Waiting for a Heart Long Dead

Everyone in the city knows Nathan Cooper only agreed to marry me because he had no choice. No matter how many times I tried to seduce him over the past seven years, he would just run his fingers over his rosary beads. Never once had he shown a trace of desire in his eyes. It isn't until that night, when I see him answer a long-distance call from his first love. Upon hearing her voice, Nathan loses control. It's as if heat was surging through his body like a live wire. The next day, Lily Hunt flies back. Nathan shoves me out of the car and drives off to pick her up. As I fall from the bridge and lose my memory, news of Nathan's proposal to his beloved sets the whole city ablaze. The next day, he shows up late to the hospital. As Nathan stands by my bedside, he says he will marry me, but only if he can hold a wedding ceremony with Lily. Then, he announces the wedding date. I lean against his bitter enemy, Luke Patton, and look at Nathan in confusion. "Sorry, who are you?" Chapter 1 Nathan Cooper coldly snorted at my question. "What trick are you pulling now, Willow Turner?" He grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of Luke Patton's arms. I instantly jerked my arm back from his touch. "Who are you? Don't touch me!" Nathan's eyes turned even colder when he heard that. "You don't know me? You followed me around for seven years," he said. "Willow, I already agreed to marry you. I'm just giving Lily a wedding at the same time too. "Do you really have to pretend you don't know me?" In my confusion, I looked at Luke, the man beside me who claimed to be my boyfriend. I saw nothing but mockery in his gaze as he stared at Nathan. He said, "Mr. Cooper, even jokes have their limits. Willow's your sister. How could the two of you possibly get married?" Nathan's eyes narrowed, and his grip on the rosary beads tightened. "You even brought him into this? Too bad I'm not falling for your little game." He then added, "My sister? Fine. You can attend the wedding as that." In the middle of the argument, Lily Hunt barged into the hospital room to ease the tension. "Your brother's just angry and didn't mean it. I'll have a word with him when we get home," she said. "Our wedding is in three days, Willow. You have to come." When I heard that, I was even more certain that Luke hadn't lied about my relationship with Nathan. "Sorry, I forgot. So you're my brother…" Nathan frowned, as if he didn't like how that sounded. Lily quickly stepped in to calm him down and planted a quick kiss on his lips. Upon seeing how affectionate they were, Luke turned to watch my reaction. I understood what was going on and didn't want to cause more trouble. "Don't worry. I won't cause any trouble at your wedding," I said. Nathan froze for a moment and took a deep breath. "Pack your things now! You're coming home with me," he snarled. There was no room for argument in his tone. Before I could respond, Lily suddenly collapsed into his arms. She blamed her dizziness on the jet lag. Nathan quickly scooped her up with an anxious look on his face. Before he left, he told me to stop pretending to be sick and to walk home as punishment. Then, the hospital room fell quiet again. At that moment, I started to wonder why he was the only person I had forgotten. Chapter 2 Luke stepped out to take a call and told me to wait for him. While I was deep in thought, my best friend, Sabrina Bell, burst into the room with red-rimmed eyes. She said it was for the best that I had forgotten that bastard, Nathan. "The doctor said your brain chose to protect itself, so it blocked out the most painful memories." My chat history held every bitter memory from the past seven years. Years ago, my mother, Jessica Kane, died in a fire trying to save Nathan. After that, I ended up being raised in his home as his adopted sister. He cared for me in every way possible, and I mistook it for love. Later on, I threw away my pride and kept trying to seduce him. Yet, all he would do was help me get dressed without a flicker of emotion and promise to marry me. It wasn't until I saw him confessing his buried desires over the phone to Lily. "Marrying Willow is just to repay a debt. That way, I won't owe her anything anymore." That was when I realized how foolish I was. That night, during our heart-to-heart, I told Sabrina that if I could forget him, I would do anything. I cried throughout the night. In the morning, Nathan saw how pale I looked and carried me to the car before rushing me to the hospital. However, halfway there, he heard that Lily had returned to the country and pushed me out of the car. Right then, a speeding car hit me, and I stumbled