Leaving My Life in an Intern's Hands

My mother is a hospital director. To give my brother, an intern doctor, more hands-on experience, she assigns him as the lead surgeon for my brain tumor operation. I beg her to let someone else do it and tell her it's my only chance at survival. But she slaps me hard across the face and screams, "How did I raise such a selfish, ungrateful child? Your brother has just started his internship—can't you help him improve his skills? Is that too much to ask?" Later, the surgery fails. I die on the operating table. And my mother seems to have aged decades overnight. Chapter 1 I died while my younger brother, Sean Goyle, was operating on me. He was just an intern doctor. After I died, my soul returned to my mother. At that moment, Mom was busy comforting Sean. "Don't worry. Zachary's a tough one. He'll definitely survive this. Come, let me take you back to rest first." The look in her eyes as she gazed at him was one I'd never seen before—filled with affection and concern. Over the years, Mom's disdain for me had been more than evident. She was always impatient with me. I might have pretended not to care, but in truth, it still hurt. I just didn't want others to see my weakness. Now that I was no longer alive, the grief that had long simmered in my chest finally overflowed. As soon as Mom got home, her phone rang. When she heard the doctor say I had passed away, she snapped, "That's impossible! He was only diagnosed with a minor illness. With so many skilled doctors at the hospital, how could he possibly be dead? "He's just mad that his brother was the one operating on him, so now he's putting on this act with all of you to scare me, right? Don't think I can't see through your tricks!" Mom hung up, fairly certain that this was nothing but a silly act I pulled. Looking guilty, she turned toward Sean and said, "It's all my fault. Sorry for scaring you. I'll make sure to teach Zachary a lesson once he comes back." As soon as her words fell, her phone rang again. Mom scowled at her phone, the gentleness she had just seconds ago completely disappearing. "I made myself very clear earlier. If Zachary wants to die so badly, just get it over with. Stop calling me again and again!" The other end of the line went silent. "Madam Zieck, this is the police. We suspect Sean Goyle may be involved in a medical malpractice incident, but we haven't been able to reach him. We're hoping you'll cooperate with our investigation." Mom completely lost it. "One minute it's the doctors, next it's the police. Whoever you are, you'd better stop slandering my son! Otherwise, you'll regret it!" "Madam Zieck, you must have misunderstood," the voice on the other end quickly said. "We're just following standard procedure." Mom glanced at Sean, who was quivering with fear next to her, then turned back to her phone and bellowed, "Enough! Tell Zachary to stop making a scene. I don't want him to scare Sean!" And with that, she hung up. Ever since I got sick and was admitted to the hospital, she had been very upset with me. She thought I was exaggerating some mild sickness just to get her attention and that I didn't deserve to be hospitalized. For some unknown reason, he became increasingly nervous and trembled more severely. "Mom, I'm so scared…" he murmured. "What if something really happens to Zachary?" "He's just putting on a show," she replied coldly. "Besides, you let the hospital's best surgeon take over the operation halfway through. He'll be fine. I can't believe he's actually pulling something like this. He's gone too far!" Seeing Mom acting so indifferent toward me when my body wasn't even cold yet made my heart sink. I thought back to all those years I spent begging her love like an abandoned puppy, and realization dawned on me—I was nothing but a joke. Chapter 2 Not long ago, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor at the hospital where Mom was working. But sadly, even as the hospital director, she had no idea about my condition. She even said I was just putting on an act. My attending physician said I was in a precarious situation. But if we could bring in Dr. Julian Xanders, the renowned brain tumor specialist, there might still be a chance for me to survive. And he just so happened to be Mom's close friend from university. There were times I tried to approach her with my medical records to get her help, but she didn't even bother to take a proper look. She merely threw the files to the floor and snapped, "I'm busy. Can you stop playing these silly games on me?" As time went on, my condition worsened. The tumor began to affect my optic nerve, and I eventually turned blind. All I could do was endure the pain in bed. Unable to bear it anymore, my attending physician sought Mom out. "Dr. Zieck, Zachary really doesn't have much time left. Please help him!" Without even looking up, Mom replied coldly, "What did he promise you to make you play along with his little game? He just wants to trick me into caring about him, isn't he? "To think he actually claimed that he has a brain tumor! But honestly, it'd be great if he really did have one. At least I'd finally get some peace and quiet. "If you continue fooling around with him, don't blame me for firing you. Now get out!" My physician wanted to say something more, but looking at how unfazed Mom was, she could only shake her head helplessly before leaving. Dr. Xanders was out of reach, and my condition couldn't wait any longer. Left with no choice, my attending physician arranged for the best neurosurgeon in the hospital to perform the surgery. Before the operation, I asked my attending physician to call Mom through a video call. I had already lost my sight, but I still wanted to hear her voice. I just wanted to try one last time to make her believe me. But still, what I got instead was her mocking me. "Oh, are you trying out a new trick now? Pretending to be