I Toasted to My Husband and His First Love

Finding out that my husband spent the night at his "first love's" apartment after their high school reunion was the final straw for me. The girl who got away, Clara, had posted a photo of him sleeping peacefully on her Instagram. The caption read: "Still the same restless sleeper after all these years..." The comments below were flooded with their old friends congratulating them on finally getting back together. I sneered and left a comment of my own: "You two really are a match made in heaven. Don't forget to invite me to the wedding. I'll gladly buy the champagne." Looking at the comment I had just posted, I let out a long, shaky breath and lit a cigarette. On the wall, our wedding photo seemed to glare back at me, mocking my stupidity. Julian hadn't come home all night. I had tossed and turned in our bed, unable to sleep, my mind flooded with memories of our past. The next evening, I came home from work and found Julian sitting on the sofa. His face was tense, dark with anger. I hung my purse on the rack by the door and walked right past him without a word. "Audrey!" He slammed his hand on the coffee table and stood up, glaring at me with pure fury. "What the hell was that comment you left last night?" I let out a cold laugh. "What did it mean? Exactly what it said. You slept at another woman's apartment, Julian. What did you expect?" He frowned, looking slightly caught off guard. "Can you stop dragging our friendship through the dirt with your sick imagination? Clara and I are just friends. Nothing happened last night!" He sank back onto the sofa, running a hand through his hair, putting on his usual display of exhausted misery. Every single fight ended like this. Whenever he ran out of excuses, he would play the victim. In the past, I fell for it every time. I would always run over to comfort him, apologizing for things I didn't do. But this time, I just looked at him coldly. I didn't move an inch. Seeing no reaction from me, he stopped his little act. Over the years of our marriage, I had tolerated everything Julian threw at me. Maybe that was why he thought I had no backbone. He just kept pushing my boundaries, further and further. But this time, the betrayal was staring me right in the face. No woman in her right mind could swallow this. "Audrey, I slept on her couch last night. Clara was in her bedroom. Do you really have zero trust in me? Come on, babe, stop making a scene. Delete that comment. You're making us both look bad in front of everyone." Julian's words made me want to laugh out loud. The camera angle Clara used made it painfully obvious that they were lying in the same bed. What was he still trying to lie about? Besides, if it was such a big deal, Clara could have easily deleted the Instagram post. But she didn't. She wanted me to delete my comment. Did she enjoy the congratulations from their friends too much to let it go? "I'm not deleting it," I said, my voice eerily calm. I reached into my purse, pulled out the divorce papers, and placed them on the table. "Sign this." My tone was flat. I had been disappointed too many times. Now, my heart was just numb. Julian’s eyes widened. He stared at the papers on the table in absolute disbelief. "Audrey! Are you out of your mind?!" Yes, maybe I was. I had endured so much disrespect and pressure in this marriage, only to get a knife in my back in return. Who wouldn't go crazy? The fact that I could stand in the same room with him and calmly discuss divorce was already the ultimate mercy. Honestly, I had realized a long time ago that Julian never truly had a place for me in his heart. To him, Clara was his one and only. This wasn't something that started recently. If I looked back, the warning signs had been there all along.Three months ago, I accidentally saw his interactions with Clara on Snapchat. He had posted a throwback photo of the two of them with the caption: The one that got away. Then, in the comments, he wrote: "Our love was always a second too late. My parents' moving us apart made our paths diverge. “ “My current marriage is flat and tasteless, with zero spark left. But luckily, she's back in my life now. She is my absolute savior." Actually, Julian and I used to have a great relationship. It wasn't "tasteless" or "worthless" like he claimed. Everything changed the moment Clara returned to the city. He started avoiding coming home, using "late nights at the office" as an excuse. He would come home past midnight. To accommodate his schedule, I used to stay up late just to have a few words with him. But even then, we barely talked. When he did speak, the conversation always drifted back to Clara, his so-called "savior." Slowly, I realized Julian’s heart was no longer with me. His eyes, his smile, even his tone of voice—they didn't belong to me anymore. During those dark days, I kept telling myself I was just being paranoid. Maybe he was just going through a mid-life crisis. But reality kept slapping me in the face. That Snapchat post stripped away my last bit of self-delusion. One night, while he was in the shower, his phone lit up. It was a Snapchat thread with Clara. The flirtatious messages were too raw, too intimate for me to ignore. When I confronted him, he just shrugged and smiled. "It's just banter, Audrey. We're old friends. It doesn't mean anything." To be honest, I was pathetic back then. I couldn't let go of him. His every smile and frown dictated my mood. Or maybe it was