off the bridge that crossed the sea. After that—just as I wished—I really forgot everything about Nathan. I felt nothing but relief after hearing about the past. "Sab, I'll take your place and marry Luke," I said. When Nathan and I announced our engagement, Sabrina was told to go into an arranged marriage too, even though she already had a boyfriend. Sabrina frowned at my proposal. "Are you crazy? Luke is Nathan's biggest rival," she said. "He's been having an affair with an actress for years. I can't let you escape one mess just to fall into another." I held up the surgery form and gave it a shake. Luke's signature was right on it. "If he weren't Nathan's rival, I wouldn't even consider it," I said. "At least he saved my life and helped me out of an embarrassing situation. "Besides, it doesn't matter who I marry now. Not to mention, can Hector even say no to the Pattons?" Back when everyone was tearing me apart, it was Hector Bell who'd declared me as his goddaughter. That worked in shutting everyone up. Now that the Bells were in trouble, it made sense for me—his goddaughter and Sabrina's best friend—to step in and marry Luke in her place. In return, Sabrina prepared a grand wedding gift for me. However, she was saving it for Nathan on the day of the wedding. After sending Sabrina off, I went back to the villa alone to pack my things. I vaguely remembered that the code to the door was my birthday date, but now, it wouldn't open no matter what I did. I texted Nathan and asked, "I need to pack. Can you tell me the code?" Just like always, there was no reply to my message. It wasn't until my whole body had gone numb from the cold that the door lock finally clicked open. The passcode was Nathan and Lily's wedding date. A woman's soft, flirty voice spilled through the gap in the door. "Nate, feel this rosary. Isn't it smooth from all the work I've done on it?" Chapter 3 On the couch, the usually cold and distant Nathan had the damp rosary beads in his grip. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. "Lily…" In past messages with Sabrina, I had complained that he wouldn't even let me touch his rosary beads. But now, he let Lily defile them however she wanted. Lily turned her head, her cheeks flushed as she huffed, "You're the worst." She then added, "Nathan, I don't want to wait anymore, okay?" Nathan's breathing grew ragged. He chuckled deeply, and there was a burning desire in his gaze I had never seen before. I stood at the door, a sudden chill running through me. "Willow, how could you be into something like this?" Lily suddenly screamed and buried her face in Nathan's chest. Nathan quickly pulled the clothes under himself to cover Lily. Then, he stood and yelled at me, "Who let you in?" So, changing the passcode was to keep me out. Whenever Nathan shut me out in the past, all I'd do was beg for his love. However, now that I no longer remembered how I felt about him, there was only indifference in my tone. "I'm sorry. I should have knocked before coming into your house." Nathan sensed something was wrong and frowned. "You were out there getting tangled up with another man, and now you're saying this isn't your home after just one morning?" He growled. He added, "Willow, if you have so little self-respect, then maybe it's time someone taught you a proper lesson!" As he spoke, a housekeeper came out of the room carrying a box of revealing lingerie I had once bought because of him. They were promptly thrown across the floor. "Burn these shameful things yourself!" Nathan yelled. Just like that, my little secret was put on full display. Lily lifted one piece of lingerie with a finger, her expression full of disgust. "You sure are wild, Willow. Did you try something out at the hospital with Luke too?" But I had no memory of the lingerie. Embarrassed, I denied it right away. "Please don't make things up, Lily. Those aren't mine." Nathan grew angrier and snarled, "You're still lying?" He had the household staff force me to my knees to face my mother's photo. He then ordered me to stay there until I admitted my mistakes and apologized for them—no matter how long it took. I struggled to get up, but Nathan shoved me down and slammed my face to the floor. "Nathan! We're not even related. What gives you the right to treat me like this?" I yelled. Upon hearing that, Nathan snapped and lost all his usual calm. "Because I promised Jessica I would keep you in line!" Then, he grabbed the back of my neck and slammed my head into the floor again and again. The thuds echoed for what felt like forever. When he finally let go, he picked Lily up and carried her upstairs. Meanwhile, I'd hit the floor, shaking all