I Refuse This Fate

My husband, Gideon Hale, returned from the war with barely a breath left in him. Yet despite his condition, he insisted on going to the palace and used his military achievements to secure a royal decree. I thought he had gone to obtain a noble title for me. I was ready to berate him for his foolishness, but the contents of the decree rooted me to the spot. [By royal decree, Gideon Hale, Marquis of Northguard, and his first wife, Clara Reinhart, are permitted to share a tomb.] Clara was my dearest friend from girlhood. My ears rang. I opened my mouth to demand an explanation, but before I could utter a word, Gideon breathed his last. I stood frozen until my son suddenly snatched the decree from my hands and said impatiently, "Mother is Father's true wife. I'm her son too. You gave birth to a daughter, but she died long ago." The words struck me like lightning, and a sharp pain twisted through my chest. "You... What did you just say?" My son didn't answer. Instead, he ordered someone to bring out the family register. The place that had always belonged to me as Gideon's lawful wife now bore Clara Reinhart's name, inscribed there by Gideon's own hand with the utmost solemnity. "Father allowed you to keep the dignity of being his wife. He never publicly acknowledged Mother his entire life. You should be grateful, shouldn't you?" Then he handed me our marriage certificate. Gideon's name still stood beside Clara's. Yet the marriage certificate I had treasured for years was completely blank, as though it had never borne a single word. Only then did the full truth sink in. Not only had I been nothing more than a consort all these years, but I had also raised another woman's child as my own. Before I could draw another breath, I died with my eyes wide open. When I opened them again, I had returned to the day I gave birth. Chapter 1 The suffocating sensation suddenly vanished. I jolted awake, gasping for breath. The familiar pain wracked my body, and the metallic scent of blood filled my nose. I shot upright. "My baby... My baby!" The sight before me made my entire body tremble. There were two babies in the room. One lay beside me, while a maid was carrying the other away. When the maid saw that I was awake, she visibly trembled and hurried toward the door. Before she could escape, I grabbed her arm. I clenched my teeth as my gaze darted to the baby beside me and landed on the red mole beneath his eye. This was that ungrateful wretch from my past life! With my free hand, I seized the swaddled baby in the maid's arms and screamed, "Let go!" "My Lady..." She struggled desperately, dragging me off the bed in her attempt to break free. A dull pain tore through my lower body, followed by a sudden rush of blood. The maid paled in fright and loosened her grip. I seized the opportunity and snatched the baby back. Frantically, I checked the tiny body. Once I was certain, tears poured down my face. "It's a girl. It really is a girl! How dare you!" At my words, the maid dropped to her knees. The commotion brought Gideon rushing into the room. He shoved open the door, and disbelief flashed across his face when he saw me awake. Then he noticed the blood beneath me, and panic seized him. "What happened? Get the physician! Send for the physician now!" I stared at him, stunned by the frantic look on his face. My fingernails dug into my palms as hatred surged through my chest like a rising tide. In my previous life, he had gone off to war for three years, and we'd barely seen each other during that time. I'd waited desperately for his return, only for him to use his dying breath to beg for that royal decree. All reason deserted me. I opened my mouth to confront him, but Clara Reinhart walked in. "Penelope! You just gave birth. How can you get out of bed? Be careful or you'll catch a cold!" Gideon immediately let go of my hand and rose to his feet. He carefully reached out to steady her. The sight stabbed at my heart once more. My gaze fell on Clara's slightly rounded belly, then on the headband wrapped around her forehead. In that instant, I understood everything. Clara noticed me staring, and guilt flashed across her face. "My headaches have been acting up, so I couldn't stay by your side the entire time," she hurriedly explained. "Come on, get back into bed." She nervously reached out to help me, but the moment she saw the two babies, her hand trembled. Her gaze instinctively darted toward Gideon. That single glance said far too much. Back then, Gideon had been stationed in the Northern Wastes, but he had refused to let me accompany him. "The winds and sand are brutal there. You won't be able to bear it," he had claimed. Clara had constantly reassured me too. "His Majesty ordered me to accompany the army as a physician. I can keep an eye on him for you, so you can stay here and take care of yourself without worrying." I hadn't wanted to accept the arrangement, but Clara wore down my resistance with her repeated persuasion. Eventually, I let my guard down. It wasn't until I was close to giving birth that Gideon brought me to the Northern Wastes. He told me he couldn't bear the thought of not being by my side when I gave birth. I never imagined it had all been part of his plan to switch our children. Hatred sharpened my thoughts. I pointed at the maid and told Gideon about the child-switching scheme, then stared straight into his eyes. "If that's the case, guards, take her away and torture her until she talks!" With that order, Gideon pulled me into his arms and gently tried to