Damn, Those Shrooms Got Me Good

I've been back at the Levine residence for four months. The whole time I have been back, I'm like an invisible person whose existence is barely acknowledged. One day, I wake up and suddenly start seeing everyone's health bars above everyone's heads. The first thing I see when I open my eyes is a frog's face. I jump in fright and slap it across the face. Then, I hear my younger brother, Jacob Levine, roar furiously, "Ruthie, what the hell is wrong with you? I came to tell you breakfast is ready. Why did you hit me?" I stare blankly at the frog. The frog is glaring at me furiously. The health bar above its head has dropped by a chunk, and it looks like it's about to leap up and hit me. I rub my eyes. When I open them again, it's still the same frog face. Its mouth opens and closes as it curses at me in my brother's voice. I stare at him for three seconds before saying, "Uh… There was a mosquito on your face." The frog's face turns even greener with rage as it rages, "You kill a mosquito by giving people a slap to their faces?" I don't answer. Over his shoulder, I see Lorraine Neal standing in the doorway. She has a hideous, demonic face and protruding fangs. The health bar above her head is even shorter. My "kind and adorable" adopted sister, Thalia Levine, is peeking out from behind Lorraine. Live snakes are coiling around her neck. They're sticking their tongues out at me and hissing. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and open them again. Everything is still there. I sit on the bed, clutching the blanket, with only one thought running through my mind. I'm screwed… I think I've gone insane. Chapter 1 My name was Ruthie Winslet. I had been kidnapped when I was three years old and spent the next 15 years growing up in a welfare home before I was finally found. The Levine family spent three months confirming that I was their biological daughter. At long last, they sent a driver to pick me up from the welfare home. After spending four months with them, my biggest thought was that I would have been better off never coming back. Lorraine Neal was my birth mother. The first thing she said when we met was, "You've grown so much." The second thing she said was, "Thally is two years younger than you. As her older sister, you should give in to her." Jacob Levine was my younger brother. He was 15 years old, precisely the age when one was most rebellious and unruly. On my very first day, he rummaged through my suitcase and said everything I wore was garbage. Thalia Levine was the adopted daughter. On the day I came back, she linked her arm through mine and called my name fondly. Then, she secretly made my life difficult whenever she got the chance. At first, I tried to be sensible. But I soon noticed that Thalia's plate was always filled first, while the plate placed in front of me was always bare. The best dishes were always set on her side of the table. On my first day home, the housekeeper, Emma Sanders, gave me disposable plates and cutlery. I lived in the room at the very end of the second floor. It didn't have a closet, but at least I had a bed of my own. I naively thought they were treating me well until Thalia asked in feigned surprise why my room didn't have a walk-in closet, a small couch, or a TV. That was when I realized that the room I was staying in was just a guest room. Dwayne Shaw was my fiance. My family and his had arranged our engagement before I went missing. But every time he came to visit, he only talked to Thalia. Then, before leaving, he would toss me a box of chocolates. Yesterday was my birthday. The whole family had dressed up in formalwear and gone to some charity gala. The house help had the evening off, too. By the time I woke up, no one was home. I starved until it was evening. There was nothing in the refrigerator except a few vegetables. I didn't dare turn on the lights. At the welfare home, the director would smack us for wasting electricity. But I was too hungry. So, I felt my way around in the dark. I washed and chopped the vegetables, then fumbled around trying to sauté them. When the smell of food finally filled the kitchen, I scooped everything onto a plate. I wolfed it down, and for one brief moment, warmth spread through my stomach. Then, my eyelids grew so heavy I could barely keep them open. I made my way back to my room groggily and fell asleep. When I opened my eyes again, I was greeted by an enraged frog, a demon, and a snake lady. I sat on the bed clutching my blanket, and only one thought kept running