over. The bandage on my forehead slipped off, and blood quickly soaked into the carpet. In an instant, pieces of memory came rushing back. At my mother's funeral that year, Nathan saw how lost I looked and pulled me into his arms. He said he would take care of me for the rest of my life, and I believed him. I just didn't realize he only meant he would be like a brother to me. The care he once showed had now turned into anger. In a daze, that feeling of heartbreak tore through me again. Chapter 4 I took off the engagement ring and tossed it onto the pile of clothing. "Nathan, I shouldn't have clung to you," I muttered. "I won't cross that line again." Ever since I started falling for him, I stopped calling him my brother. Using "Nate" instead of "Nathan" made me feel like we were already something more. I told myself that if I never said what we were, nothing would stand in our way. But it turned out he just never loved me like that. When he overheard me, Nathan stopped on the stairs. The blood on the carpet was hard to miss. His eyes widened at the sight of it, and he rushed over to me. As he kneeled on the floor, he pulled me into his arms. He looked just as frantic as he had that day at the funeral parlor. "Willow!" he gasped. "Willow, you sure know how to play the long game." Lily sneered. Her mockery seemed to snap Nathan out of it. He promptly let go and threw me to the floor. Lily then picked up the ring and slid it onto her finger. After that, she grabbed a costume from the pile and said she wanted to try it on, just to see if Nathan thought it looked good. I closed my eyes as a sharp, stinging pain spread all over my body. Nathan used to know I was terrified of pain. Whenever I was sick, he would never leave my side. There was even once when I had a fever at school while he was away on a work trip. In the infirmary, I had bitten someone's hand and cried my eyes out. When Nathan heard of this, he drove three hours through the night to get to me. "Willow, I'm here," he'd said. Back then, I knew he would come for me, and he knew I would wait too. Now, blood was dripping onto my lashes and slipping off. The air felt frozen too. Suddenly, a piece of candy landed on me. It was my favorite handmade kind. In the past, Nathan used to buy them just to cheer me up. I never imagined he would still carry a few pieces in his pocket now. My fingers tightened around the candy. For some reason, my eyes began to sting with tears too. At that moment, Lily spat on the ground. The candy she had in her mouth—wet with spit—fell on my face. "That's disgustingly sweet. Candy from the street stalls just doesn't taste like it did when we were kids," Lily said. "If it hadn't come straight from Nate's mouth, there's no way I would've eaten such things." One of the purest memories I had was now part of their intimacy. I felt sick to my stomach. I looked at Nathan, and his gaze started to dart around. "Go to the prayer room and repent. I'll go get you some painkillers," he said without looking me in the eye. "As long as you learn your lesson, I'll let this go." My head suddenly cleared, and I finally realized that he had always been like this. Every time I hit rock bottom, he would carelessly show me a bit of sweetness. It was an endless cycle. The past played clearly in my mind, but I watched the story that used to be mine like a passerby. I felt nothing at all. When I was back in my bedroom, I took our photo off the wall. I tossed it into the box along with the prayer journal where I had written the same prayer for him a thousand times. Before I could finish packing, the prayer journal was soaked through with a cup of water. Just then, I looked up and saw Lily standing there, holding the painkillers with a mocking smile. Chapter 5 "Nate said he never did it with you despite you wearing those outfits. Plus, you still had the nerve to come back?" Lily sneered. "Don't tell me you actually plan on coming to our wedding." As she spoke, she grabbed the photo of me and my mother and tore it to pieces. "Jessica was just as cheap as you," Lily said. "She burned herself alive just to marry you into a rich family. She really was just trash." I was stunned by how well she had faked her kindness at the hospital, but my fury was quickly drowned out from the shock of it all. I slapped her hard across the face. I don't remember how much I'd used to love Nathan, but I knew my mother had no selfish intentions when she saved him. Lily refused to back down too and yanked my hair. In the struggle, we knocked over the scented candle on the table, and the room went up in flames. The fire alarms blared, and Nathan burst through the door. His gaze