soothe me. But bitterness consumed my heart. What I'd believed was a deep and loving marriage had been nothing more than an elaborate performance, and Gideon had played his part beautifully. There had been a year when I'd fallen gravely ill while he was stationed at the frontier. Half-conscious with fever, I'd opened my eyes to find him standing before me, coaxing me to get up and eat some brownies. "They're still warm. They're from The Good Bakes in the western district, your favorite." I had thought I was dreaming. But when I reached out and touched him, his skin was warm beneath my fingers. Only later did I learn that he had ridden three horses to death to make it back to me. How could a husband who had loved me so deeply have built another family behind my back with my dearest friend? Clara's voice pulled me from my memories. "But the baby's still so young. He's innocent in all this. How about this, Penelope? You can raise him too. I don't plan to marry anyone in the future anyway. Just treat him as my son." I resisted the urge to expose her lie and nodded in agreement. Gideon's people were everywhere. Turning against them now would do me no good. The two of them stayed and comforted me for a long while. Only after they finally left did I have the chance to take a proper look at my daughter. Tears welled in my eyes again. I lifted her tiny hand to my lips and kissed it. "Your mother will take you home. I'll make sure you're safe for the rest of your life." Then I blew the dragon whistle that man had given me and summoned the hidden guard who had come to deliver a message. "Has your master left?" I asked. Chapter 2 "My master ordered me to guard you, Lady Penelope, for three months. He said that if you remained safe and unharmed during that time, he would return to the capital. He's been gone for five days now," the hidden guard replied. "Then tell him I'm in trouble," I said. I handed the ungrateful wretch over to his wet nurse, Margaret, while I kept my daughter, Amelia, by my side. The moment Clara heard about it, she came straight to see me. She picked up the ungrateful wretch and placed him in my arms. "Penelope, how can you play favorites? The two children were born on the same day. That means they're fated to share a bond. "They're both your flesh and blood. How can you keep Amelia by your side while leaving this child with a wet nurse?" I lowered my eyes. The red birthmark beneath his eye was painfully conspicuous. I had poured my heart and soul into raising him for 20 years, only for him to call someone else Mother in the end. I pushed him straight back into Clara's arms, my expression cold. "He isn't my flesh and blood, so naturally, I won't treat him as well as my own child. How about this? Take him back and raise him yourself." Clara's expression changed drastically, and her arms stiffened around the child. "I... I'm not very good at caring for children." It wasn't that she didn't know how. She knew perfectly well that a child raised as the offspring of a noblewoman would live a world apart from one born to a penniless orphan like her. Clara tried to push the child back into my arms, but I simply turned away. In her haste, she stumbled, and the baby in her arms began wailing in fright. "My son— Ah!" Gideon hurried forward at the sound. "What happened? Are you hurt?" When Clara saw the child's face turn red from crying, tears instantly sprang to her eyes. "Penelope, if you don't want to hold him, then don't. Why did you have to trip me?" I turned back in disbelief. Margaret was about to speak up for me when Gideon sharply reprimanded me, "He's still a human life, no matter what. How can you be so heartless?" His words left me stunned. Gideon had always said he would never raise his voice at me, much less reprimand me. Tears blurred my vision as one beautiful memory after another came rushing back. When I first learned to ride, I fell from my horse and hurt myself. Gideon cried until his eyes were red with worry and wished he could take the pain in my place. When I got lost during a festival at 14, he was the first to find me and personally escorted me home. Our wedding had been magnificent. The procession had circled the city three times, while fireworks lit up the entire sky. I still remembered what he had said when he lifted me down from the horse. "Only the very best is worthy of my Penelope." Those memories faded, replaced by the cold impatience in his eyes and the tenderness he reserved for Clara. Then I remembered what had happened after their plan succeeded in my previous life. Clara had moved into the Marquis' estate as the household physician. Gideon had used my postpartum weakness as an excuse to hand control of the entire estate over to her. I had confronted him, but he had simply turned the question back on me. "Isn't Clara your dearest friend? How could you possibly be suspicious of her?" For a moment, I had been speechless. "I gave her control of the household because I wanted her to help shoulder your burden. She's been so good to you and the child, yet you're still suspicious of her?" Back then, I had genuinely believed I was being petty. But later, the two of them would take our son into the mountains to pray for blessings. They would tie protection charms around each other's wrists, while I alone was left without one. Even the king's rewards were always offered to her first. Some people even mistook her for the Marchioness. Because I had regarded her as my sister in all but blood, I had endured it all. Now, I wiped away my tears and met