After My 99th Suicide, I Forgot My Alpha

In the three years since I became Zander's mate, I've tried to kill myself ninety-nine times. Kidnapped by a rival pack in my youth, years of torture nearly destroyed me. I clawed my way back to the Crescent Moon Pack, only to find my place had been taken by an adopted daughter, Vivian. My Beta parents doted on her, and my fated mate—the Alpha himself—had eyes only for her. I begged them, told them my kidnapping and my suicide attempts weren't accidents, but all I ever heard was: "Ember, you're delusional. You just wandered off and got lost." "You tried to drown yourself in the river." The people closest to me, and not one of them believed me. Until the ninety-ninth time. Another "suicide." When I woke up three days later, I rubbed my aching head. My eyes were vacant, my own gaze foreign to me. I had forgotten who I was, forgotten the humiliation I'd endured, forgotten the desperate girl who had thrown away her dignity for a scrap of her Alpha's affection. At the pack ceremony, while everyone waited for me to fawn pathetically over Zander, a single tear slid down my cheek for reasons I couldn't comprehend. I wiped it away and, under the shocked stares of the entire pack, announced calmly: "Zander," my voice was steady. "I don't love you anymore. So I, Ember of the Crescent Moon Pack, hereby reject you as my mate." "This little act again?" Zander sneered, his eyes glinting with the same casual contempt they always held for me. But he didn't know. This time, I was leaving him for good. It wasn't until I vanished completely that the ones who'd never believed me were the ones who truly went mad. Chapter 1 In the three years since I became Zander's mate, I've tried to kill myself ninety-nine times. Kidnapped by a rival pack in my youth, years of torture nearly destroyed me. I clawed my way back to the Crescent Moon Pack, only to find my place had been taken by an adopted daughter, Vivian. My Beta parents doted on her, and my fated mate—the Alpha himself—had eyes only for her. I begged them, told them my kidnapping and my suicide attempts weren't accidents, but all I ever heard was: "Ember, you're delusional. You just wandered off and got lost." "You tried to drown yourself in the river." The people closest to me, and not one of them believed me. Until the ninety-ninth time. Another "suicide." When I woke up three days later, I rubbed my aching head. My eyes were vacant, my own gaze foreign to me. I had forgotten who I was, forgotten the humiliation I'd endured, forgotten the desperate girl who had thrown away her dignity for a scrap of her Alpha's affection. At the pack ceremony, while everyone waited for me to fawn pathetically over Zander, a single tear slid down my cheek for reasons I couldn't comprehend. I wiped it away and, under the shocked stares of the entire pack, announced calmly: "Zander," my voice was steady. "I don't love you anymore. So I, Ember of the Crescent Moon Pack, hereby reject you as my mate." "This little act again?" Zander sneered, his eyes glinting with the same casual contempt they always held for me. But he didn't know. This time, I was leaving him for good. It wasn't until I vanished completely that the ones who'd never believed me were the ones who truly went mad. ... The next time I woke, I was in a room in the pack infirmary. "She's awake! Go get the Beta and his mate!" The stark white light made me squint. The cloying scent of antiseptic burned my nostrils and made my stomach churn. I struggled to sit up, my head splitting. My mind was a perfect blank. I couldn't remember a thing. "Another suicide attempt, Ember? Is faking amnesia your new strategy?" A middle-aged couple sat by the bed. The moment I opened my eyes, they were frowning at me. The woman's voice was laced with undisguised disgust. "Who are you trying to fool with that innocent act? Don't go thinking you're the real Luna. If your bloodline hadn't suddenly awakened during the Moon Goddess ceremony, the Alpha would never have been forced to mark someone as worthless as you." Her wolf surfaced slightly in her anger as she spoke. "He doesn't care about you. It doesn't matter how many 'accidents' you stage for his attention. All these years, has he ever given a single damn whether you live or die?" "We've already spent thirty thousand dollars saving you from yourself," the man said coldly. "Do you have any idea how much Vivian contributes to this pack? She is the Luna this pack deserves." "This time, she was the one who found you trying to drown yourself in the river. She saved your life, Ember. The least you can do is step aside for her." I stared at them, bewildered. My own wolf was terrifyingly silent, as if it had been completely suppressed. Through their merciless tirade, a shattered version of myself began to take shape. My parents told me my name was Ember, the eldest daughter of the Crescent Moon Pack's Beta family. They said I was a