Forgetting The Alpha Who Left Me

During the pack's wilderness training, my adopted sister, Tessa, shoved me from a cliffside thick with wolfsbane. My Alpha, Fenrir, turned and left with Tessa feigning injury in his arms, leaving me for dead at the bottom of the ravine. I died instantly, but my soul lingered, watching everything with cold detachment. I watched as Tessa's tearful complaints swayed him into blaming me for my own disappearance. "Will Selene ever stop causing me trouble?" "She's weak and always looking for trouble. How could she possibly be fit to be our Luna?" He had no idea I was already dead at the bottom of that cliff choked with wolfsbane. Five whole days. The poison hit my bloodstream like liquid fire, racing through my veins with merciless speed. As my body decayed under the moonlight, my love for him faded with it. The title of Luna, the magnificent coronation I had dreamed of, everything I once cherished was now meaningless. The Selene who loved him was well and truly dead. Chapter 1 My soul drifted in the air, the wolf within me long since fallen silent. I was pushed from a cliff by the sister I grew up with, dying instantly as the wolfsbane below delivered its poison. Perhaps the Moon Goddess pitied me, leaving a sliver of my soul behind to witness the end of my old life. The moments before my death were still so vivid, the memory alone sent a chill through me. "Sister, you're being so careless." My adopted sister, Tessa, steadied me at the cliff's edge, her voice laced with concern. "We grew up together. Why would I ever hurt you?" Her hand gently stroked my back, an intimate, comforting gesture between sisters, right before she shoved me hard. In an instant, the thorny stems of the wolfsbane below pierced my skin. The wolfsbane burned through my body, each breath becoming a struggle as my lungs seized. I tried to scream, but only strangled gasps escaped my throat. My wolf whimpered once before falling completely silent, severed from me forever. Every nerve felt like it was being torn apart, the agony so intense that I welcomed the approaching darkness. I could felt my life slipping away. Soon, everything fell silent. My body lay at the base of Moonridge Cliffs, hidden behind a massive stone monument. No one even noticed the gash a sharp rock had torn in my hand, the blood a stark stain against the grayish white cliff face. The crimson stain spread across the rock like a grim, beautiful flower. Every so often, I saw a group of shifted wolves race down from the mountaintop, their claws clattering against the stone. "Alpha, there's no sign of the Luna here." They were reporting to Fenrir. It was laughable. I was so obviously dead, yet no one had found me. But even in death, I still cared about Fenrir's reaction. One of the perks of being a spirit was hearing everyone's mind-link. When Fenrir heard there was still no news of me, he launched into a tirade. "Where has she run off to now, forcing me to deploy the entire guard to search the mountain!" "Why couldn't she just stay put? Does she enjoy making me waste days searching for her!" "Is she that unaware of her own weakness? Can't she go one day without causing a scene?" Deep in the autumn mountains, the freezing night was filled with the howls of wolves. At first, my spirit didn't dare stray far from my body. I lingered by my corpse, enduring the loneliness of death while clinging to the fantasy that Fenrir would come for me. He's my Alpha, I thought, he wouldn't really just leave me here. But as night fell, darkness enveloped everything. Pairs of glowing wolf eyes flickered in the gloom, and threatening growls from wild beasts echoed in the distance. My soul trembled as I could only watch the beasts circle and sniff at my corpse. My body began to reek of decay, though thankfully the cold mountain air slowed the process. I was used to it. Fenrir had always seen me as delicate, a burden, useless. Whenever a problem arose, no matter how I explained, his response was always the same: "Are you faking it for sympathy again? What trick are you playing now?" Whatever. I didn't want to argue anymore. Let him think what he wanted. I floated back to the pack. A young Omega in the search party couldn't help but mutter as he reported back: "Alpha, the Luna should have returned by now... Have you felt anything wrong through your mate bond?" Fenrir's brow suddenly furrowed. His heart stuttered, and he was about to say something when Tessa, at his side, cut in. She covered her mouth with a shocked expression. "Are you a close friend of my sister's?" The warrior she questioned shook his head, bewildered. "No, I don't know the Luna at all." It was his first day on the search team. He didn't even know all his teammates, let alone me. Tears instantly welled in Tessa's eyes, her voice choked with emotion. "Oh, I see... I thought you