My Perfect Grades Came From Mom's Murder

The day I get into Harton University, one of the top colleges in the country, everyone in town is proud of me. "Lindsay, you wouldn't be where you are today without your mom!" "Your dad is gone, and your mom had to raise you all by herself. It couldn't have been easy!" "We've all seen how much she's done for you over the years. Good deeds really do get rewarded." Mom smiles and tells me to get a bottle of good liquor from the cellar for everyone. I go down there, but instead of finding the liquor, I uncover a merit ledger hidden amongst the bottles. It is written in Mom's neat handwriting. "May 17. I deliberately poisoned our neighbor, Mr. Lowe, and killed him to gain blessings for my daughter's studies and help her become the top student in the country." Chapter 1 My head suddenly started pounding. My hand went slack, and the merit ledger fell to the floor. "You still haven't found it?" My mom, Susan Lane, called from outside. "Any bottle will do. Your uncle and the others are eager for a drink." I hurriedly picked up the ledger, shoved it back in between the bottles, and carried a bottle of liquor outside. By the time I returned to the yard, everyone was already a little drunk. "Lindsay has always been a smart kid!" My uncle, Benny Stone, said. His face was bright red, and he slurred when he spoke. "I always said our town would produce a top student one day!" "Exactly!" Our neighbor, Martha Greene, chimed in with a smile. "Susan has had it so hard all these years. Now her hard work has finally paid off!" Mom smiled and shook her head. "She did it all herself. I wasn't of much help." What everyone said was true. My dad died in an accident when I was three years old, and Mom raised me all by herself. However, I couldn't stop thinking about the merit ledger I had just found. I remembered getting a terrible fever when I was six years old. My temperature reached 104 degrees and wouldn't come down. Then Mom suddenly ran out into the pouring rain and didn't come home until midnight. The next day, my fever was finally gone, and I suddenly felt much smarter. From then on, it was like something clicked. My grades shot up, and I was always at the top of my class. Could it be just like the ledger said? Had Mom killed someone to gain blessings for me? But as far as I could recall, Mom had always been a frail woman who couldn't even handle farm work. How could she have killed someone? "What are you staring into space for?" Mom interrupted my thoughts and gently put a bowl of beef stew in front of me. "It's your favorite, so have some more. You're leaving for college soon. I don't know if you'll be able to take care of yourself." I lowered my head and shoveled down my food, afraid to look at Mom again. Maybe the cellar had been too dark, and I had misread it. The celebrations lasted until evening. People gradually started heading home after the sun went down. I went back to my room and started packing, planning to leave that night. I didn't care whether that merit ledger was real anymore. I just wanted to leave and start my new life. Around midnight, I quietly took my acceptance letter and headed for the edge of town. But once I got there, my legs suddenly felt bound. I couldn't take another step! It felt like something was gripping my ankles from below, keeping me from moving. Sweat trickled down my back. The moonlight was pale, and only one thought filled my mind. Was that merit ledger keeping me trapped in town? Chapter 2 I tried again, but no matter what I did, I couldn't leave town. The cold night air made me shiver and helped clear my mind. If I was trapped here, I had to find out why. Otherwise, my whole life would be ruined. I gathered my courage, went back into the cellar, and found the merit ledger. I took a deep breath and opened the first page. "April 7. I'm pregnant with this child. She is destined for great academic success, but she's bound to face major hardship. She needs blessings to get through it and succeed in school." I turned a few more pages. "August 3. I caused a car accident on purpose and killed our neighbor, Mrs. Shaw, to trade her life for Lindsay's health." As I stared at those words, I suddenly remembered something. When I was eight years old, I became seriously ill. The doctors said there was nothing they could do. But three months later, I miraculously survived. I kept turning the pages, growing more horrified with every entry. Every record matched something that had happened to me. The early admission, scholarships, and advantages I gained from winning academic competitions were things I thought I had earned through my own hard work. In reality, they had all been paid for with human lives! I turned more pages, but the page numbering suddenly jumped. Several pages had been torn out. That meant Mom had killed far more people than these. When I reached the last page, a line of red writing caught my eye. "Anyone who receives these blessings must repay the debt within 49 days. Otherwise, they will suffer the consequences." My hands started shaking uncontrollably. Was this why I couldn't leave town? How was I supposed to repay all these blessings? If I suffered the consequences, would I still be able to go to college? As dawn approached, I was afraid someone would find me, so I quickly took pictures of every page with my phone and quietly went back to my room. I lay in bed, unable to sleep. My mind was a mess. One moment, I pictured Mom's gentle smile. In the next, I imagined her killing someone. Half asleep, I suddenly heard someone calling me from outside. "Lindsay! Are you home?" It was Walter Shaw, Carla Wright's son. "Come on. Come have a meal at my place. I've got to celebrate with you." Walter gave me a warm, eager smile. Without thinking, I almost refused, but I changed my mind at the last second. I remembered that Mom's merit ledger had mentioned Carla's accident. Maybe I could learn something from Walter. "Okay. Let me change, and I'll be right there," I replied. A little while later, Walter and I sat across from each other at the dining table. "You really are the pride of our town!" he said excitedly. "If Mom were still here, she'd be so happy for you." "Mrs. Shaw…" I hesitated. "What exactly happened to her?" Walter's expression darkened. "A drunk driver hit her from behind. I still have his statement." I found myself looking at the sheet of paper covered in the driver's statement. The driver said he never drank. For some reason, he had gotten drunk that day without knowing why. Walter didn't notice my reaction