willful, difficult child who had run away from home, breaking their hearts. I hadn't been able to make it on my own in the outside world and had come crawling back with wild stories about being kidnapped—lies spun from jealousy, they claimed, because they had given their love to another. As they spoke, a deep, instinctual revulsion rose in me. I knew, in a place deeper than memory, that this was not the truth. Later, during the Moon Goddess ceremony, my bloodline finally awakened, and I found my fated mate—I shared a destined bond with the Crescent Moon Pack's Alpha, Zander. But I never could have imagined that even the place of Luna in his heart was already reserved for Vivian. Broken memories flooded my mind—fractured phrases, all dripping with his undisguised contempt. "The position of Luna? You think you're worthy?" "This all belongs to Vivian." "You were a rogue for too long, Ember. Why can't you learn your place?" Even after I came back, I was an afterthought, a ghost in my own home, constantly overlooked. Not by my parents, and not by my fated mate. And I was lying here this time because, after countless agonizing and helpless attempts to change my fate, I had finally chosen to end it in despair. This was, apparently, the ninety-ninth time. And I still hadn't managed to die. "That's enough. We need to go help Vivian prepare her gown for the Moon Goddess Festival," my father said, rising. His powerful Beta stance radiated impatience. "If you've truly lost your memory, then all the better." "At least you'll stop pestering Zander and causing him trouble." The moment the heavy wooden doors of the infirmary closed, a pain so sharp it felt like it was tearing my soul apart shot through my chest. I had no memory of them, yet the feeling of being abandoned by the entire world was terrifyingly real, as if etched into my very bones. So it was true. Parents could exist who didn't love their own blood, and an Alpha could exist who cared nothing for his fated mate. What was even more horrifying was that these people, the ones who should have been my closest allies, were the ones who had driven me to this edge. I didn't dare to think too deeply about it. Just hearing these unfamiliar stories of my past made my heart ache as if it were being carved up by a silver blade. I slowly pushed myself up and staggered out of the infirmary. But as I stood in the center of the pack's main square, I had no idea where to go. I couldn't remember where my parents lived, or where Zander's house was. The sad truth was, neither of those places was a home to me. Neither would welcome a "waste" like me. Suddenly, a commotion erupted at the entrance to the square. A powerful Alpha's presence washed over the area like a tidal wave. I looked up to see a man bursting through the crowd, a woman cradled in his arms. He was tall and powerfully built, radiating an Alpha aura that screamed dominance. The woman he carried had a cascade of dark hair, and even her pale complexion couldn't hide her beauty as she pressed her face against his chest. He held her protectively, his arms tightened in a display of primal possession. He even softened his steps, as if afraid of jostling her in the slightest. "Move!" His voice was low, but it held an undeniable command that had the onlookers parting for him like the sea. "Gods, is that our Alpha?" someone behind me whispered, their voice trembling. "Who else could it be but Alpha Zander? Who else in the entire Crescent Moon Pack has that kind of presence? Didn't you see how the other wolves scattered...?" I froze, my blood turning to ice. So this was my Alpha husband, Zander. And the woman in his arms had to be my adopted sister, Vivian. As the man rushed past me, his stride faltered for a fraction of a second. His eyes, dark as the abyss, swept over me, as cold as an arctic wind. In that instant, my wolf thrashed instinctively, wanting to answer its mate's presence, but it was pinned down by some invisible force. Then, just as quickly, he looked away, hurrying toward the pack's healing sanctuary with the woman in his arms. My frail body trembled violently, whether from cold or despair, I couldn't tell. Just as I was about to leave, I heard heavy footsteps behind me. Zander had returned and was walking straight toward me. "Ember," he said, stopping in front of me. His voice was flat. "You're recovered?" He seized my wrist, his grip so tight I thought my bones would shatter. "Do you still remember the ancient purification prayer?" Before I could answer, he was hauling me toward the sanctuary like I was nothing more than prey. "Vivian was cut by a cursed silver blade. The poison is consuming her wolf. Only a cleansing ritual to the Moon Goddess, channeled through our fated bond, can save her." "I don't understand..." Before I could finish, Zander grabbed my shoulders and forced me to my knees before the sanctuary's lunar altar. "You don't need to understand. Just do as you're