were a friend of my sister's, showing your concern for her." "I suppose I read too much into it. It's just... when you defended her so strongly, I worried people might get the wrong impression..." "I don't want my sister's reputation to be damaged. After all, she is the Luna of our pack." As she spoke, she looked at Fenrir, her eyes welling with innocent, aggrieved tears. Just as she'd planned, Fenrir's expression instantly darkened like a sky before a storm. His Alpha's power radiated through the area. He turned to the warrior who had just spoken, his voice as cold as frost. "You. You're demoted to omega duties, effective immediately." "Let me make something clear. I am your Alpha. The mate bond is none of your business." "If anyone else dares to forget their place, their fate will be far worse!" At his words, everyone flinched and stepped back, terrified they would be next. Only Tessa stepped forward, tears still glistening on her cheeks. "I just don't know where sister could have run off to." "Alpha, sister didn't mean it. She was spoiled growing up, a bit willful. Pushing me must have just been a fit of temper." "She probably just ran off to play. Please don't be angry with her..." Tessa played her part perfectly. She had effortlessly convinced Fenrir that I was the one who pushed her, and that my disappearance was just me running off in a huff. Hearing this, Fenrir's rage flared. "Selene should be grateful your arm isn't seriously injured. Otherwise, I'll have her confined the moment she returns." "The way she is now, she is in no way fit to be a Luna." A hollow, soundless laugh escaped me. Just as he wished, I could never be his Luna again. Chapter 2 My soul continued to drift, watching my body grow stiffer in the cold wind. With no one to talk to, I was getting terribly bored. I suddenly thought back to our youth, to how brilliant Fenrir had been. The entire werewolf world knew that the Alpha of the Silvermoon Pack was young, promising, and incredibly powerful. He had a line of she-wolf admirers stretching from the northern to the southern borders. Compared to him, I seemed almost insignificant. It's laughable now, but I fought with everything I had to keep him. I tried everything: crying, pouting, pleading. I found ways to drive away any she-wolf who got too close to Fenrir. Everyone said I was a possessive lunatic. Until my eighteenth birthday, on the night of the full moon, when the entire pack gathered in the temple square. The silver light of the Moon Goddess shone down, creating a bridge of light between Fenrir and me that only fated mates could see. "You are my one and only Mate," he had said, looking at me with a tenderness I had never seen before. I felt it had all been worth it. In getting Fenrir, I had gotten the entire world. I naively believed it was because he loved me. Looking back now, it was probably just the pride he felt in having a pure-blooded Luna. And now, here was Fenrir, standing before the massive floor-to-ceiling window of the command center. His tall frame cast a long shadow, blocking the sunlight that streamed in from outside. He knew I could be willful, but the sudden weakening of our mate bond filled him with an unease he couldn't shake. "Damn it!" he cursed to himself. "What the hell is Selene playing at? Is she trying to make me worry again?" "Expand the search radius!" he commanded from the command center. "Leave no stone unturned! I want the Luna found and brought back to me within three days!" He dispatched more search parties, mobilizing nearly all the pack's warriors. Fenrir always was an Alpha who cared about his image, I knew that. The whole pack was waiting for the Luna coronation to proceed as scheduled, and he wouldn't allow me to make a fool of him in front of everyone. He was probably thinking that when I returned, he would finally have to teach me a lesson, to put me in my place. Just then, Tessa came to his side, gently reminding him, "Fenrir, you haven't slept all night. You need to take care of yourself." "Your Luna wouldn't want to see you run yourself into the ground." Fenrir ignored her. As he put on his coat, preparing to lead a team to the cliffs himself, Tessa suddenly collapsed. "Ah!" she cried out in pain. "What is it?" Fenrir immediately spun around to support her. "My ankle... I think I twisted it..." Tessa's eyes welled with tears. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be causing you more trouble at a time like this." "Don't be ridiculous." Fenrir frowned, examining her injury. "We need to treat this first." "No, you have to find my sister! I'll be fine!" Tessa insisted through a grimace of pain. "Your old injury hasn't even healed. How can you be fine like this?" Fenrir shook his head. "I'll leave the search to the others. I'm taking you to the pack infirmary first." And just like that, Fenrir, who should have been heading for the cliffs, was successfully sidetracked by Tessa. My soul watched it all, a deep sense of irony filling me. I was lying at the bottom of a cliff waiting for him to find me, and yet he was tending to the very person who pushed me. "Do you think... do you think something might have happened to my sister?" Tessa asked, her voice laced with "worry." "What are you talking about?" Fenrir reassured her. "Selene has pulled this stunt too many times. I know her. She'll come back when she's tired of her games." He thought this time was just like all the others, that I was having a little tantrum and would be back in a few days after making him worry. That before long, I'd come crawling back like a dog, begging for his love. What a fool. Did the great Alpha not even feel the bond between us fading, bit by bit? I thought of my bruised, purplish corpse, of the horrifying marks left by the wolfsbane's poison. As my body decayed, our mate mark was gradually dimming. Night fell, and the pack's search parties returned, exhausted. "Alpha, we've searched the northern forest. Nothing." "The western river valley has been searched as well. Still nothing." Fenrir's expression grew darker, anxiety gnawing at him. "Continue tomorrow!" he said through gritted teeth. "Let's see just how far she can run!" And my soul, at the bottom of the cliff, watched it all in silence. Another day passed. He still hadn't found me. Chapter 3 My body had begun to show obvious signs of decay. I watched as wild dogs tore at my body, my arms and legs a bloody, mangled mess. To think I, who had always prized beauty, once cared so much about my appearance. I had even personally helped design the gown for the Luna coronation. I had to be the most beautiful one, to ensure Fenrir's eyes were only for me. I just never imagined I would die in such an ugly way. Today, Fenrir's search order was for the southern valley. But suddenly, the command center had a visitor. It was Tessa's brother, Sean. I didn't understand how a waste of space like him could even set foot in the pack's command center. After all, even I knew that Tessa's long-lost biological brother was a notorious rogue who had done nothing but cause trouble. His presence here meant trouble. But I had to admire Tessa's cleverness. For three days, she had used every trick in the book to keep Fenrir from searching the site himself. She knew that if his mate bond got too close to me, he would surely sense that something was wrong. "I hear Selene is missing?" Sean asked, feigning concern. "I was traveling outside and ran into some rogues. They said they saw a she-wolf near the abandoned mines to the east." "Could it be Selene?" The news clearly caught Fenrir's attention. He shot his head up. "The east? Are you sure?" "Not entirely, but it's a lead. It's worth checking out," Sean nodded. And so, the search party that should have been scouring the cliffs was diverted in the opposite direction by Sean's false intel. My soul could only watch helplessly as they moved farther and farther away. I silently cursed his stupidity, but no one could hear me. Tessa whispered in Sean's ear, "Well done, brother." "Keep distracting them. We can't let them find that bitch's body." Sean gave a sinister smile. "Don't worry. I have my ways." He was being played, and he couldn't even see it. It was only just before I fell that I learned how much Tessa hated me. "My sister, you're so careless." Her voice was as gentle as a spring breeze, her hand stroking my back. An intimate, comforting gesture between sisters. The moment I let my guard down, her lips drew close to my ear. Her voice suddenly turned venomous and cruel. "Just die. The pack doesn't need a weak Luna." That push, she'd put all her strength into it. I had no time to react before I was plunging into the abyss. And her voice still echoed in my ears: "You'd better just die here... The place by Fenrir's side was always meant to be mine." So from the very beginning, she had wanted me dead. While spouting words of sisterly affection, she had viciously pushed me off the cliff. Then, she found a suitable spot on the training grounds to lie down. After making sure no one was around, she quickly drew a small dagger from her boot. Without a moment's hesitation, she carved a deep gash in her own arm. Blood gushed out instantly. She gritted her teeth, enduring the pain, and squeezed the wound to make it bleed even more. Then, she threw the dagger off the cliff, destroying the evidence. She tore her clothes, smeared dirt on her face, and messed up her hair. Once everything was ready, she began to scream for help. By the time Fenrir rushed over via mind-link, Tessa was lying there weakly, and I was already dead at the bottom of the cliff, poisoned by wolfsbane. Tessa told Fenrir she didn't know where I'd gone, that we had gotten separated during