Gideon's eyes. I couldn't hold back any longer. "Why do you keep protecting another woman and a child of unknown origins?" Gideon froze. Before he could answer, Clara cried out, "Something's wrong with the baby... Gideon, look!" I suddenly remembered. This boy had a heart condition. In my previous life, I had raised him with meticulous care. That was the only reason he had survived and grown into adulthood. After such a fright, his heart condition was probably acting up. My feet instinctively carried me toward him, but the moment I drew near, Clara shoved me hard. I fell to the floor. A sharp, twisting pain tore through my lower abdomen, and all the color drained from my face. "Penelope!" Gideon had barely taken a step toward me when the boy suddenly burst into loud cries. With no other choice, the two of them hurried away with the baby in their arms. Margaret immediately helped me to my feet, her expression grim. "My Lady..." I didn't answer. I simply stared blankly at their retreating figures. In my previous life, I had watched their backs countless times. They had traveled to the Northern Wastes together, and even on the battlefield, they had always stood at each other's side. After Arthur was born, all I ever saw were three figures walking away from me. There had never been a place for me among them. I had been so foolish that I hadn't even noticed. Not long afterward, Gideon returned. "The physician says the child has a heart disorder. Only blood from someone with the same blood type can suppress it. Amelia happens to be a match," he said. Chapter 3 For a moment, I thought I'd heard him wrong. "W-What did you say?" Before he could say another word, I screamed, "Dream on! Gideon Hale, Amelia is your daughter! You want to hurt her to save that bastard?" "He isn't a bastard!" he shouted before realizing something was wrong. His tone quickly softened again. "Clara has already accepted Arthur as her own son. You two have always been so close. Can you really bear to make her suffer because of this? "Besides, if it hadn't been for her during the battle last month, I'd already be dead. We only need a little of our daughter's blood. Consider it repayment for saving my life. You can't even agree to that?" I kept shaking my head. My eyes reddened again as I listened to his lies. "As long as I'm alive, you won't lay a finger on Amelia." Gideon sighed, then turned and waved his hand. The guards behind him immediately stepped forward. "What are you doing?" Margaret and I rushed to stop them, only for the guards to shove us to the ground again. Another warm stream spread beneath me as blood soaked through my skirt. "My Lady! My Lady!" Margaret screamed. She rushed over to help me up, but I shook off her hand and crawled forward. My fingernails dug into the cracks between the floorboards until they broke, but I couldn't feel the pain. "Penelope... Penelope, stop making a fuss!" The sight of me frightened Gideon, and his voice trembled. "Physician! Get the physician!" By then, the guards had already picked Amelia up. One of them drew a dagger and pressed it against her delicate arm. "No!" A dull pain seized my heart, and I spat out a large mouthful of blood. Gideon's eyes reddened, and he immediately ordered them to stop. Just then, Clara rushed in with Arthur in her arms. Her voice choked with tears. "Gideon... Gideon, Arthur isn't going to make it!" "Quick! Take the blood!" he ordered without hesitation, then hurried to Clara's side. I could only watch as bright red blood trickled from Amelia's tiny wrist. All the strength drained from my body. "Gideon, she's your daughter!" He remained unmoved. Only after he made sure Arthur had taken the blood and recovered did he finally breathe a sigh of relief. Only then did Clara remember me and come over to help. I shoved her away, and she burst into tears again. "I remember my aunt suffered from a heart condition too. Penelope, you must know how to care for someone with a heart condition. Please, I'm begging you. Take good care of Arthur, will you?" Gideon remembered this as well and immediately agreed. "Arthur is in your care. I'll take Amelia away. If he doesn't get better, we'll take more blood. You wouldn't want to see that happen, would you?" His words made every hair on my body stand on end. I didn't even know how my daughter had died in my previous life. If Amelia fell into their hands again, would she have any chance of surviving? "No! Don't take Amelia away! Don't—" Before I could finish, the pain intensified until I lost consciousness. … When I woke again, Arthur was lying beside me. Margaret helped me sit up. Tears filled her eyes as she fed me medicine. "My Lady, you haven't even finished your confinement yet. You can't keep pushing yourself like this." I pushed the medicine away, tears streaming down my face. Only one thought consumed me: Amelia. I was terrified that the next time I saw her, she would be nothing more than a lifeless corpse. My heart twisted with pain as I grabbed Margaret's hand. "Margaret, there will be many people at the victory banquet three days from now. Take Arthur and leave. "I'll go find Amelia myself. As long as we have Arthur, they won't dare hurt Amelia." Margaret considered my words for a moment before nodding in agreement. … On the day of the victory banquet, before dawn, I escorted Margaret out through the side gate. I reminded her of everything again and again. Unease gnawed at my heart, and I could only pray that nothing would go wrong. Afterward, I carefully searched every corner of the estate