told." "Start the chant. Now!" I looked at him blankly, unable to recall any such chant. A flicker of impatience crossed his eyes before he grabbed my hand, forcing my wolf to connect with his. A violent pain shot through my entire body. I could feel what little lunar energy I had left being forcibly drained from me, channeled through the ritual and into Vivian. My vision blurred, and I nearly passed out. When the ritual was over, I collapsed before the altar, barely able to stand. "I told you, Ember. Vivian saved you from your own foolishness, despite the lies you've spread about her. You should be thanking her. The least you can do is return the favor." Chapter 2 Before the dizziness even subsided, two guards were dragging me roughly into the Purification Chamber. I could hear the whispers from outside the sanctuary as clearly as if they were standing next to me. "Is that the Alpha's lunatic mate? I heard her wolf was broken in the attack, and now she spouts all that nonsense about someone trying to kill her." "Thank the Goddess for Vivian. Otherwise, that basket case would be our Luna." "She should be on her knees, grateful she finally has a chance to prove she's worth something..." Every word was a silver needle piercing my nerves, but strangely, my wolf didn't react. I lay on the cold bloodstone slab, and through the sanctuary's stained-glass window, I saw Zander kneeling at the main altar. His large hand was clasped around Vivian's delicate one, praying devoutly. And I was just an outsider. The silver ritual knife slid into my vein. A burning sensation spread through my body, but even the pain felt distant, as if shrouded in mist, just like the emotions that should have been destroying me. They had all been washed away by my amnesia. It seemed that forgetting was the Moon Goddess's final mercy. The ritual lasted for a full hour. When the pack healer had finished drawing the precious Alpha-mate blood from my body, I walked out of the chamber, my face ashen, my vision swimming. I leaned against the cold stone wall, gathering my strength before forcing myself to walk to Zander. He was focused on channeling the life force from my blood into Vivian, his amber eyes filled with a tenderness I had never seen. "Alpha," my voice was a whisper. "Can you tell me... where I live?" Zander didn't even look at me. "What game is this? Have you finally gone so mad you've forgotten where you live?" "No, I've lost my memory..." He was silent for a few seconds before reciting an address. "Ember," he said, stopping me. "I'm staying at the sanctuary tonight to watch over Vivian. You... should get some rest." It was one of the few times he'd ever offered me an explanation. Perhaps he felt a sliver of guilt for draining me to save Vivian. "I understand. Thank you." Seeing how calm I was, Zander's eyes flickered with confusion, but he didn't ask any more questions. I had no idea how many times the old me had cried and fought with him over Vivian, but now, none of it mattered to me anymore. I stared at him. I was going to give Zander one last gift. My dear Alpha, this is a gift you will never forget. Settling into the back of the car, I closed my eyes, gathering what little strength I had left. I reached out with my mind, sending a desperate message across the distance—Chloe. I tried to call the name through a mind-link. "Chloe?" A few seconds later, a gentle female voice echoed in my mind. "Ember? Oh, gods, you finally contacted me! Are you all right?" "Chloe, I need you to immediately prepare the materials for the ancient rejection ritual. And a full set of identity documents for the neutral territories in Europe. I'll explain everything else later." There was a long silence on the other end of the link. "Ember, are you sure? Once you perform the rejection ritual, your mate bond with Zander will be severed completely." "I'm sure." "All right, I understand. Give me three days." I stared out the window at the forest rushing by. Every ancient tree had witnessed my humiliation, every leaf was stained with my tears. Amnesia was the Moon Goddess's gift of rebirth—a chance to sever the past completely and find true freedom. "Change of plans," I told the driver. "Take me to the pack's records office." The driver's shocked eyes met mine in the rearview mirror, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. "My Lady, are you sure?" "I'm sure." The process at the records office was smoother than I expected. The clerk, trembling, informed me that the formal papers for my departure would be ready in two weeks. As I got back into the car, I hesitated for a moment. "Don't report today's events to the Alpha." The driver's hands trembled on the wheel. "My Lady... the Alpha has forbidden us from speaking your name in his presence. He says... your very existence is a disgrace to him." I managed a faint smile. That wasn't surprising, was it? Zander despised me so much that my name had become a curse to him. The