training. And just like that, Fenrir was lured back to the pack to tend to her, leaving my body to lie alone at the base of the cliff. I was silently consumed by the lethal poison until every last breath of life was gone. What was I thinking, in those last moments before death? I thought of the day my father first brought Tessa home, telling me that from then on, I had a sister. I thought of the many happy times Tessa and I had shared. I also thought of that terrible war, where Fenrir held me tightly, telling me not to be afraid. But back then, what I feared most wasn't losing someone I loved, but being alone. Ever since I watched my parents die in the pack war, I'd had an indescribable fear of being alone. But at that time, Fenrir was still there for me. From that day on, he became the person I trusted most in the world, aside from my parents. My mate. That was why I had joined them for this wilderness training. I wanted to be by Fenrir's side as much as possible. Even with Tessa there, I wanted to try to connect with him. I never thought I would lose my life in the depths of a ravine. Remembering the despair of my final moments, my soul couldn't help but tremble. The physical agony and mental torment rushed back all at once. For a full day, the search party scoured the eastern mines, coming up with nothing. Fenrir's mood grew agitated. The faintness of the mate bond made him restless. "Why? Why can't they find her?" he paced anxiously in the command center. "Where in the world did she go?" Three days. It was longer than any of my previous tantrums had ever lasted. He was done waiting for me to come back. Tessa gently handed him a cup of hot tea. "Fenrir, you haven't rested properly in three days." "If you keep this up, even if you find my sister, you won't have the strength to care for her." "I'm not tired," Fenrir waved her off. "Selene might have run off to another pack this time. She still isn't back." At this point, my corpse was barely intact. Where could I have possibly run to? But that hardly mattered anymore. When the mate bond finally severed, he would find out sooner or later. I suddenly found myself wondering: if he knew the truth, how would he react? Would he feel any regret? Chapter 4 I had been dead for four days when the Great Elder, the most respected member of our pack, broke his seclusion, having sensed the alarming fade of the Luna's life force. He came to the command center in person. The moment I saw the venerable old man, my soul stirred with excitement. After my parents died in the war, it was the Great Elder who took my hand and saw to it that I was cared for. He told me himself that if I was ever wronged, I should come to him. No matter what, he would have my back. In front of Fenrir, the Great Elder reached a trembling hand toward his own forehead. "Her spirit has left her body... The mate bond is so faint, it's nearly extinguished..." The Great Elder's face turned ashen. "Great Elder, what are you saying?" Fenrir's expression turned grim. "The Luna is just throwing a tantrum, it's no big deal, she'll be back in a couple of days..." Tessa interjected hurriedly. "Silence!" The Great Elder roared, raising his staff. The staff struck Tessa hard. "You lying outsider!" "How dare you lie in front of me?" Tessa stumbled back a few steps, her face deathly pale. "Great Elder... I don't understand what you mean..." "You don't understand?" The Elder's eyes blazed with fury. "The Luna's soul has clearly left her body, yet you claim she's just playing games?" "Great Elder, you have me wrong," she said, her eyes welling with tears. The Great Elder was merciless. "You ungrateful creature!" "Selene's parents adopted you, loved you like their own daughter!" "Yet you covet her position as Luna, your words and actions overstep your bounds!" "An adopted Beta, and you dare dream of becoming the Luna?" Tessa covered her face, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Great Elder... I didn't... I was just worried about my sister..." "Worried?" the Elder sneered. "Worried about when she'll finally die so you can take her place, is that it?" Seeing Tessa's swollen cheek, Fenrir's face turned to ice as he moved to shield her. "She is part of this family." He looked at the Great Elder, his expression blank. "As long as I am here, I'd like to see anyone try to touch her!" Fenrir's dominance erupted, and the temperature in the room plummeted. The Great Elder, leaning on his staff, met his gaze without flinching. "Fenrir, you've lost your mind!" "This she-wolf is poison!" "She is Selene's adopted sister!" Fenrir roared back. "She grew up with us! On what grounds do you accuse her of meaning us harm?" The Great Elder said, with his body trembling. "Why do you think you haven't been able to find Selene?" "This she-wolf has been lying the entire time!" Tessa hid behind Fenrir, her eyes