through my mind. Was I dead? This had to be hell. Chapter 2 Even if this was hell, shouldn't the creatures here at least look decent? Half an hour later, I sat at the dining table. As I stared at the tableful of monsters, I was lost in thought. If this was hell, then the King of Hell had terrible taste in decor. The crystal chandelier looked like it hadn't been cleaned in 800 years. There were sauce stains on the tablecloth that I'd no idea who had left behind. The edges of the plates were chipped, too. I looked at the maid who brought over the soup. The health bar above her head was so short it looked like a phone with only 1% battery left. Her face was crooked, so one side looked higher than the other. Fish scales covered the back of her hand, and when she held the bowl, I saw the green grime beneath her fingernails. I stared at the bowl of soup and quietly put down my spoon. "Why aren't you eating, Ruthie?" Thalia asked, sitting across from me. The three snakes around her neck were all raising their heads, hissing as they flicked their tongues. Their eerie green eyes were fixed on me. She continued, "We had the kitchen make this just for you. You didn't get to celebrate your birthday yesterday, so we're making it up to you today." I looked up at the three snakes. Then, I looked down at the soup. There were parsley flakes floating on the surface, and the color of the soup seemed normal and pretty appetizing. It looked quite normal. But I couldn't be sure that those three snakes wouldn't suddenly slither into my bowl of soup. "Whatever. It's fine," I responded, pushing the bowl a little farther away. Lorraine leaned closer. A greasy sheen glistened on the tips of her fangs. She said, "Rue, you've been acting strange since you got up this morning. Your face is so pale." "I think I'm sick." I was telling the truth. If I saw everyone as monsters, there had to be something wrong with me. As soon as I finished speaking, someone walked in through the door. He nodded at Lorraine first and greeted her politely. Then, he smiled at Thalia before finally looking at me. My stomach churned. Could I even call that being a person? In my eyes, a pig had suddenly barged into the room. It had a pink snout, two dark nostrils opening and closing as they puffed out hot air. Its ears stuck straight up, and a strand of sticky drool was hanging from the corner of its mouth. It came over and sat down beside me. The pig mouth opened and closed. "Well, you look pretty awful. Are you pretending to be sick?" I said nothing because I was afraid I'd throw up if I opened my mouth. When Dwayne didn't get an answer from me, his smile grew even wider. The pig's head moved closer to me. Hot breath blew from its nostrils onto my face. It carried an indescribably foul and gamey smell. "Ruthie, I've seen plenty of your tricks. You just want attention, don't you? I'm a doctor. I can tell at a glance whether you're really sick or faking it." The pig's mouth stretched into a grin, revealing two rows of yellow teeth. A pig hoof… No, a hand reached toward my shoulder. That was the hay that broke the camel's back—something in me snapped. "Have you ever looked in a mirror?" I asked, disgusted. The pig froze. I stared at his pink, greasy face with those nostrils opening and closing as they blasted hot air. Without holding back, I said exactly what I was thinking, word for word, "You look like a rotten tomato that got run over by a tractor three times and then stepped on by a pig. Looking at your face makes me want to throw up." The dining room fell completely silent. The pig's face flushed until it took on a brownish red shade. Chapter 3 The pig-headed man stood there with his mouth hanging open for three full seconds before he suddenly shot to his feet. The chair legs screeched against the floor. "What did you say?" Dwayne roared. He slammed his hoof onto the table, rattling the bowls and plates. His nostrils flared as wide as they could. The hot air blasted out so hard it hit me square in the face. The health bar above his head kept dropping with sharp little clicks, turning from red to black, like he was a phone about to shut itself off. I went on, "I said you're ugly. You're ugly on the outside and on the inside. You have a pig's face and a greedy heart. It's a perfect match, honestly." The pig-headed man trembled with rage, his ears sticking straight up and shaking wildly. "I dare you to say that again!" "I can say it ten more times. You—" "Ruthie!" Thalia cried, hurriedly standing up. Her snake tail whipped behind her as