car stopped in front of a luxurious villa. This was my home with Zander. I pushed open the door. The villa was opulent but cold, devoid of any warmth that would make it a home. In the mating ceremony photo on the wall, my gaze toward Zander was full of adoration, while his smile was so convincing it almost made me believe it was real. I ripped the photo from the wall without a flicker of emotion and tossed it into the fireplace. It didn't deserve to exist. As I was packing in the bedroom, a blood-red leather-bound journal fell to the floor with a dull thud. My name was written on the cover. I opened it to the first page. The very first line was jarring: They haven't given up on me. My escape meant nothing because I still carry the one thing they want: the dormant blood of a Moon Goddess descendant. They're still hunting me, even though I've already escaped. First "accident": The night of the mating ceremony, someone drugged my wine. I nearly jumped from the balcony in a hallucinatory state. Zander said I was mentally unstable and unworthy of being his Luna. 48th "accident": The brake line on my car was cut. It plunged toward a cliff. In that life-or-death moment, I smelled a familiar perfume, but Zander said I was being paranoid. 76th "accident": Silver dust was sprinkled in my food. I was in a coma for three days. When I woke up, I heard Vivian telling a nurse, "It would be better if a waste of space like that just died." 99th "accident": The railing on the rooftop was corroded with a silver compound. I nearly fell to my death. They all said I was trying to kill myself for attention. If I can't find any proof, I'm really going to give up... The last sentence was scrawled in red ink, the handwriting shaky and desperate. "They all want me dead." I closed the diary, my heart pounding. The sealed-off memories slammed against my mind like a floodgate breaking—I had never tried to kill myself. I sank to the floor, wrapping my arms around my trembling body. For three years, I hadn't been a lunatic. I had been prey. Hunted relentlessly by my enemies, and utterly abandoned by the very people I trusted most, I was tortured bit by bit until I was broken. "They all want me dead," I whispered to the moonlit room. "But I'm going to live. I'm going to live a better life than all of them combined." From now on, Ember, you will love yourself. Chapter 3 The next few days passed in the sterile silence of the empty villa. Zander never returned. The amnesia was a strange sort of shield; I felt no ache of loneliness, no pang of abandonment. My wolf was dormant, wrapped in a thick fog, and I thought it wouldn't be so bad to just wait peacefully for my departure papers to be processed. Until my mother's mind-link shattered the silence, piercing my thoughts like a silver needle. "Vivian's coming-of-age ceremony is tomorrow. Seven o'clock, Moon Goddess Sanctuary." "I don't care what state you're in," her voice was ice. "You will be there." "Mother," I said calmly. "Don't you dare call me that," she snapped. "I'm busy. We're done here." The mind-link was severed abruptly, her presence leaving a searing pain in my mind. The ceremony was even grander than I had imagined. The entire hall was decorated with silver laurel wreaths, the pack members were dressed in magnificent gowns, and the air was thick with the scent of vanilla and sandalwood. Vivian was radiant tonight, surrounded by fawning pack members and, by her side, a Zander I hadn't seen in days. I took a sip of blood-wine, my gaze inevitably drawn to Zander. He wore a tailored black suit that hinted at the powerful muscles beneath. A potent Alpha aura rolled off him in waves, a silent declaration of absolute dominance that made the air feel heavy. The mate bond, faint as it was, still tugged at me, making my wolf tremble slightly. Yet this man, a born predator, was currently kneeling before Vivian, his long, powerful hands adjusting the hem of her skirt. The gesture was so gentle it was reverent—a tenderness he had never once shown me. The thought sent a sharp, unwelcome pang through my chest. The Elder's horn sounded, signaling the start of the ceremony. My parents led Vivian to the altar, which was bathed in moonlight. My father stepped forward, his Beta's authority making all the lower-ranking wolves bow their heads. "On this night of the blood moon, I have an important announcement. The guardianship of the Moonspring Oasis... will pass to my daughter, Vivian." The hall erupted in whispers of shock and disbelief. My hand tightened around my wine glass, my knuckles turning white. The Moonspring Oasis—it was our pack's most sacred place, where the Moon Goddess was said to have bestowed her dew. Its waters could heal any wound and strengthen a wolf's spirit. Guardianship meant control over the pack's spiritual heart. Just then, Zander also ascended the altar. He drew an ancient, rune-carved box from his inner pocket. In the moonlight, his fingers