blind, huh? You really think I'm going to fall for that? "Alright, enough. Stop trying to pull stunts like this all the time!" Before I could say anything more, another patient called her away. But to my surprise, Mom actually came to visit me at my ward that evening. She even brought homemade dinner, and I realized it was the first time she had come to see me since I got sick. A pang of glee shot through me, but then she said, "By the way, I've switched your surgeon. Sean will be operating on you." I was flabbergasted. Never mind that we couldn't get a top specialist, but by replacing my surgeon with Sean, who was still a trainee, she had basically sentenced me to death. "Mom, I'm begging you… Please don't let Sean operate on me," I implored. "This might be my last chance to live. I'll do anything! I'll even kneel if that's what it takes. Just please…" But Mom slapped me hard across the face and roared, "How did I raise such a selfish brat? Your brother just started his internship. What's the harm in helping him get some experience?" "No, Mom! Please, I beg you…" I cried out. "I really want to live… I'll do anything you say as long as you let me live…" Yet, she completely ignored me and began packing up the meal she had brought. "You're unbelievable. To think you can't even handle a minor illness without whining like a baby. But there's nothing left to discuss. This is final." With that, she grabbed her things and sauntered out of my ward, leaving me behind in endless darkness and despair. Chapter 3 On the day of my surgery, Mom anxiously waited outside the operating room. But she wasn't waiting for me; she was looking out for Sean, who was holding the scalpel for the very first time in his life. He'd always been timid. The moment my skull was opened, he began trembling. The supervising surgeon urged him to stop, but he insisted on continuing, saying he wanted to prove himself. Not long into the operation, one of the mistakes caused my heart rate to plummet. The other surgeon quickly snatched the scalpel from his hands and took over. Shaken, Sean ran out of the operating room in a panic and went straight to Mom. She didn't even show the slightest concern for me, even as I hovered on the brink of death. Her only focus was calming Sean down. She even took time off from work just to stay at home and keep him company. After I died, the hospital staff and the police kept calling her, but she rejected every call. A few days later, Sean said he was too traumatized to perform surgery again and proposed a vacation. Mom immediately complied and bought two tickets to Meldives. When I was alive, I had invited her to go on a family trip multiple times. I thought it might be a chance to spend some real time with her. But every time, she turned me down coldly. "I'm swamped every day. How could I possibly find time to travel with you?" It wasn't until later that I realized she just didn't want to leave Sean, who had just started his internship. She wanted to stay close to him. All these years, Mom poured all her time and energy into Sean. Even when I won multiple academic awards, she never once made time for me. To her, I was just a nuisance—someone who got in the way and wasted her time. But now, the same person who once claimed she was far too busy had taken a whole month off to go relax with Sean. As soon as they touched down, Sean stretched and said, "Wow, just being somewhere else really clears the mind. But Mom, do you think Zachary would be mad if he knew? Didn't he always want to go on a trip like this?" Mom's expression instantly soured. "Why bring him up now, of all times? He has no right to be angry. If it weren't for him, you wouldn't be traumatized. If you end up never being able to perform surgery again, I'll break his hands myself!" Sean lowered his head, looking slightly guilty and wronged. "Sorry, Mom," he mumbled. "It's all my fault. I'm just not as good as Zachary. He's already a star surgeon at such a young age." Stroking his head lovingly, Mom crooned, "Silly, he was never better than you. He just got into the industry a few years earlier than you, that's all. People only respected him for my sake." I scoffed. Before she became the hospital director, she was one of the country's top cardiac surgeons. Growing up, she'd always been my role model, and I dreamed of becoming just as brilliant as she was. But from the moment I started medical school, she never helped me—not even once. Instead, she constantly tore me down, saying I simply wasn't cut out for it. She even publicly doubted my eligibility for the awards I won, humiliating me in front of others. Sean, on the other hand, had always been lazy. He only studied medicine because he wanted to take over Mom's position someday. The only reason he chose neurosurgery instead of cardiac surgery like me was to avoid being directly compared to me, so that he wouldn't be seen as inferior. However, Mom went out of her way to hire top experts to personally tutor him in neurosurgery. She'd spoiled him so much that he couldn't even handle the slightest obstacle, yet he was always desperate to prove himself. And in the end, I became the perfect sacrifice for them. Chapter 4 There was a reason why Mom favored Sean. When we were young, she smacked Sean twice because he finished an entire jar of candy. The next day, she took us out, and while we were waiting at the traffic light, Sean pushed her onto the busy road out of resentment. He didn't use much force, but Mom's guard was down. And just like that, she stumbled onto the road. The moment she hit the ground, a car sped past and broke her hand. When she glanced back at us, my arms were still outstretched—I had been trying to save her. But she assumed I was the devil's spawn, trying to end her life, the one responsible for ruining her bright future. The real culprit, however, stood there crying and gained all of Mom's sympathy. She thought