a misunderstanding. "Alba is a single mom," Ivan excused. "I'm just helping her out as her boss. Don't make a big deal out of this." The room went quiet, everyone waiting for me to flip out. I didn't. Instead, I calmly slipped off my ring and handed it to him. "Of course not. I just wish you happiness." Chapter 1 ... The silence in the hall was deafening. The marketing managers, who had never approved of my relationship with Ivan Knowles, snickered behind their hands. Their judgmental looks cut deep, but I held my head high, glancing at Ivan. His face was sullen, but he didn't bother to call them out. With a bitter smile, I grabbed the microphone and addressed the crowd. "That's all for today's party. Please enjoy the food and drinks. You can get your gifts back from Mr. Knowles and Ms. Lawson as you leave. And if they'd like to announce their engagement, I'd be happy to witness it." I set the microphone down and turned to leave. Ivan grabbed my wrist. "What are you doing? It's our big day. Don't cause a scene and embarrass both of us." "Cause a scene?" I pulled my arm free and gave him a cold stare. "Care to explain the ring on Alba's finger and the bracelet on her daughter's wrist?" Ivan cringed, looking away. "No? I'll answer for you," I smirked. "You said the ring was customized for me, claiming it was one of a kind. And that bracelet was for my last birthday, matching yours. You said it was the only pair in the world." As I reached for the bracelet on his wrist, he pulled back and snapped, "So what? It's a small matter, and you're blowing this out of proportion. I just felt bad for Alba and gave her those things. You're jealous over nothing." I stared at him, stunned by how easily he twisted the truth. "In that case, I guess we're done." His brows furrowed. "Enough! Don't push your luck here." The tension in the hall thickened. I started to walk off the stage, but Alba Lawson blocked my path, her bitter orange perfume making my stomach churn. She stood at the edge, clutching her shirt nervously. "Ms. Marin, I know you're upset, but that video was a misunderstanding. You don't have to humiliate me like this." She wiped her tears and glanced at the audience. "The guests here today are all our business partners. You can't just speak recklessly and embarrass Mr. Knowles like this." She started sobbing. Ivan stepped forward and patted her shoulder. Turning to me, he sulked, "If you had half of Alba's understanding, I wouldn't have to deal with this. Go backstage and cool off. Alba and I will clean up your mess." I stared at him, my jaw set tight. He softened. "Come on. Just listen to me." Without waiting for my response, he took Alba's hand and led her off the stage. Chapter 2 As Alba passed me, she whispered, "You lost." I grabbed her arm. "Say that again." She gave me an innocent look, and Ivan barked, "Enough!" A sharp pain stabbed my abdomen, as if my baby was protesting, too, but I knew I couldn't break their bond. In the end, I fled the hotel, humiliated. My best friend, who arrived late, rushed to my side, steadying me as I stumbled. From my dazed expression, Savannah Hart could tell the engagement had crashed and burned. "I knew you'd get hurt," she sighed. "I should have done anything to break you two up. That jerk doesn't deserve you." "Yeah, he doesn't," I murmured. ... Savannah drove me home. She wanted to keep me company, but I needed to be alone. After she left, I sank into my bed. The faint scent of Ivan's cologne lingered in the air, bringing tears to my eyes. I recalled our seven years together. He used to love me wholeheartedly. After my parents passed away, enemies came after me. Ivan stepped in, fighting them off alone and collapsing only after the police arrived and made sure I was safe. At the hospital, I learned he'd been stabbed in the stomach. An inch deeper, and he would have died. His love for me back then was undeniable. His actions were worth more than any words. But now, that love had soured. My phone buzzed, interrupting my thoughts. It was a message from Alba. [I heard you love bitter orange perfume, so I wore it today at the party. It was a gift from Mr. Knowles. I don't usually use it, but I thought you'd like it.] I threw my phone aside, trembling with anger. For our last anniversary, I wanted bitter orange perfume. Ivan brushed me off. "It's too sweet for you. I'll get you sandalwood instead. It will help you relax." I waited, but the perfume never came. ... I kept crying until I almost drifted off to sleep. Ivan finally came back. He slipped into bed beside me, wiping tears from my lashes. "I'm sorry, honey," he cooed. "What happened today was my fault. I should've been more careful. After our baby is born, I'll throw you a big wedding to make up for it." I pushed against his chest and moved away from him. My resistance unnerved him. He pleaded, "Don't be mad at me, alright? I visited Alba in the hospital only because I felt sorry for her as a single mom." He pulled out a red velvet box and added, "You didn't like the engagement ring, so I got this one for you. It's unique, designed by a master. Happy?" I glanced at the ring and smiled bitterly. 'Unique?' I'd seen Alba wearing the same one in a selfie she posted. Ivan had even liked it. He just didn't remember. I looked up at him. For a moment, I started to wonder if he had ever truly loved me. "I'm serious," I said. "We're done. I'll move out soon to make room for Alba and her daughter." "Enough!" He threw the box down, the ring rolling under the bed. "I've apologized. What else do you want? This is a small thing, and you're holding it against me." With a bitter laugh, I got out of bed. When I didn't back down like I usually did, his anger flared. He threw a pillow across the room, knocking everything off the nightstand. Glass shattered, and then Alba's voice came through his phone. "Mr. Knowles, it's pouring outside. Nettie won't stop crying. Can you come help me?" I paused, turning to look at him. Chapter 3 Ivan rubbed his temples and softened his tone. "Alba had a fever today while helping me clean up the