were long and strong. He opened it to reveal a silver necklace with a moonstone pendant shaped like a teardrop. "That's the Tear of the Moon Goddess!" someone in the crowd gasped. "The sacred heirloom passed down through generations of Lunas!" "Gods, to give away the Luna's heirloom... is the Alpha publicly setting Ember aside?" "Ember can't be Luna anyway. I heard her wolf is broken. This time she's even forgotten who she is." Zander's fingers brushed against Vivian's skin as he slowly fastened the necklace around her neck, the moonstone coming to rest at the hollow of her collarbone. My wolf let out a silent scream, a violent twitch as if pierced by a silver needle. At the same moment, the Tear of the Moon Goddess lost its original luster. "Alpha, should you be doing this? My sister is your true Luna, after all." Vivian deliberately glanced in my direction, her voice a study in feigned hesitation. "She's the one with the Beta bloodline. You should ask her opinion." Zander didn't look at me. He simply took her hand. "What I give you is yours." My parents also stood by Vivian's side. "Don't you worry, my dearest child. We're here to support you. You don't need to think about anything else." I stood in the middle of the crowd, a lone prey surrounded by a pack of wolves. The picture of their loving family carved away at what little dignity I had left. The stares of the surrounding pack members were like spotlights, leaving me with nowhere to hide, each one a silent declaration of my failure. I could even feel the smug satisfaction rolling off Vivian in waves of pheromones, like a victor flaunting her spoils. I gently set down my glass. As I turned to leave, I heard a pack member mutter: "Look at her. She's completely lost it..." "She's probably going to run off and cry again..." "I wonder what new way she'll find to kill herself this time." If I were the old Ember, I might have burst into tears. My wolf would have howled in agony. But now, I refused to waste my emotions on anything so worthless. I didn't stop, walking straight toward the back hall of the sanctuary. The reflection in the mirror showed a pale face with clear eyes. Not a single tear had fallen. Because I had already forgotten everything. I had forgotten how desperately I once craved the Alpha's mark, forgotten how I had willingly trembled and submitted under his Alpha's command, forgotten how I had cast aside all my pride for a single glance from him. The family I once loved, the mate who was once my entire world—now they meant less to me than strangers. All I had to do now was wait quietly for my transfer papers and get away from this place suffocating with Alpha authority. I took a deep breath, straightened my robes, and prepared to return to the main hall to grab my cloak and leave. But as soon as I stepped back into the sanctuary, Vivian was walking toward me, her face a mask of false sympathy. "Sister, are you all right?" Her voice was pure honey laced with poison. "I know a night like this must be so painful for... a broken thing like you." She moved closer, her hand shooting out to grab my wrist, her nails digging into my skin. "But you have to understand, the weak are always culled. That is the law of the wolves." I took a step back, instinctively recoiling from her touch. "Don't touch me." "Sister, you..." A flicker of murderous intent flashed in her wolfish eyes, but it was quickly replaced by a look of wounded fragility. Then, she suddenly stumbled, throwing herself backward. "Ah!" She let out a piercing scream as she fell onto the bloodstone floor. The Tear of the Moon Goddess shattered, scattering across the ground as silver-tinged beads of blood splattered everywhere. "Sister... why would you do that?" Vivian's eyes welled with tears as she stared at the shattered pieces. "You... you pushed me. You broke the heirloom... on purpose!" The hall fell silent. Every wolf's gaze was fixed on me. "I didn't push her," I said calmly. CRACK— A sharp slap echoed through the hall. "Still lying!" my father roared, his voice shaking the sanctuary. "Ember! Can you not cause trouble for one single day?!" My cheek burned. Before I could even react, my mother was screeching, "Guards! Seize her!" I was slammed onto the cold bloodstone floor. The sound of my dress tearing was obscene in the silence. Sharp claws dug into my skin, and I felt warm blood spill across the cold stone of the altar. The sound of heavy footsteps approached, carrying the weight of death. Zander stood over me, looking down at me from his great height. "Who do you think you are? What makes you think you can destroy a sacred relic? What right do you have to harm your sister?" His voice wasn't loud, but it filled me with a sudden, chilling fear. "I never acknowledged you as my Luna. Don't you understand that?" I looked up, meeting his amber eyes. There was no warmth in them, only the innate cruelty and disdain of an Alpha. Or perhaps, that was only