she swayed over to stand between us, reaching out to pull me back. She said, "Dwayne is a doctor. He's just harsh with his words, but he cares about you. Don't..." The moment she moved closer, I finally got a clear look at her. I hadn't dared look at her properly before. I'd been too busy avoiding the three snakes. Now that she was standing close, I could see that her cheeks were covered with countless tiny scales. They were bluish-gray, and their edges glinted with a cold light. They stretched all the way to her ears and neck. And that long, silky black hair of hers was actually three snakes. Each was as thick as a person's wrist, and they were coiled around the top of her head. The snakes' heads were facing me, hissing and flicking their tongues. Each tongue darted in and out, almost touching the tip of my nose. I took half a step back and said, "Don't come any closer." Thalia froze. "What?" I complained, "Don't you know you have scales all over your face?" The words slipped out before I could stop them. "And your hair is made of snakes. When you came over, those three snakes almost bit me. I..." Thalia's lips trembled, and her eyes turned red instantly. Huge drops of tears rolled down her cheeks, one after another, splattering onto a flower motif on the tablecloth. She buried her face in her hands, and her shoulders trembled. Lorraine slammed her fork onto the table and scolded, "Ruthie, you've gone too far! Thally was only trying to stop the fight. How could you—" I blurted, "You're even scarier!" "Enough," a voice came from the entrance to the dining room. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table immediately fell silent. I turned my head and saw a man standing in the doorway. Wearing the most basic white shirt, he stood just outside the reach of the chandelier's light. Even so, I could see a soft golden glow surrounding him. It was like the last ray of sunlight lingering along the horizon after sunset. His eyelashes were long and sparkling with tiny flecks of light in the golden glow. He had a tall, straight nose, and his lips were slightly pursed. The health bar above his head was a brilliant gold. It was so full it looked ready to overflow. He was the only person in the entire room who had a human face—the only one. I shoved my chair aside and rushed toward him, covering the distance in three quick steps before stopping right in front of him. I tilted my head back and stared. He looked down at me and raised an eyebrow. My eyes lit up as I asked, "Who are you? Are you an angel? This isn't actually hell, is it? It's heaven, right?" The corner of his mouth twitched. "I'm Chester Shaw." "Who's Chester?" "Dwayne's older brother." I looked back at the pig head still huffing and puffing at the table, then turned back to the handsome face glowing softly in front of me. "You two don't look like family at all," I said with complete seriousness. "You're ten thousand times more handsome than that ugly monster." A furious roar came from behind me. Chester's hand paused around the glass of water. He lowered his eyes to look at me, and the corners of his lips lifted slightly. "Why do you think this is heaven?" "Because you're handsome," I said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Thalia had stopped crying by then. She came around behind me and put on a soft, delicate voice as she addressed him, "Chester." Tears still clung to the corners of her eyes as she leaned toward me with a fragile expression. I immediately dodged sideways with an exaggerated little twist. Thalia lost her balance and fell straight to the floor. The pig-headed man charged at me, trying to shove me. I quickly sidestepped and tripped him. This time, both of them ended up sprawled on the floor. Chapter 4 "Are you mentally unwell?" Behind me, Jacob, who had been silent ever since getting slapped first thing in the morning, finally couldn't take it anymore. I said bluntly, "I'm afraid of snakes, and I'm afraid of pigs." Thalia lay on the floor crying, the snake heads drooping from her hair, their hissing noticeably weaker. Dwayne was sprawled on his back, flailing all four of his limbs three times before finally managing to get up. He looked just like a slaughtered pig lying helplessly on its back. I stared at the sight of the snake lady and pig tangled together on the floor. Then, my stomach churned again. Lorraine's demonic face came closer. "Ruthie! Why did you push Thally?" I took a step back and said, "I didn't push her. She lost her balance herself. I just dodged the snakes, and she