He Wouldn't Touch Me for Four Years, So I Never Looked Back

I did not see Ethan again until the morning of my follow-up appointment. He was waiting outside my apartment building. I pretended not to notice him and crossed to the other side of the street. "Put me down. I'm not going with you." He had already swept me off my feet. A crease formed between his brows. "Stop trying to prove something." I struggled the entire way, but he still lowered me into the passenger seat of his car. He climbed behind the wheel and did not start the engine. Instead, he turned and studied me. "You've lost weight. Why aren't you eating the meals the nutritionist planned for you?" I looked stiffly out the window. The face reflected in the side mirror was thinner than I remembered, but the eyes were stubborn. "I can take care of myself without you." "Sure you can." Ethan reached into the back seat and pulled out a new forearm crutch. "I had this custom-made for you. Carbon fiber, European design. It's half the weight of that piece of junk." He took my old crutch and replaced it before I could object. The sleek new one was pale blue, my favorite color. Something soft stirred in my chest. Then I noticed the ornament hanging from his rearview mirror. "Why did you replace the cat?" The little wooden cat had taken me three hours in line at a holiday makers' market to buy for him. Ethan had once told me that seeing it in his car made him feel as if I were always beside him. "Chloe brought me a new one from London," he said casually. "So I switched them." "Where's the old one?" "What?" "The cat. Where is it?" "I don't know. Chloe might have thrown it away." He saw the anger on my face and softened his tone. "It was old anyway. Things get replaced." "Are we talking about the ornament," I asked, "or a person?" Ethan went still, then shot me a sideways look. "Don't start a fight over nothing." I pulled out my phone, opened our chat, and held up the video. "What about this? Explain it." The words came out sharp and relentless. I felt like a wounded animal with every quill raised. Ethan only laughed. "Why should I have to explain? Between the two of us, you're the one who can't live without the other. Aren't you?" All the blood in my body turned to ice. When I met Ethan, my mother had just died. My father, a compulsive gambler, owed more money to a pair of illegal bookmakers than he could ever repay. When they could not get it from him, they waited outside my college and dragged me into an alley. Ethan was the one who found me there, barely conscious. He rescued me, then stood in front of my father and delivered a warning. "From now on, Natalie has one family member. Me. You have nothing to do with her anymore." Once, those had been the most sincere words a young man could say. Only a few years later, he knew exactly how to turn them into a weapon. When we reached the clinic, I remained in my seat. "Don't come with me. I'll go in alone." Ethan lost patience and picked me up again. "If you won't walk, I'll carry you." The doctor examined my leg carefully and changed the dressing. Beside her, Ethan scrubbed his hands with disinfecting wipes over and over. If touching me disgusted him this much, why keep forcing himself to do it? "Can we please hurry?" I asked the doctor. "Bones heal on their own schedule," she said. "Rushing me won't speed them up." Ethan's phone rang. The doctor gave me a knowing look. "Your boyfriend must be in a hurry. Busy or not, he still needs to make time for your appointments." I said nothing. Ethan ended the call, already sounding distracted. "A bulb burned out at Chloe's place. She just moved back from London and doesn't know anyone in the city. I need to go." It was broad daylight. Chloe could invent any excuse, and he would treat it like an emergency. "My crutches are in your car," I reminded him. "How am I supposed to get home if you leave?" He hesitated. Then Chloe's name flashed on his phone again. The hesitation vanished. He headed for the door. "Figure something out." He left an injured woman stranded in an unfamiliar medical center and told me to figure something out without my crutches. It was almost funny. The last ember of hope I had for him went dark. The doctor returned and stared at the empty chair beside me. "Where did your boyfriend go?" "We broke up." Sympathy crossed her face. "Any man who abandons his injured girlfriend at a clinic deserves to be an ex." I tried to hop toward the exit on one foot. She hurried over to support me. "You cannot leave like this. Call a family member and ask them to bring your crutches." I scrolled through my contacts. After graduation, I had followed Ethan to Los Angeles, a city where I knew no one. I had no family here. By the time the doctor finished her shift, dusk had settled outside. She came out of the exam room and found me still waiting. "You're still here?" I looked down without answering. She sighed. "How about I send a nurse to the pharmacy for a basic pair of crutches?" I nodded again and again, too grateful to speak. When I finally made it home, I called a number I had declined too many times. "Maya, is the Hawthorne Institute still hiring?" Dr. Maya Collins answered with immediate warmth. "Always. But didn't you say you couldn't stand being long-distance from Ethan? Do you know how many times you've turned us down?" My voice was calm. "This time, I'm saying yes."

"Seriously? Did you two have a fight?" "We broke up." Maya fell silent for a beat. When she spoke again, her voice was gentle but firm. "Our research contracts run for at least three years. If you're sure, report to Boston next week." One week was more than enough time to close out my life here. Someone knocked at my door. "Ms. Brooks? Mr. Hayes said you left something behind. He asked me to deliver it." Ethan's assistant held out the pale blue crutch. I pushed it back toward him. "I don't want it. Take it back." He hesitated. "Mr. Hayes is very worried about you." Worried? That was why he had abandoned me at a clinic. Why he had gone days without making a single call. I started to close the door. The assistant wedged his shoe into the gap. "Mr. Hayes wants to speak to you himself." He held his phone through the opening. Ethan's handsome face filled the screen. "Natalie, this has gone far enough. The drama is getting old." I stared at the background behind him. "Where are you?" He lifted an eyebrow. "Disneyland. Chloe kept complaining that she hadn't been in years." "Who was complaining? I caught you talking about me again." "I would never dare." Chloe launched herself into his arms. The plush ears on her headband brushed his neck. My breath lodged painfully in my chest. For my birthday that year, I had bought us two tickets to Disneyland. Ethan had returned them because he hated crowds and thought theme parks were childish. So it was not that he could not go. He just could not go with me. My throat tightened. "Ethan, I'm ending this." On the screen, Chloe dragged him away before he even heard me. "Ignore her. I want to go on the ride over there." The assistant looked mortified. "Ms. Brooks, please just take the crutch." I shut the door in his face. That evening, Ethan called again. "Why didn't you accept it?" "Because we broke up." He laughed under his breath. "Chloe was right. Breaking up is the only threat you know how to make. So how long before you come begging me to take you back this time?" I pressed my lips together. He had forgotten something. In every argument we had ever had, I was always the one who apologized first. But I had never once said the words break up. "Believe whatever you want." "Fine," he said, humoring me without taking me seriously. "Tomorrow is my grandmother's birthday. Even if you're supposedly leaving me, you need to come see her in person." For the first time, I hesitated. In four years with Ethan, his grandmother had been the one member of the Hayes family who always treated me kindly. The first time we met, she took an heirloom emerald bracelet from her wrist and told me the women of the family had worn it for generations. Now that our relationship was over, I needed to return it.