how he looked at me. "Ember," he breathed my name with a sneer. "Some positions will never belong to you. No matter what you do, you can't change that." He leaned down, his scent of musk and cedarwood nearly suffocating me. My dormant wolf twitched in agony. And then I smiled. The smile made Zander's pupils contract slightly. Perhaps he was so used to my hysterical breakdowns and my pathetic pleas that my calm, liberated, mocking smile threw him off balance. This was not the Ember he could control. "I didn't push her," I said, my voice low and clear, meant only for him. "Believe it or not." My voice was unnervingly clear in the silent sanctuary. Moonlight spilled over my bare shoulder, casting flecks of light in my eyes. "And another thing—" I took a deep breath, and my voice rang out with chilling clarity. "I, Ember of the Crescent Moon Pack, formally and completely reject you, Alpha Zander. Our bond is hereby broken." As the words fell, the hall was plunged into a dead silence. Every wolf stared, wide-eyed, their breathing stopped. A useless Luna, daring to reject an Alpha? The same Ember who had sacrificed every shred of her dignity just to receive his mark was now rejecting him? The air filled with shock, disbelief, and a suppressed excitement. They all wanted to see how this drama would play out. A sharp pain, like a needle through my heart, shot through me. The agony of a severing mate bond was instantaneous. Zander, standing before me, his robes glowing coldly in the moonlight, frowned at the exact same moment I did. For a fleeting second, I wondered if he, too, could feel the pain of our bond breaking. But he quickly composed himself and leaned down to whisper in my ear. "You've played this little game of push-and-pull one too many times. Do you really think this will work on me?" "I've told you, your tantrums are useless." He shot a hand out and grabbed my chin, forcing my head up. His eyes became possessive, dominant, a look that could shatter a lesser wolf's will. "Stop the act," his hot breath ghosted over the sensitive skin of my neck, his voice a low growl rumbling deep in his chest. "You know you can't resist me." Chapter 4 As he spoke, the pack members in the sanctuary finally snapped out of their shock. "See? I knew it. She's just putting on a show. There's no way that lunatic would actually reject the Alpha." "Of course not. Her wolf is practically useless. She can't survive without the Alpha's mark." "Look at her. She's about to have another one of her episodes..." Every word was laced with malice, every wolf waiting for me to make a fool of myself. Countless needles of scorn pricked at me. Just like all the times before, not a single wolf believed me. My dormant wolf struggled in agony, wanting to fight back, but it was powerless. I clenched my fists. Beneath my torn sleeve, the old scars on my wrist gleamed silver in the moonlight. I opened my mouth, wanting to prove this wasn't a game, that this time, I was determined to reject him for good. But my father's Beta authority exploded like a thunderclap, forcing every lower-ranking wolf in the sanctuary to their knees. "Guards, throw her in the silver cells! Let the silver cleanse the rot from her very soul!" The silver cells—a hell reserved for traitors. He didn't care one bit about his own daughter's dignity, or even her life. "I didn't push her..." My voice trembled as I repeated the words, but no one was listening. Two guards rushed forward and grabbed my arms. I instinctively tried to back away, but a rough hand seized the back of my neck. "No... let go..." I thrashed, my nails digging bloody gouges into a guard's arm, but my desperate struggle was cut short as a silver-laced baton slammed into the back of my head. Silver poison flooded my nervous system, and the searing pain blurred my vision. In the last moment before darkness took me, I saw Zander approach. He waved the guards away. For one insane second, a spark of hope flared—he was going to help me. But then he held out his hand, not to me, but to the guard. "Give me the key," his voice was ice. "I'll lock her in there myself." That tiny, foolish spark of hope was instantly extinguished. It was laughable that even now, I could still hold on to such a fantasy. I should have known long ago that to him, my pain was nothing more than an irrelevant, tiresome show. When I woke up, a hellish agony consumed me. I was lying on a cold stone slab. The walls around me were covered in ancient silver runes that slowly leeched into my body. Every breath was like swallowing shattered glass. Silver dust floated in the air, seeping into my lungs. My wolf howled in despair, but I couldn't make a sound. My skin began to blister, and the blood in my veins grew thick and sluggish, as if it were freezing solid. I can't... die here... I gritted my teeth, using my last ounce of strength to drag my body toward the heavy silver door. My fingers were charred black, my