Behind the White Walls

To teach me to behave, my parents forged a paternity test and declared I was not their biological son. My sister ignored my pleas and had me committed to a psychiatric hospital. "You troublemaker, why don't you just die?" they sneered. Even the fiancée I loved most watched with icy eyes and used her connections to make sure I suffered inside. After five years, I finally knew how to keep my head down. So why did they suddenly demand I return to the arrogant heir I once was? Chapter 1 "Zack, are you throwing one of your tantrums again? It's super late, and you're still not back. Are you trying to give us all a heart attack on purpose?" My sister Janet Lloyd's voice was full of blame as it crackled through the phone. After five long years, the Lloyds finally decided I could leave the hospital. Since it was Walter Lloyd's birthday today, he said he would give me a chance to make things right. Then my dad, Nevin Lloyd, grabbed the phone. "I get it, you're mad at us for locking you up, but you were always picking on Walter. We did it for your own good, you know!" Janet chimed in, "Exactly, and look, we're letting you out, aren't we? What more do you want?" They went on and on, lecturing me for a solid half-hour before they finally got around to asking where I was. "Where are you right now? We'll send a car. Just stay put this time, okay? No more trouble!" I swallowed, my voice a raspy whisper. "The mental hospital." Yeah, that's right. I was there the whole time, from sunrise to sunset, without budging an inch. There was a pause on the line, then they came back at me, louder than before. "You're at the hospital and you can't make your own way back? Do we really need to come and fetch you? You know the way home, don't you?" "What's with the drama? Still holding a grudge? I knew you didn't change. Maybe we shouldn't have bothered letting you out!" However, they seemed to forget that they were the ones who told me to stay put in the first place. "Sorry. I'm really sorry, Mr. Lloyd, Ms. Lloyd. I didn't mean to." I blurted out an apology without thinking. Silence. Maybe they were taken aback by how quickly I backed down, or maybe they were just surprised I was being so formal all of a sudden. Five years back, we were as tight-knit as a family could be. However, then came that DNA test, and bam — it turned out the kid who looked so much like his folks was not actually theirs. "Let it go!" The voice on the other end of the line was out of steam. "Your sister will come get you." … I just sat there, shivering in the cold, stomach growling like a caged beast. "Need a lift?" A cab pulled up to the curb. I shook my head. "Someone's coming for me." Cabs came and went. By the time the mental hospital was locking up for the night, the Lloyd family was nowhere to be seen. My phone? Dead silent. The entrance guard could not take it anymore. "You've been here all day! Where are they? I'm about to clock out, and it's not safe for you to be out here all alone!" I gave a half-smile, kept my mouth shut. What was one more day after waiting five years? He sighed, handed me water and bread, and decided to stick around for a bit. It was too risky for me to be alone. "Thank you!" I munched on the bread, surprisingly content. Best birthday in half a decade. … However, the Lloyd family never showed, and the entrance guard ended up taking me back. Chapter 2 I got back to Lloyd's place at the stroke of twelve. Still, my phone was as quiet as a graveyard. The Lloyd house was all lit up, laughter and music spilling out into the night. I did not ask them why. If the maid had not opened the door, I might have just stayed out there forever. "You look a mess! And your clothes are filthy." Janet did not pull any punches when she saw me. My mom, Harriet Yates, looked at me, her eyes wide with a mix of shock and disbelief. "Zack, what happened to you? You're skin and bones!" I could not help but wonder how I went from a sturdy, well-fed heir to someone who looked like he barely tipped the scales at eighty pounds in just five short years. Dad's eyes were filled with a pang of sorrow as he quickly told the servant to whip up something for me to eat. "We were going to come get you, but Walter wasn't feeling well, so we-" he trailed off. I got it. That was their way of saying sorry without actually saying it. They could ignore me, put me down in front of Walter all they wanted, without a second thought about my feelings. Then, like clockwork, they would hand me a little treat, a temporary balm for the hurt. Once upon a time, that would have made my day. However, now? I could not care less. I was about to speak up when Janet cut in. "Oh, please. He's just looking for attention, acting all sad and not eating. He just wants you to feel bad for him so you'll let him stay!" Mom just snorted at Janet's words and turned back to me, her gaze soft and warm. "Besides, we haven't found your real parents, so this is your home now. You can call me 'mom' again, and I'll still be here for you, just like always." "It's okay, Mrs. Lloyd. I'm really thankful for everything you've done for me," I said, keeping it formal, putting an ocean of distance between us with just a few words. Harriet could not hold back her tears any longer. I was no longer the proud, cocky kid she used to know. I would rather have let out all my bitterness, all my complaints about their years of indifference, than have stood there looking so pitiful. … When Walter saw me, he started shaking uncontrollably, as if I were some kind of ghost. It took Walter an eternity to work up the nerve, but finally, he reached out for a handshake. "Zack, let's bury the hatchet, okay?" he offered. I just stood there, frozen. However, we never clashed, so why was he talking about making peace? Five years back, my freshman year at college was just like any other new start: I would loudly claim Liliana Garcia as mine. Liliana, my betrothed, was my heart's raging fire. As the Lloyd family's heir, I was born with a silver spoon and a fierce pride that could not stand the sight of any guy eyeing her. Walter was one of those guys. Somehow, he, an orphanage kid, always managed to turn Liliana's head, she who was usually so aloof. Even my sister, always my ally, turned her back on me for him. I confronted him once. After that, Walter got the rough end of the stick at school. Rumors flew that I could not stomach him. By semester's end, he had had enough and leapt from the school's rooftop. He survived, without a scratch, but he left behind a letter, a letter that screamed accusations at me. Nobody took my side. Even Liliana cut ties. I thought that was rock bottom. Chapter 3 Then the bombshell dropped: I was not Lloyd's real son. Walter was. My real parents? That remained a mystery. In one fell swoop, I plummeted from paradise to purgatory. The family I knew for almost twenty years? They locked me away in a loony bin scarier than any jail. "I don't want the family to worry. Whatever you did to me, I'm over it," he said. "If you promise not to upset Mom and Dad anymore, I'll start treating you like a real brother!" Walter's smile was all sweetness and light, the picture of a good son and a forgiving soul. Anyone watching would have to admit he was the perfect heir to the Lloyd family fortune. All around, people looked at him with admiration, and even Dad gave a nod of approval. "Absolutely, if you turn over a new leaf, you'll always be the Lloyd family's golden boy!" Janet's face was all twisted up in a frown. "I'm letting this slide because of Walter. Aren't you going to thank him? Mess with him again, and you'll have me to answer to!" Five years ago, I would have been tripping over myself to set the record straight. I never picked on Walter; he was the mastermind behind all the so-called bullying. However, I was done playing the fool, trying to justify myself to people who could not have cared less. "Sorry, I just came back to get my ID." Instantly, I was met with a sea of scowling faces. They all thought I was biting the hand that fed me. "Why do you have to make a big deal out of nothing? Keep this up, and do you really want to end up back in the psych ward?" "We raised you, so why can't you be good like Walter? Why do you always have to go against us?" Harriet was losing it, and I could not fathom why. "However, I'm not your real son anymore, am I?" I thought getting my ID and leaving was the logical next step. Harriet froze, her hand falling away as she looked at me, as if she was seeing a stranger. … Janet let out a huff. "You think you can just walk away from twenty-plus years of living it up with the Lloyds? You think you can ever make up for all that?" I just kept my eyes on the ground. I just did not get these people. They could not stand me, and I was not even a Lloyd anymore. So why weren't they happy I was gone? However, somehow, I was still there, stuck with the Lloyds for the time being. My old room, the one that was once mine, was then Walter's. Me? I was downgraded to the nanny's room, a place I never thought I would sleep in. No complaints from me, though. I hit the sack early. However, even on that soft bed, nightmares haunted me. I was back in that mental hospital, reliving the daily torment. Those monsters did not care about my screams, just ripped at my clothes. I begged them, told them my family and my fiancée, Liliana, would make them pay. However, fighting back just made them worse, more vicious. They mocked me and said I was living in a fantasy. Laughed at the idea that I still saw myself as Lloyd's golden boy. They called me an idiot. Because everything that happened to me was with the Lloyds' and Liliana's blessing! I woke up from that nightmare, shivering all over. … I needed water, something to calm my nerves. That's when I saw Janet sneaking out, helmet in hand, ready for another midnight ride. I pretended not to notice and kept pouring my drink. However, Janet stopped and came over. "Aren't you going to say anything?" she asked. Chapter 4 "Like what?" I shot back. Janet, the Lloyd's princess, always got her way. She'd got that thing for bikes, loved the rush, I guessed. I thought back to her accident, how I used to chew her out for taking those risks, always telling her to be careful. Every time I tried to warn Janet, she gave me that look like I was the most annoying person on the planet. "Seriously? You're a big guy, and you're fussier than me? What do you even know about it? Riding bikes is all about the rush! You're not my brother, and even Walter doesn't bug me about it, so why do you?" I knew she was fed up with my lectures, but I could not help myself. Every time she was about to take off, I would repeat my warnings, driven by worry. However, all my nagging, all my care, just evaporated over those five years without a single sign that she heard my cries for help. Janet's face turned stormy in an instant. "You're not scared I'll speed and crash?" I shook my head. "I don't get it. Isn't the whole point of biking to chase the adrenaline? "I'm fine, I'm heading to my room, alright?" However, Janet was not having it. She blocked my path, and when I tried to sidestep her, she stopped me with an outstretched arm. "Are you still hung up on being sent to the psych ward for five years? Do you really need to hold onto that anger? Did you ever stop to think that if you weren't such a bully to Walter, if you hadn't been so vile, we wouldn't have had to send you there?" Her laugh was sharp as ice. Every fight, she would throw my past, my bullying of Walter, right in my face. She would just stand there, watching me unravel, lose it. However, not this time. I just shook my head, calm as could be. "I'm not mad, not at all." Yet she seemed furious, her foot slamming into the table. … When I saw Liliana again, I thought I would be overwhelmed, that I would spill out all the pain I had carried for years. However, none of that happened, not even a ripple stirred in my heart. She stood there with Walter, the picture-perfect couple, a tenderness in her eyes I had never seen before. She saw me and frowned, almost instinctively. Ever since I was little, I fancied Liliana's future husband, scribbling down my dream of marrying her among other dreams of becoming a scientist, a doctor. Looking back, it feels like I was the one who kept bothering Liliana. She never really gave me a straight answer. People said she was only nice to me because of the Lloyd family. Well, Liliana probably got what she wanted. "Zack, I noticed your clothes were all dirty yesterday, so I picked out a few for you. Don't worry, I've only worn them once. You don't mind, do you?" Walter said, holding up his cast-offs like trophies. All eyes were on us at that moment. I was hit with a flashback of all the times I was awkwardly bested by Walter. However, those embarrassments seemed like nothing after surviving five years in what felt like hell. "Thanks a lot!" I said, taking them with a polite smile. They would come in handy when I finally got away from the Lloyd family, maybe even fetch a little cash. The once proud heir was then scraping by, and even the loyal servants were gossiping. The Lloyd family did not look too happy, though. "Zack, you're so pathetic!" Janet snapped, tossing the clothes from my hands to the floor. "How can you wear someone's hand-me-downs? Don't you realize you're part of our Lloyd family?"