mess. She has got Nettie to care for. I'll check on her and be back to talk." He left in a rush, not noticing the blood dripping from my hand, cut by the broken glass. Thunder rumbled outside, and, as expected, Alba's message arrived. I knew it would hurt, but I opened it anyway. [How does it feel to wear my leftover ring? You always get my hand-me-downs. Here's a secret, since I'm in a good mood. Remember your appendicitis surgery before you got pregnant? Ivan wasn't there because he was with me. That client wasn't as important as he told you. I was.] She then sent over a voice message. In it, Ivan was humming a lullaby. [He sang this to my daughter that night he stood you up. Isn't it beautiful?] My heart broke at the revelation. I scheduled an abortion for the following Monday, packed my things, and left the house. ... The next evening, Ivan called. He didn't ask where I was or if I was okay. He just said, "Moving out to calm down is probably good. When you're ready, I'll come take you home." I snorted and hung up. My friends, knowing I was pregnant, suggested I visit an early education center to reserve a spot. I didn't tell them about the abortion, but I went to pass the time. As soon as I stepped inside, I saw Ivan in a class with Alba and her daughter. The two looked cozy and interacted like a married couple. I froze, recalling Ivan's habit of leaving weekly meetings early every Wednesday. Looking back, he started it since Alba gave birth. Things started to fall into place, and a suspicion formed in my mind. While a staff member poured me water, I glanced at her schedule book. It showed Ivan had signed up for the most expensive package for Nettie Lawson and attended classes with them every Wednesday. All my strength seemed to drain in an instant. The staff member, unaware of my reaction, pushed their maternity center. All smiles, she pointed to Ivan in the classroom. "That's Mr. Knowles. He signed up for both our maternity and early education programs for his wife and their child. They're our VIP clients, and Mrs. Knowles loves our services. You can talk to her after class if you'd like." She paused and added, "We offer special privileges for our VIPs. If the parents decide to purchase a growth fund for their baby later, we'll gift them a set of gold couple mugs as a souvenir." Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I was stunned. 'If Alba is Mrs. Knowles, then who am I? A mistress who doesn't even rate?' For seven years, Ivan had barely given me any gifts, but for Alba, he'd gone all out, even taking care of things like the maternity center. I suddenly remembered that I had once seen the same gold mugs on their desks. "It's just a company anniversary gift. Don't be so paranoid," Ivan had said. I still remembered how the marketing manager couldn't stifle a laugh and got punished by Ivan with a one-month bonus deduction. I left the early education center and wandered to the maternity center. Just then, my phone rang with a call from Ivan. "Where are you?" he asked. "I'm picking you up for lunch. A friend gave me barbecue coupons. You've been craving it, right?" His tone was cheerful, indicating his good mood from having the class with Alba and Nettie. I was about to respond when a TV on the wall caught my eye. Chapter 4 A saleswoman walked over with a smile. "This is our promotional video, showing our members' daily lives and class snippets." My grip tightened on the phone as I watched Ivan in the video, braiding Alba's hair during a post-pregnancy recovery class. "Isn't it sweet?" the saleswoman said. "He's an entrepreneur but always makes time for his wife, no matter how busy." I hung up, rubbing the mark on my ring finger. My tears started to fall uncontrollably. The saleswoman looked flustered. "Are you okay, ma'am?" "Yeah," I said, forcing a smile, and left. As I passed a corner, Ivan's car passed by. Through the window, I saw him hand a piece of durian-flavored candy to Alba. I recognized the wrapper. It was my favorite. I pressed my hand against my chest and wandered down the street, but I couldn't shake the memory of how Ivan had grimaced when I ate that candy. "This stuff tastes awful," he had said. Because of that, I'd stopped eating them. But now, he doted on Alba with them. ... Days passed without contact from Ivan, likely because I'd hung up on him twice. I used the time to clear out everything tied to him. On Monday, I went to the hospital for the abortion. Just before I could enter the operating room, Alba texted, [Mr. Knowles asked me to order rose-flavored cookies from you for Nettie's 100-day celebration tomorrow. He wants it to be grand.] Those cookies were my creation, perfected over sleepless nights for our engagement, but Ivan had dismissed them as childish. He had denied all my efforts without even tasting them, and I had been upset for days because of it. But instead of comforting me, he had accused me of overreacting. Yes, I had overreacted, but not anymore. I sent Alba the recipe, deleted her contact, and walked into the operating room. As the anesthesia took hold, my tears fell. The baby I had been hoping for all these years was leaving me. I whispered, "I'm sorry, baby. I couldn't protect you. I hope you find a happy family in your next life." After the surgery, weak and exhausted, I ran into Ivan and Alba at the pharmacy. He stormed over and shoved me. "What's your problem, Betsy? How dare you hang up on me? Did you get the ingredients for the cookies? Are you slacking off here? Planning to fake a medical report to get out of it?" I stumbled and fell to the ground. Pain shot through my abdomen, and sweat beaded on my forehead. "Drop the act!" he sneered. "You're as strong as a horse." Alba, holding her medicine, walked up and linked her arm with his. She cooed, "Mr. Knowles, take it easy. It's fine if Betsy doesn't want to help." I wanted to argue, but the pain was too much. Ivan clicked his tongue, about to taunt me further, when a nurse passing by screamed, "Someone's bleeding heavily!" Ivan's expression shifted. He cried out in a panic, "Betsy!"