nails peeling away from the raw flesh beneath. A trail of blood and pus marked my agonizing path. But I kept knocking. Once. Then again. "Help... me..." My voice was a hoarse rasp, like the death rattle of a wild animal. But outside the door, there was only silence. After what felt like an eternity, I heard a familiar voice. "Sister, are you all right?" "How pitiful." It was Vivian's triumphant voice. "I brought you some tea," she said, crouching down in front of me. "With honey. It used to be your favorite." "I've lost my memory. I don't remember what I like." "That's right," she smiled. "You've forgotten everything. Isn't that wonderful?" Her voice was as sweet as ever, but it sent a shiver down my spine. "Sister, do you know what's happening outside? Everyone is celebrating my nomination as the new Luna candidate." I bit my lip, the taste of blood flooding my mouth. Her tone suddenly turned vicious. "Do you know what today is?" she asked, setting the teacup on the floor. "Three years ago today, you were rescued. It's a shame, really. No one else seems to remember that... unfortunate day you were returned to us." I watched her, still silent. "Do you know how happy I was when you were kidnapped?" Her eyes shone with a manic light. "I'll let you in on a little secret. It's a pity, really. You missed all the fun I had planned for you with the Blood Fangs." "But you just had to come back." She stood up, looking down at me. "But this is better, I suppose. Now, in everyone's eyes, you're just a lunatic." She hadn't planned on letting me come back... She had arranged the fun... So even that, all of it, was tied to Vivian. My mind roared with a sudden, explosive pain. I tried to stand, but my legs were weak. I couldn't make a sound. "What good is a bloodline? What good is status? Don't you see? The purification rite, the blood you gave me—it's all mine now. Your precious Moon Goddess blood has been transferred to me, and you're nothing but an empty vessel, a husk. In the end, I still get to climb to the throne over your corpse, don't I?" "Don't worry," she purred. "Soon, my mission here will be complete." I wanted to grab her arm, to demand an answer for everything, but just then, her communicator chimed. She deliberately put it on speaker so I could hear every word. "Vivian? How are you feeling?" It was Zander's voice. "Zander..." Vivian's voice instantly became frail and helpless. "It hurts so much... the silver poison is still in my system..." "Wait for me. I'm coming back right now." The connection cut out, and the silver cell was plunged back into silence. I lay limp on the floor, the light of the silver runes illuminating my paper-white face. Fragments of sealed memories began to flash through my mind. I saw myself being dragged into the dark dungeons of the Blood Fang Pack, their claws leaving scars on my body that would never heal. I saw them chain my limbs with silver, forcing me to kneel like the most wretched slave. I saw them brand my back with a mark of humiliation, a scar that still ached to this day. Years of inhuman torture, forced to crawl before them, to lick their boots, to endure humiliation after humiliation. And when I finally fought my way back to my pack, the look in Zander's eyes wasn't sympathy. It was disgust. He was repulsed by my defiled body, by my shattered wolf, by the neurotic fear that had become a part of me. I saw him hold a grand ceremony for Vivian's wolf awakening, personally anointing her with the Moon Goddess's blessing. I saw him dance with her under the full moon, as if she were his true fated mate. I saw him gently stroke her cheek, the smile in his eyes as warm as a spring thaw. And me? I could only hide in the shadows, watching as everything that should have been mine was stolen, one by one, by the very person who had orchestrated my downfall. The silver poison ate at my bloodline, killing my wolf piece by agonizing piece. But a strange thing happened. As my wolf died, so did the crushing weight of my emotions. The pain, the love, the despair—it all began to cool. All of it was being purified into ash by the silver poison. I held up my hand and watched as a faint green flame flickered at my fingertips. It was the sign of a wolf's essence burning away completely. "Good," I let out a soft laugh, the sound echoing in the empty cell. "Burn. Burn it all away." "And take this pathetic love with you." Chapter 5 In a haze of consciousness, I heard footsteps. Not Vivian's light tread, but a steady, powerful rhythm. "Luna." A man's voice, low and unfamiliar, came from outside the cell. I struggled to open my eyes and saw a folded piece of paper slide under the door. "The Elder asked me to give you a message—a phoenix must be reborn from the ashes." The footsteps quickly faded. I trembled as I crawled toward the paper. Unfolding it, I saw it was a secret letter, handwritten by Elder Grayson himself: Ember, the power of the bloodline within you is