just a toxic possessiveness. I desperately wanted Julian to choose me over Clara. I started questioning myself. Was I not good enough? I began trying twice as hard. I bought him designer watch, leased him a new sports car—anything he wanted, I gave him. But after taking my gifts with a few sweet words, treating me like a pet, his attitude would go right back to cold indifference. Clara and Julian had known each other since high school. Julian had been obsessed with her, but his parents had forbidden them from being together. Clara's family background was messy, to say the least. Her father had been sentenced to federal prison for racketeering, and her mother was a serial gold digger who remarried whenever she ran out of cash. Julian’s family, on the other hand, ran a decent local business. They were never going to accept a girl from a family like Clara's. So, they forced them apart. But it was actually Clara who ended things and moved to another state, disappearing for years. Around that time, my family's firm was thriving, and many local business owners wanted to network with us. Julian’s parents were among them. I fell for Julian at first sight, though I kept it to myself. To my surprise, Julian was the one who reached out to me first on Snapchat. His parents were thrilled, pushing us together. It seemed natural, and we eventually got married. Our life seemed peaceful. My only regret was that we didn't have children. He always said he wasn't ready. I respected his decision. Even without kids, I loved him just the same. But all of that shattered the moment Clara came back. Pulling myself back to reality, I tapped the divorce papers on the table. Julian stared at me, dumbfounded. Then, a look of smug realization crossed his face. "Audrey, are you really playing the jealousy card? This is so cliché!" He scoffed. "You're just throwing a tantrum because of Clara. Stop being so petty. Alright, enough." He grabbed the divorce papers and my purse, threw them carelessly onto the floor, and turned to walk into the bedroom. As he brushed past me, the strong scent of cheap women's perfume on him was sickening.After Julian slammed the bedroom door, I collapsed onto the sofa, feeling completely hollow. I never thought our marriage would end like this. All the sweet memories had curdled into arguments and betrayal. I picked up the crumpled papers from the floor, my vision blurring. All his promises felt so cheap now. I tried to calm myself, but a sudden wave of intense nausea hit me. I ran to the bathroom, dry-heaving violently. I had been feeling nauseous on and off lately. I opened the drawer, grabbed a pregnancy test, and took it. When the two lines appeared, my hands began to shake. I was pregnant. In that moment, a rush of foolish hope blinded my logic. I thought, Maybe if we have a baby, Julian and I can fix this. Maybe this child could be the turning point we needed to rebuild our life. I took a deep breath, walked to the bedroom, and knocked gently. He opened the door, his eyes cold and exhausted. "Julian, I just took a test. We're having a baby," I said, trying to keep my voice steady, but my excitement leaked through. His face froze. A flash of panic crossed his eyes. He didn't say a word, his hand gripping the doorframe tightly. "I know you might not feel ready, but I think we can start over for the baby's sake. We can fix our marriage and give this child a real family." I was trying to convince him, but mostly, I was trying to convince myself. He stayed silent for a long moment, calculating. Then, he forced a warm smile. "Yeah... we're having a baby. You see? When you doubt me, it breaks my heart. How could you not trust how hard I'm working for this family?" I stood there, frozen. The joy of the pregnancy was instantly drowned by a wave of guilt. I actually started wondering if I had been too hard on him. "Julian, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have doubted you," I whispered, seeing the fake moisture in his eyes. Julian didn't answer. He just turned back into the bedroom and shut the door. I stood in the hallway, my mind in a whirl. After that, I began doing everything for Julian, dedicating all my free time to him. I bought him endless gifts and visited his office whenever I didn't have major meetings, trying to smooth things over. His tone softened. We seemed to be reverting to the way we used to be. I even began to look forward to our future as a family of three. Yet, deep down, a nagging unease remained. He wasn't cold anymore, but he wasn't warm either. He always kept a strange distance, making it impossible to read his mind. "Julian, what do you think we should name the baby?" I asked one evening, trying to spark a connection. He gave a dry smile, a flicker of hesitation crossing his eyes. "We can talk about that later. Right now, let's just focus on your health." My heart sank a little, but I didn't push. I figured he was still holding a grudge about the divorce threat. Today, I got off work early. I wanted to go for my prenatal checkup. I called Julian, but he said he was buried in work. Being the understanding wife, I went to the hospital alone, navigating the crowded hallways by myself. "Oh my god, they are so sweet! I want a husband like that. She said she felt sick, and he just kissed her forehead. I'm literally melting!" A nurse walked out of a VIP room, gossiping happily with her colleague. As I walked past the open door of that room, I casually glanced inside. I froze.