fell." Lorraine shrieked, "How dare you still argue? Snakes? What snakes? Where are they? What kind of nonsense are you talking about?" Another face came closer. I turned around and saw a man with a pig's head. He slammed his hand on the table and shouted at me, "Ruthie, what kind of attitude is that? That's your mother!" I stared at him for two seconds, mentally comparing that face with the photograph I'd seen in the family album. "Who are you?" "I'm your father!" "My father is a pig?" Harold Levine's pig face instantly turned deep purple. His nostrils blasted out thick, rapid breaths. He opened his mouth but couldn't say anything for a long moment. His hooves pounded against the table with loud thuds. "You… You…" "Don't point your hoof at me. It looks just like a ham." Another person appeared at the entrance to the dining room. Well, I assumed it was a person, even though I saw a black goat. "There's a goat in this family too?" I muttered. The goat froze and asked, "Are you calling me a goat?" "I didn't call you a goat. You are a goat," I explained innocently while pointing at his head. I added, "Look at yourself. Black fur, two pairs of curved horns, and a tuft of hair on your chin... Oh, wait. That's your chin hair. Sorry, I got that wrong." The goat's face contorted, and the tips of his horns nearly poked the chandelier. Furious, he kicked the doorframe. "Has something gone wrong with your brain?" Lorraine hurriedly grabbed him. "Jack, don't get angry. She's gone crazy today. Don't take it personally…" "I'm not crazy." I took another half step back until my spine touched Chester's elbow. He suddenly asked, "What do you think I look like?" There was no anger in his voice. Instead, there seemed to be a hint of amusement. I tilted my head up and carefully studied him for five seconds. A soft golden halo wrapped around his entire body. Everything from his shoulder blades to his fingertips seemed to glow. Tiny stars sparkled at the tips of his eyelashes. His nose was sharp and straight, and his thin lips were curving slightly upward. There wasn't a single flaw in his face. I sniffed and said with absolute certainty, "An angel. You're definitely an angel. This isn't hell. This is heaven, right? You're the one who came to take me away." The corners of Chester's mouth finally curled all the way up, and the corners of his eyes curved a little. The pig-headed man finally got back on his feet. Dwayne charged over and grabbed my wrist with his hoof. His five fingers dug into my flesh. He roared, "What the hell are you doing, Ruthie? Come here! Take a good look at me and see who I am!" His pig snout moved closer. Hot breath blasted onto my face, blowing that foul, gamey smell right into my nose. My whole body jerked, and my hand rose before I could control it. A smack rang out, loud and sharp. My entire palm tingled. A bright red handprint appeared on the pig's face, stretching from his cheek all the way to the corner of his mouth. I darted behind Chester in three steps and buried my entire face in his back, leaving only one eye exposed as I peeked out. My voice was trembling as I cried, "Don't come near me! You're terrifying! I'm about to throw up! You've even got drools hanging from the corner of your mouth. Can't you see it?" Dwayne's hand froze in midair. His pig face turned red, then green, then purple. The five-finger mark stood out brightly against his skin. I pulled Chester half a step forward. He shifted to the side and blocked me completely with his body. Lorraine stared at me, her fangs clicking together as her trembling voice rang out, "Rue… Do you really think he's a pig?" "Of course." I poked half my head out from behind Chester and glanced at her with one eye. I continued, "You're a demon. He's a pig. She's a snake lady. He's a frog, and that's a black goat." Dwayne clutched the hand I'd slapped away. The handprint on his pig face was bright red, and he couldn't get a single word out. Suddenly, a burst of frantic footsteps came from the kitchen. A sunfish wearing an apron came running out. "Mr. and Mrs. Levine, this is bad! Something bad happened!" Everyone turned around. The sunfish waved something frantically in her hand, shouting in a panic. I couldn't make out what she was saying, but the angel standing in front of me suddenly turned around. His expression was grim as he grabbed my arm. He seemed to be saying something, but I couldn't hear him. In my fading vision, the angel seemed to grow taller and taller. My strength slowly left me. I slid to the floor and lost consciousness.