filled with tears. Fenrir was thoroughly enraged. He took a step forward, his Alpha presence overwhelming. "Enough! I will not allow anyone to harm Tessa!" "Not even you!" The Great Elder stared at him in shock. "Fenrir, do you know what you are saying?" "I know perfectly well!" Fenrir's eyes burned with a manic fire. Before he could finish, his flagrant disrespect for the sacred mate bond triggered a violent spiritual backlash. Waves of the Moon Goddess's wrath pulsed through the air. As the Moon Goddess's most devout follower, the Great Elder bore the brunt of this terrifying power. He coughed up a spray of blood, the divine backlash shattering his strength as he collapsed. My soul rushed over, trying to see how he was. Fenrir was also struck by the backlash from the mate bond. A searing pain shot through his chest, making it impossible for him to stand. Healers rushed in and carried the Great Elder away for emergency treatment. Hearing the news, members of the Pack Council rushed back from across the territory. They already held the Great Elder's authority in high esteem, and now they were deeply concerned. "We're gone for just a few days and this happens!" "Alpha! If something happens to the Great Elder, can you bear that responsibility?" The Council members bombarded Fenrir with accusations. But their true anger was directed at me. Tessa saw her chance and spoke up, her voice trembling with feigned sincerity. "I think... maybe sister really is a bad omen..." "She's turned the entire pack upside down..." The Pack Council immediately agreed. "Exactly! How can she cause so much trouble while she's just missing!" "Does she really think her bloodline is so special? That she can do whatever she wants just because she holds the Luna title!" Fenrir frowned at their words. "Elders, don't say that..." "After all, Selene's parents died to save the pack. She is one of our own..." "Enough!" An elder cut him off impatiently. "Are we supposed to let the entire pack cater to her forever just because her parents were heroes?" "She's such a curse. If you insist on completing the Luna coronation with her, what will become of the pack?" "You'd be better off rejecting this walking disaster sooner rather than later!" Another elder chimed in. "That's right, let her get far away from here and stop plaguing our pack!" Fenrir's first instinct was to refuse. He just wanted me to come back; he had never considered actually severing the mate bond. But Tessa stopped him, her eyes filled with tears as she spoke softly. "Fenrir, if you keep insisting, won't that just make the elders even angrier with sister?" "And..." she glanced in the direction the Great Elder had been carried off. "The Great Elder is in this state because of my sister..." After a moment's thought, she offered a suggestion. "To stabilize the pack, why don't we... just cancel the coronation for now?" "No." This time, Fenrir refused without a second thought. Canceling the coronation was equivalent to stripping me of my Luna status, a mark of shame for any Alpha. Given Fenrir's personality, he would never choose that path. Besides, a compliant Luna like me wasn't easy to find. "But if we let her go on like this..." Tessa's eyes held a flicker of resentment, which she quickly concealed. "It won't just hurt her, it will cause you pain as well, Alpha." Fenrir considered for a moment, but still shook his head. "The coronation is the will of the Moon Goddess. It cannot be lightly canceled." "That's final. I've made my decision." Chapter 5 Back at his villa, Fenrir replayed the Great Elder's words in his mind. He felt that the most respected elder in the pack had no reason to lie about this. Moreover, the complete lack of any sensation from me for days was truly abnormal. "Selene, you're always making your presence known, but now there's just... silence. It's really as if..." He murmured to himself, trailing off. I floated beside him, wanting to tell him that even in death, I was still by his side. But it was no use. I could scream my lungs out and no one would hear. When I was alive, I was always bogged down with trivial matters. Now that I was dead, I finally had time to really look at the bedroom Fenrir and I shared. The nightstand was empty, save for one thing: our only photo together. It was taken after the Moon Goddess had declared us mates. In the picture, we were holding each other tightly, our faces beaming with happiness. The light of the Moon Goddess shone down on us, a witness to our sacred union. Back then, I believed with all my heart that we would be happy forever, just like in that photo. I reached out a spectral hand, wanting to touch it. My fingers passed right through the glass, brushing over the innocent, smiling face that was once mine. That girl believed in love, in fate, in an Alpha who would protect her forever. My soul gazed at