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I Was Never Her Placeholder

Novelix Completed

替身/替代品、追妻火葬场、打脸、背叛、果断的、未婚夫/妻、大女主、第一人称视角、女性力量/大女主、剧情/戏剧、现代/都市

Chapters (3)

第1章

We'd been together for seven years, yet my fiancé had never once introduced me to the close-knit circle he was always talking about. After I pestered him for ages, he finally gave in and agreed to introduce me to his friends. That night, everyone decided to play a round-robin storytelling game. My fiancé, Aiden Grey, kicked it off: "I have one." His childhood best friend jumped in eagerly: "A last-minute placeholder." The whole table exchanged knowing smiles. Someone else picked it up: "Pretty but painfully stupid." "Suitable, but never the one he truly wanted." "Honest but can't take a joke." "So paranoid that nobody wants to hang out with her." ... The second-to-last turn belonged to the girl who'd once been Aiden's unattainable first love — Selene. Her cheeks flushed pink as she added: "Just someone to fill the seat I left empty." In that instant, everything snapped into focus. So this circle I barely knew but had always tried to join had long since made me the butt of their jokes. Then it was my turn. The last one. I smiled and said one word: "Ex." ... I stood up. "Excuse me." Behind me, the table erupted in laughter. "See? Told you — she can't take a joke." Aiden froze for a second, then followed me out and grabbed my wrist. "They were just messing around." "So you could tell they were messing with *me*?" In that moment, I wanted him to tell me I was overthinking it more than I'd ever wanted anything. After all, the woman in their story — sensitive, dramatic, always sulking — had no distinguishing features. It didn't have to be me. But his expression only darkened: "Weren't you the one who insisted on coming tonight? And now you can't even handle a little joke?" I paused, then shook his hand off. "You're right. It was pathetic of me. Won't happen again." His friends were still howling behind him. Only Selene sat quietly, lips pressed together, saying nothing. I didn't know her. But her story had always hovered between me and Aiden — half-visible, never fully spoken. Like a fishbone lodged in my throat. Couldn't pull it out, couldn't swallow it down. I'd chosen to ignore it. Because I'd always believed they no longer saw each other in person. Until tonight, I hadn't known... that she was part of this little circle too. Their story had never been a game. And I wasn't angry. I just couldn't lie to myself anymore. As I turned and walked out of the private room, the laughter continued behind me. His best friend Marcus was the only familiar face I'd had at tonight's gathering. He'd always been polite enough to call me "the future Mrs. Grey." Whenever Aiden and I fought, Marcus was the one who'd smooth things over. I'd assumed he was at least neutral. Now he was grinning and twisting the knife: "I told you not to bring her." "Every holiday you're off checking out new restaurants with Selene, telling her you're at my place — do you know how exhausting it is covering for you?" "We finally get a chance to be together, and you had to bring her along and ruin it?" "With that personality of hers, you really think she can handle the truth?" I laughed bitterly to myself. So the game wasn't so random after all. It was as if everyone had been in on the act, just waiting for the show. Holidays. How long had it been since Aiden and I had actually spent one together? From the first time he told me on Thanksgiving, "Just grabbing drinks with Marcus" — that was two years ago now. The timing matched perfectly with Selene's return from London to start her food blog. So all those so-called "boys' nights" were really secret dates with her. ... I walked out of the club. I pulled out my phone and deleted his contact, cleared every chat log, unfollowed every social media account. Then I opened my photo gallery and erased every picture of him — one by one, until there was nothing left. Eight minutes passed. The Uber still hadn't arrived. Aiden came outside to smoke. Saw me still standing there and walked over. "What, you think you're still in high school? Waiting for me to chase after you?" When I didn't answer, he blew out a ring of smoke: "Either go back inside, or call yourself a ride home. Don't just stand here — aren't you cold?" "We'll wrap up early tonight. I'll take you to that steakhouse you love. Yeah?" It wasn't as though he never knew how to back down. It's just that I suddenly realized — the candy that comes after the slap tastes awfully bitter. I looked up at him. He felt like a stranger, as if we were meeting for the first time. "I —" The door to the club swung open, and a bright, clear voice cut me off: "Aiden, what's taking so long? Everyone's waiting for you to come back for the next round." It was Selene — the one who'd said, "Just someone to fill the seat I left empty." Aiden turned around. "Coming." And in that same instant, the car pulled up in front of me. I opened the door and ducked inside. Aiden was still turned away, talking to that girl. He didn't see me get in. Didn't notice I was no longer standing there. Selene walked over and slipped her arm through his. Under the neon lights, their shadows overlapped into one. By the time he finally bothered to turn back, I had already looked away. "Go," I told the driver.