and continued talking. "Oh, Susan helped us a lot back then. She even paid the medical bills for us. She's such a kind lady. I've never met anyone so willing to help." I thought about it. The more I did, the stranger it seemed. The driver never drank, yet he drove drunk. Mom barely had any money, yet she was willing to pay Carla's medical bills. While I was lost in thought, I blurted out, "Walter, have you ever heard of killing someone to earn blessings?" Walter froze for a moment, then doubled over laughing. "Lindsay, did studying for college fry your brain? Where did you hear that? How could killing someone ever earn blessings? It would only bring retribution!" "I saw it written on a merit ledger." I reached for my phone, wanting to show him the pictures. But the moment I opened my photo album, my heart sank. Every picture I had just taken was gone! Chapter 3 I thought I had made a mistake, so I checked several more times. The photos were still gone, as if they had never existed. My head suddenly started pounding again. It felt like it was about to split open. "Walter, I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling well. I need to go!" I said. I went to the clinic at the edge of town and got some painkillers. They barely eased the pain. Once I calmed down, I suddenly remembered that my phone password was my birthday. Only Mom and I knew the password. Had Mom deleted those pictures? Was she secretly trying to stop me from investigating? I headed home. Before I even got close, I saw Mom standing before the crucifix in the living room, quietly muttering to herself. I silently slipped over to the doorway and listened in. "God, if someone has to pay for this, let it be me. Everything I've done all these years has been for Lindsay and this family." Mom's voice was hoarse, as if she had been crying for a long time. "Mr. Lowe used to take advantage of me all the time. I was raising a child alone, and he kept showing up at my door. "Mrs. Shaw cheated me out of my wages and left me with barely enough to eat. "I hated them, but there was nothing I could do. I had to endure it all for Lindsay. "I went to the doctor. He said I needed to find a way to let out all the anger I was carrying." She paused, then continued, "After that, I started writing down all my anger in the merit ledger. Once I had written it down, it felt like I had really gotten back at them, and I felt better. "But I never thought they would actually die! God, if what I wrote caused their deaths, I'll accept whatever punishment comes my way. "But I really never killed anyone. Please don't punish Lindsay for this. She doesn't know anything." I stood outside the door, stunned. I never expected this. The words in the merit ledger weren't records of murder after all. They were simply the strongest form of protest and release a fragile woman like Mom could manage. My eyes suddenly stung. I thought I knew how much Mom had suffered over the years. Now I realized I had only understood part of it. She had carried all that pain alone, and what had I done? I had suspected her of being a murderer. After Mom was done crying, she left again. She seemed to be going to talk to the town mayor about my tuition fees. While she was gone, I went into her bedroom and found a medical report under her pillow. The words on the page suddenly hit me hard. "Diagnosis: Moderate depression. Recommendation: Take medication and find healthy ways to release negative emotions." The date was July 2014. I had just won third place in a math competition. I was so happy, but I had no idea Mom was going through this kind of pain. Suddenly, I felt terrible about it. I left Mom's room, thinking I'd apologize as soon as she came back. Just then, my phone buzzed in my pocket. A notification popped up on the screen. "Photos restored." I remembered that I'd had the backup feature turned on, so the photos had been restored automatically. But the moment I saw the pictures, I froze. The dates written in the merit ledger were 2008 and 2010. Mom hadn't even seen a doctor yet, but she had already started writing in the ledger. So her confession earlier had all been a lie! Chapter 4 The sky was dark with storm clouds when I found Mom on the mountain. She was wearing an old coat, her hair tousled by the wind, and she had a bundle of branches in her arms. "Mom, it looks like it's going to rain. Let's go home," I called out. Mom turned and saw me. A flash of happiness crossed her eyes. "Lindsay, what are you doing here? I need to gather more firewood. You love food cooked over a wood fire, and you won't get to eat it once you move to the city." I studied her. Her hair had already turned gray at the temples, and her face was covered in wrinkles. I knew she had spent all these years doing everything she could for me. Yet I couldn't get the words in the merit ledger out of my mind. After hesitating for a long while, I finally asked, "Mom, what was that merit ledger really about?" The branches fell from Mom's arms. She looked at me in silence. After a long pause, she asked, "Does it matter?" "It matters! Of course it does!" I practically screamed. "I need to know which parts of my life I earned through my own hard work and which ones came from you killing people for me! I don't want to live off any of that. And I don't want to be tied to you for the rest of my life." I sniffled and felt tears stinging my eyes. "Besides, I'm going to suffer the consequences," I said. "Mom, are you really going to stand by and watch me die?" The wind on the mountain howled around us, but Mom's expression slowly grew calm. "If you really want to know, then come with me," she said. She turned and walked deeper into the mountains. I followed behind her, stepping over loose stones as we went down a path I had never seen before. The clouds overhead hung lower and lower, as if rain could start at any moment. After about 15 minutes, a run-down chapel suddenly appeared ahead. For some reason, the closer I got to the building, the worse my headache became. Every step closer made the pain worse. Mom stopped and sighed. "You can still turn back. Go home, burn the merit ledger, and forget everything that happened today. Go on with your life." I gritted my teeth. "No. I still have to deal with the consequences. I need to know the truth!" Mom didn't answer. She reached out and pushed open the crooked wooden door. The chapel was dark and covered in cobwebs. An old statue stood in the shrine. The moment I looked at the statue, a sudden realization hit me. In that instant, I understood everything!