far greater than you imagine. The Moon Goddess's gift would not be wasted on a mere mortal. While the silver poison tortures your wolf, it is also purifying the impurities from your soul. When you walk out of this place, you will be truly reborn. Remember, you are not some abandoned stray. You are a warrior forged in the Goddess's own fire. I clutched the paper, the despair in my eyes slowly being replaced by a steely resolve. You have to live, Ember. You have to make every single one of them pay. I don't know how long passed before the door to the silver cell was thrown open. Zander stood in the doorway, his silhouette tall and imposing. I couldn't make out the expression on his face. "One minute you're playing the martyr in a silver cell, the next you're running to an Elder for pity. What is your game, Ember?" There were a thousand things I wanted to say, a thousand explanations I wanted to give, but suddenly, it all felt pointless. Meeting his mocking gaze, I kept my voice low. "It wasn't intentional. The silver affects my wolf." "Unstable?" Zander sneered. "I thought you had amnesia. Shouldn't you be telling me you don't even know who you are?" He was right. I really couldn't remember anything. I couldn't remember the girl who was tortured to the brink of death in the Blood Fang dungeons. I couldn't remember the humiliating nights spent chained in silver, forced to beg for mercy. I couldn't remember returning to the pack, covered in scars, my wolf broken, and still offering myself humbly to this Alpha. I couldn't remember how, for three long years, my shattered wolf had sensed his tenderness for another, how my broken heart had endured his cold rejections, again and again. But I didn't say a word of it. The irony was, even with amnesia, my love for him hadn't been completely severed. His pheromones could still make me feel like I was suffocating. I couldn't imagine how the girl who clawed her way back from hell, only to fly to him like a moth to a flame, had endured that suffocation for three long years. She knew despair better than anyone, yet she still chose love. But the woman I was now just wanted to escape. "Do you think a little pity from Grayson will change anything?" His pheromones washed over me, heavy with an Alpha's authority. "Don't forget, I am the Alpha of this pack." Silver laurel leaves drifted past the window. I suddenly remembered the last line in my diary: If one day I no longer love you, it can only be because my heart has died. Thinking back now, the Ember who wrote that line had probably died long ago, in the countless nights she was ignored, in the helpless agony of being called a "lunatic." Three years of being mated, and the number of days he had spent by my side could be counted on one hand. I was used to it. I simply waited in silence for my departure papers to be approved. During those days, Vivian's social media feed was a parade of their happiness—the northern snowfields, a moonlit ancient castle, a secret hot spring... In every photo, the tenderness in Zander's eyes was a blade twisting in a wound I no longer felt. The caption read: He promised to show me the world. I calmly closed the feed, as if I were looking at a stranger's life. Three days later, Chloe's mind-link finally came. A travel pass for the neutral territories, documents for my new identity, and an ancient parchment contract for the formal severing of a mate bond. Without a moment's hesitation, I signed my name. A drop of my blood fell onto the parchment and was instantly absorbed. An ancient magic began to stir, and the contract gave off a faint silver glow. Back at the villa, I sealed everything in a manila envelope and handed it to Marcus, Zander's Beta. "Get this to your Alpha for me." Marcus didn't look closely or ask any questions. He just nodded and took it. "Of course. I'll deliver it right now." I took out my communicator and sent one last mind-link to Zander. "Goodbye, Zander. From this moment on, we are nothing to each other." "By the way, I left something for you with Marcus. Make sure you look at it." His reply came quickly, his tone as dismissive as ever. "Stop playing these childish games, Ember. I don't have time for your theatrics. Come back when you're done throwing your tantrum." I shook my head and a dry, humorless laugh escaped my lips. It didn't matter. He would find out soon enough. A car was already waiting for me at the end of the road. I got in, took a deep breath, and headed for the neutral territories. Through the car window, I watched the lights of the Crescent Moon Pack fade into the distance. The driver glanced at me in the rearview mirror. "My Lady? Are you sure? One last look?" "There's nothing left for me to see," I said, closing my eyes and leaning back against the seat. Goodbye, Mother and Father. Goodbye, Zander and Vivian. Goodbye to the weak, humiliated girl I used to be, and to all the pain of my past. "The only way I'm going is forward."