第2章

I watched the trees stream backward outside the window, replaying every moment of our years together. It wasn't until the driver gently asked, "Need a tissue?" that I realized my face was already soaked with tears. I wiped them away with the back of my hand. "Thanks. I'm fine." Back at the apartment, every movement ran on autopilot. I opened the suitcase and started packing, piece by piece. When I got to the dark green slip dress, I stopped. That was what I'd been wearing earlier today. Before we left, I'd twirled three times in front of the full-length mirror and asked him: "Do I look good?" He didn't even look up. "It's fine." I'd picked out earrings and jewelry to match the dress, done my makeup. After all that effort, he frowned just as we were about to leave: "That dress doesn't really suit you. Change." I'd thought he genuinely meant it didn't suit me. It wasn't until we arrived that I understood — his first love was wearing the same one. That dress had been my birthday present last year. He'd had it custom-made by an independent designer, just for me. I thought it was one of a kind. Turns out it was just one of two. I pulled the dress back out of the suitcase and hung it in the closet. I didn't want to take it with me. I'd lived here for five years, and traces of me were everywhere. But the things that were truly mine? They fit in a single suitcase. The moment the zipper closed, the room felt like it had lost half of itself. I sat on the edge of the bed and texted my parents: [Mom, Dad — the wedding's off.] [There's an urgent project at work. I have to leave tomorrow.] Mom's call came through instantly. I didn't pick up. I was afraid the crack in my voice would give me away. I typed back instead: [It's a work thing. I can handle it.] She was quiet for a moment, then replied: [Your life, your call. Your dad and I will deal with the relatives. Don't worry about that.] I stared at the screen, the tip of my nose stinging. Typed back: [Thanks, Mom.] After a moment's thought, I sent a voice message to my business partner, Henry: [Henry — that impossible client we've been chasing. What city is he in now? Send me the file, I'm flying out.] Henry's reply was instant: [Have you lost your mind? We've been emailing that guy for six months with zero response. You think you can just show up and get a meeting?] If I couldn't get a meeting, at least I could see the scenery. I just needed a destination far enough away that I couldn't turn back. I tossed my phone into my bag, stood up, and took one last look around the place I'd called home for years. I was just about to walk out when I heard the keypad on the front door. I instinctively stepped back. A voice drifted in — "It's fine, she can crash here for one night. She won't mind" — Then I saw Aiden with a tipsy Selene leaning on his arm.

第3章

Aiden was halfway through the door before he noticed me standing in the entryway, suitcase in hand. He paused. His eyes moved between me and the suitcase: "You saw in the group chat that I was bringing her back, and now you're going to make a scene about it?" Group chat? Oh. That group chat. The one I'd spent half a month begging him to add me to. Nobody noticed when I joined. Nobody noticed when I left it walking out of that room tonight. He shook his head with a furrowed brow. "Is this really necessary? You're a woman too. She's had too much to drink. I can't leave her on the street just to avoid looking inappropriate." "There are no hotels?" I hadn't meant to ask. After all, who my ex brings home or lets spend the night is none of my business. But I couldn't help it. I'd lived in this apartment for five years. I'd filled it piece by piece. It was the place I thought I'd stay forever. It was all the proof that I'd gone from being a guest to the woman of this house. "A hotel?" His voice was tinged with exasperation. "You'd be comfortable letting a drunk woman stay in a hotel room alone?" "And if I went along to stay with her overnight, you'd throw an even bigger fit." He made it sound so logical. As if this whole thing were simply a matter of how to properly accommodate an intoxicated woman. And my objection was nothing more than paranoia, selfishness, pettiness. But I remembered there'd been more than one woman at that gathering tonight. I remembered there were single men too — his best friend Marcus, for one. And I remembered that Selene's apartment was hardly on the other side of the world. I couldn't out-argue him, so I stopped trying. I was about to walk straight past them when Selene suddenly grabbed my arm, her eyes unfocused: "Ivy, where are you going in the middle of the night?" "Is it because I'm here? Are you upset? I — I can leave..." She actually reached for the cardigan draped over Aiden's arm as if to go. Her movement was clumsy — she stumbled, and her whole body tilted into Aiden. He instinctively caught her by the elbow. "Stay still," he murmured. Then he turned to look at me. That look. I knew it by heart. Wrapping a decision he'd never change in a thin layer of sorry — then waiting for me to say "okay." I believed the apology in his eyes was real. But I also knew that from the moment he'd sat down next to her at the gathering, every seemingly unavoidable choice he made had tilted toward her. "Aiden." He looked at me, waiting for me to continue. "When you said 'she won't mind' — did you ever actually ask me?" "What if I told you I do mind?" The smile on his face stiffened. "...I didn't think it through." He sidestepped the question entirely: "Just come inside. It's cold out. We'll talk about it tomorrow." Tomorrow? He didn't know that my tomorrow was no longer on the same page of the calendar as his. I exhaled, and took a step forward. He instinctively called after me: "Wait —"