the faded photograph and smiled bitterly. Then I slowly passed through it, a silent farewell to the girl I used to be. On the vanity was a small wooden carving, now covered in a thick layer of dust. I had given it to Fenrir for his coming-of-age ceremony. My parents had just died, and the Great Elder had taken me in. Everything felt so new and strange. When the Elder was busy with pack affairs, Fenrir would keep me company, training with me, helping me get used to pack life. That wolf-shaped carving had taken me a full month to make. My own wolf was unstable even then, but to be worthy of a powerful Alpha like him, I trained relentlessly. I would wake up at four every morning to practice combat skills. I wouldn't stop even when I had a high fever. "Selene, you don't have to push yourself so hard," he used to say, back when he still cared. "Your body is naturally weak. Just do what you can." But I wouldn't listen. I saw the way the stronger she-warriors looked at him. I knew what they were thinking. They were questioning why such an outstanding Alpha had been fated to a weak Luna like me. So I worked twice as hard. Until one day, I collapsed during training and woke up three days later in the medical bay. My body was never the same after that. And in the end, all it earned me was his disdainful glare. "With a body like that, how can you protect the pack?" "You can't even manage a basic shift. What kind of Luna are you?" Those words were like silver daggers, cutting into my heart one by one. It's all so laughable now. I watched Fenrir toss and turn, unable to sleep all night. Early the next morning, Tessa came over to prepare his breakfast. "I'm not in the mood to eat," Fenrir waved her away. "I'm going to the cliffs myself today." "But Fenrir, the search parties have been there for days. Sister is definitely not there..." "Since when do you have the right to question my decisions?" The force of his Alpha command silenced Tessa. She didn't know what had gone wrong. When Fenrir finally reached the bottom of the ravine, carrion birds were already circling overhead. My body had started to rot. I watched him press a hand to his chest again and again. The closer he got to my corpse, the deeper his brow furrowed. My own soul throbbed with a tearing pain. This damned mate bond. It wouldn't let me go, even in death. Finally, at the edge of Moonridge Cliffs, Fenrir caught a familiar scent. And... and the smell of blood. He carefully peered over the edge, looking behind the massive stone monument. My corpse was slumped against the rock wall, eyes shut, with barely any skin left intact. The wolfsbane toxin had left gruesome marks all over me, and my blood had long since clotted into dark red patches. On the fifth day, he finally found me. And I knew it was time to go. My soul began to glow, transforming into a soft light. As my soul began to dissipate, I heard the final thought from my own heart: "Goodbye, Fenrir." "The Selene who loved you is gone forever." The light grew brighter. I felt my consciousness being gently pulled away. The very instant my soul vanished, every breeze in the pack fell still. An eerie silence descended upon the air. Fenrir's heart suddenly felt hollow, as if a piece of his soul had been violently ripped away. The next second, an agonizing, soul-tearing pain exploded from the depths of his being! The wolf tattoo on his arm, the symbol of our mate bond, shattered in an instant, turning to black ash. The once-shimmering silver crescent mark vanished completely. The agony of the severed mate bond struck him like lightning, a sharp blade piercing his chest, a pain beyond endurance. Even more terrifying, all the pain I had ever endured—the despair of being pushed from the cliff, the torment of the wolfsbane's poison, the anguish of being misunderstood, the loneliness of being ignored. All of it flooded his senses in that one moment. "Selene... Selene..." His eyes were bloodshot. He trembled, trying to feel for our bond, but all he found was a dead, empty void. His wolf took over completely, and under the psychic shock, he collapsed into unconsciousness. Fenrir didn't know how long he was out. In his dreams, I was standing on the cliff's edge, telling him over and over, "Goodbye, Fenrir." Then I would leap into the abyss. "Selene!" He shot up in bed. He was drenched in a cold sweat, the searing pain still echoing from the depths of his soul. "You're awake," Tessa said, sitting by his bed while holding a bowl of medicinal broth. "Drink this. It will help." But Fenrir didn't hear a word she said. He threw back the covers and staggered out of bed. "Where is Selene? I have to see Selene!" Seeing she couldn't stop him, Tessa bit her lip, her voice thick with false sympathy as she said, "Calm down!" "Selene... she's dead!" Fenrir looked up, his face a mask of disbelief. "What did you say?"