for any sign of Amelia. But when I finally reached the banquet hall and saw what was happening inside, the blood in my veins turned to ice. Chapter 4 Clara stood among several noblewomen, holding Arthur in her arms. Margaret had been forced into a corner, her arms twisted behind her back and bound. Her hair was disheveled, and blood soaked the sleeve of her dress and dripped from the fabric. She had clearly been beaten. "How utterly outrageous! She actually dared to abduct the Marquis' heir!" "A vile servant like her deserves to be beaten to death!" The women were furious. Some even stepped forward to kick Margaret. I rushed forward and shielded her with my body. When I saw the injuries covering her, my voice caught in my throat. "Margaret..." "My Lady, please go. Don't come any closer. Be careful... His Lordship will punish you." Even now, she was still worried about me. Tears streamed down my face. I reached to untie her, but a tremendous force suddenly yanked me away. "Penelope! The evidence proves that this servant abducted the heir. Stay away from her." Gideon's voice was cold. "The heir?" I stared at him as though I'd just heard the most absurd joke in the world. "I gave birth to a daughter. What heir are you talking about?" The entire hall fell deathly silent. Clara hurried forward. "Penelope, your child is right here. Don't be afraid..." She bent down and held Arthur out to me. I recoiled as though he carried the plague and shoved him away. "Get away from me! I don't want to see him! I gave birth to a daughter. Amelia! You stole my child and replaced her with this ungrateful wretch, and now you're trying to twist the truth and claim he's the heir?" Gideon's face turned livid. He strode forward and seized my wrist. "Penelope! Have you lost your mind?" "I haven't! Give Amelia back to me, or I'll expose everything between you and Clara!" Clara froze. Her voice trembled as heartbreak filled her face. "W-What are you talking about? Penelope, have you misunderstood me?" She turned to the others. "Please forgive her. Penelope suffered severe bleeding during childbirth and barely survived. Unfortunately, she developed hysteria afterward. She can no longer recognize the people around her. She can't even recognize her own child—" "You're lying!" I screamed and shoved her hard. "Clara!" Gideon rushed forward. When he saw that Clara had struck her head while protecting Arthur, his eyes turned bloodshot. "Guards! Margaret abducted the heir. Give her 20 lashes!" "No!" I tried to shield Margaret, but the guards pinned me down. All I could do was watch helplessly as they tied her to a wooden bench. "Let Margaret go... Let her go!" The moment the words left my mouth, a military baton crashed down on her back. Blood immediately seeped through her clothes. After only 3 strikes, she fell completely silent. I broke down sobbing, but the people around me only frowned in disapproval. "Her Ladyship truly has gone mad. She's actually protecting the wretched servant who tried to abduct her own son." One woman stepped forward. "My Lord, hysteria is easy enough to cure. My cousin suffered from the same condition once. "Bring in a physician and have him stick a few needles into her. Then beat her hard with a board. Once she's frightened enough, she'll naturally come to her senses." Gideon said nothing. He simply walked over and stared down at me. "Now, do you know whether you gave birth to a son or a daughter?" I looked up at him through clenched teeth. "I gave birth to a daughter. A daughter!" He turned away without hesitation. "Bring the physician. Give Her Ladyship 20 strikes and make her come to her senses." The physician arrived soon afterward. They bound me with hemp rope and stuffed a handkerchief into my mouth. The physician drove a needle into the top of my head, and my mind immediately grew hazy. Soon, all I knew was pain. Then they tied me to the wooden bench. The first strike fell. Pain tore through my body, and my lower half went numb from the agony. The second strike landed. I vomited blood as more blood poured from beneath me. But I couldn't speak or scream. I could only shed silent tears. Before long, a small pool of blood had gathered beneath the bench. Gideon approached me again. A trace of reluctance flickered in his eyes, but his voice remained cold and firm. "Kneel before Clara and apologize. Acknowledge Arthur as your son, and I'll let you go. Otherwise, I can't guarantee that you'll ever see Amelia again." My pupils trembled. The mere thought of my daughter made it painful to breathe. I grabbed the edge of his coat and forced a bitter smile. "I... I remember now. I gave birth to a son... Arthur." I forced myself upright and crawled desperately toward Clara. "I was wrong, Clara. I shouldn't have said those things about you. I was wrong." Everyone seemed satisfied with my submission. Gideon was especially pleased. He personally carried me back to the main residence. "Penelope, you need to stay this obedient from now on. It'll be better for all of us." I lifted my head in despair. Then I spotted a familiar hawk circling overhead. I shoved Gideon away. "Gideon Hale, there is no future for us. I'll never forgive you!" Gideon froze before letting out a soft chuckle. "Penelope, we're in the Northern Wastes, not the capital. You don't have the power to command heaven and earth here." The very next instant, a cold arrow pierced straight through his right shoulder. Black-clad riders descended from above. Their leader removed his hood. His voice was icy as he spoke. "Is that so?"