Sean was worried about her, but she had no idea the one who ruined her career was her favorite son. Fortunately, Mom wasn't in danger. Her hand eventually recovered after the surgery, but as a cardiac surgeon, she could no longer perform operations. The hospital director where she worked happened to retire around that time, so he offered her his position. But her dream was to become a world-renowned cardiac surgeon. How could she settle for being just the director of a public hospital at such a young age? Since then, Mom had been depressed. Her mood became unpredictable, and she would smash anything in sight during her tantrums—pots, pans, the fridge, even the television couldn't escape her wrath. Dad tried to comfort her, but his efforts were in vain. Sometimes, she even hurt him physically. His face was always marred with scratches he'd gotten trying to calm her rages. At first, he thought that if he were patient enough, he could eventually help her find her way back. But one day, when she flew into another rage, she picked up a knife and slashed his wrist. He nearly lost his life, and that was the last straw. Even Dad, who was known for his good temper, lost it. He filed for divorce against Mom and walked out on us, leaving Sean and me with her. From then on, Mom had to juggle work and raising us. Life was hard for her. And after Dad left, she resented me even more. She blamed me for ruining the bright, enviable future she once had. She used to say I looked just like him—but there was no affection in her gaze, only growing disdain. Sean, however, became her only source of strength. She always said if it weren't for him, she wouldn't know how long she would struggle with depression. To her, he was like her savior who brought light back into her life. But what Mom never knew was that after Dad left, I was the one who cooked all our meals after school. I knew she hated me, so I always had Sean call her to dinner. I was the one who always kept the house clean. I also did the laundry, standing on a stool to hang the clothes out to dry. And with the money I'd saved up over the years since I was young, I bought her Mother's Day gifts, surprise presents, and always made sure her vases were filled with fresh flowers. But she credited it all to Sean, and it was simply because I wasn't good with words. I once tried to explain what really happened during the accident, but every single time, she'd cut me off and tell me off for trying to gain sympathy and falsely accusing Sean. After a few attempts, she decided I was just being defiant and gave me a harsh beating, intending to teach me a lesson. Since then, I stopped trying to explain myself. Sean, of course, noticed how much Mom favored him. So he played the part perfectly—clinging to her like a sweet, considerate child while quietly badmouthing me behind my back. And I'd received beatings more than once because of that. Chapter 5 The driver suddenly slammed on the brakes, jolting me out of my reverie. He cast a sheepish look at Mom and apologized, "Sorry, I almost missed the stop." But Mom, who usually wouldn't miss her chance to snap at the driver at a time like this, was currently too focused on Sean to bother with such trivial things. She ignored the driver, grabbed her luggage, and exited the car. I stared at the view in front of me and belatedly realized this luxury suite with a seaside view was the one I once told her about. Using the money I'd saved up from my years of salary, I had planned to bring her and Sean here once she was on break. And now I had indeed come with them—only, as a soul. Vain as ever, Sean was clearly stunned by the scenery too. Pulling his phone out, he began snapping selfies nonstop and posted several updates to his social media. Ever since they arrived at Meldives, they seemed to have completely forgotten that I'd just come out of surgery. They spent every day either lounging in the sun or indulging in food. Forget about checking in with me—they hadn't so much as mentioned my name once. Just as I was fuming with nowhere to vent, my attending physician, Yvonne Jones, suddenly showed up. Mom also looked surprised to see her all the way out here in a foreign country. "What are you doing here?" she asked. "Dr. Zieck, you've been away from the hospital for days," Yvonne said, her eyes reddening. "It's Zachary. He's…" But Mom seemed like she already knew what Yvonne was about to say. "He's dead, is he?" She cut Yvonne off coldly. "I've heard that line so many times that I can practically recite it. Can't you all come up with something new?" Panic gripped Yvonne. She didn't know how to make Mom believe her, so she could only repeat herself over and over again. "Please, just believe me this once," she cried out. "Zachary's body has been lying in the morgue for an entire week. We've been waiting for you to come and collect it!" Mom threw her head back and laughed. "Collect his body? If he's really dead, I'd celebrate! I'd throw him the grandest funeral this country's ever seen." Just as Yvonne was about to speak again, Mom's expression suddenly darkened. "Enough!" she snapped. "It's bad enough that Zachary lies through his teeth every day, but now you're playing along too? "What did he promise you to get you to come all this way and trick me? Don't tell me you have a crush on him?" She burst out in laughter. "To think someone's actually interested in him!" Hearing this, Sean also sidled up to them and said, "Well, if it isn't Dr. Jones. What kind of spell did Zachary cast on you to make you so loyal to him? "I've always known you had a bit of a thing for him, but did you really have to come all the way here just to scare my mom?" Yvonne's face flushed with fury at their mocking. Deciding to stop persuading them, she stiffened her tone and said, "Zachary's body is in the morgue right now. If you don't believe me, go see for yourselves. Just don't come crying later."