fell on me, but he quickly looked away. "Nate, Willow said she would kill me and take my place as your wife!" Lily lied. I clutched the shredded photo of me and my mother and screamed, "Shut up! Both of you make me sick! I used to be stupid, but I don't care about marrying you now!" Nathan frowned deeply, and a wave of fury flashed in his eyes. He said through gritted teeth, "Are you that disgusted to be my wife?" There wasn't a trace of love for him in my eyes. At that moment, I just wanted to escape. However, Nathan grabbed my arm and shoved me right into the fire. "If Jessica knew you used fire to hurt someone, she would regret ever having you!" Nathan roared. Gradually, smoke filled my lungs. From the floor, I used the last of my strength to grab Nathan's leg. I screamed, "After all these years, don't you know fires are my biggest fear?" Then, everything went black, and I passed out completely. … When I opened my eyes again, only Sabrina was at my hospital bedside. "Nathan went to handle your discharge. I've never seen him this worried about you," she said. "He even placed the rosary around your wrist, saying it would protect you for life." I looked down to see a rosary around my wrist, its medallion only half of a whole. Last month, Nathan had brought it back from a spiritual retreat and kept it in the prayer room like it was a sacred keepsake. But now, all I could think about was getting away before he tried to discipline me again. When I went out to the hallway, I saw Nathan holding Lily in his arms as he went over her condition with the doctor again and again. On the cuff of her hospital gown hung the rosary Nathan had kept on him for the past ten years. I quietly laughed. It was fortunate that I didn't remember how much I used to love him. Just then, Sabrina texted me. She had already arranged the wedding gift she planned to give Nathan for me. … This time, I felt no hesitation as I made my way to my mother's resting place. I had hoped to retrieve some of her belongings the day before, but everything had been destroyed in the fire. All I could do now was to move her ashes to Hasson. After marrying Luke, I would be able to visit her more often. As I was coming down the hill with the urn in my arms, I unexpectedly ran into Lily. Chapter 6 "I didn't think you would be so sensible. You're the reason I got burned yesterday. Drop the urn and think of it as your way of making it up to me," Lily said with a smirk. Nathan clearly hadn't expected me to be there. The look of surprise in his eyes was mixed with one of guilt. I couldn't believe how shameless he was and clutched the urn tightly in my arms. "Get lost, the both of you!" I yelled. "How can you help her with such a ridiculous thing? My mother died saving your life, Nathan. How dare you?" Nathan's expression wavered, but Lily immediately picked up on his hesitation. "Nate, this is what you promised me. If she doesn't drop the urn, I won't agree to you getting the marriage certificate with her!" Lily snapped. At that moment, the look in Nathan's eyes suddenly hardened. He grabbed my shoulders tightly and held me in place. And then, Lily threw my mother's urn onto the ground. I broke down, but Nathan held me so tightly that I couldn't do anything. "This is so I can marry you. Lily is so generous, so why can't you just give in a little?" Nathan asked. He only released me after watching Lily walk off. I sank to the floor and lightly nodded. "Fine." … At the wedding, I stood beside Lily in a pink gown, looking like decoration. Meanwhile, Lily was wearing a white wedding gown, and a diamond-strung necklace holding a lucky charm rested around her neck. Anyone could tell who the real bride was. Nathan caught me staring and gently took my hand, faking concern. "Remember the gift I told you about? You have one too," he said. "I don't remember." That part of my memory didn't come back, but it didn't matter. All I wanted now was to carry out the plan soon. In Nathan's hand was the matching half of the rosary he'd given me. He grabbed my hand and looked me over, then panic flashed across his face. "Where's your rosary?" he asked. "I threw it out." Nathan looked at me in shock. "Why would you throw it away? How could you forget about it? You said it was the only gift that mattered!" But I wasn't listening, and his voice faded into the noise around us. From the crowd of guests, Sabrina gave me a signal, and I started counting in my head. "Three. Two. One." Right on cue, I leaned into Nathan with a smile and hushed him. "I have a gift for you too." Then, a loud boom shook the air. The lively hall exploded in an instant, burying everyone beneath a pile of rubble.