I Won't Forgive You, So Stop Waiting

Lorenzo Blackwood called off the mating ceremony. The reason was that I had smiled at another male werewolf at the bonfire party. For the Alpha of the Moonlight Pack, his version of the silent treatment was almost laughably childish. He stopped bringing me with him and deliberately took his assistant Anna Reed's hand instead. He deliberately bid one million dollars on a ruby for Anna at an Imperial auction, then fastened it around her neck himself. He made a point of guiding Anna through hand-to-hand combat drills on the training ground, lingering far too close as he corrected her stance. He made a point of answering every word Anna said with endless patience while ignoring every look I sent him. I had already written the apology letter. "Lorenzo, I was wrong. I swear you're the only one I love. Please don't be mad anymore, okay?" I was on my way to apologize when I heard Anna laughing outside the door of Lorenzo's study. "You gave me the pack's heirloom moonstone pendant just to get under your mate's skin. "I don't mind playing along. Chloe always caves first anyway." I looked at the pendant sitting against her throat. That was the symbol of the Moonlight Pack's Luna. Calmly, I turned and walked away. Then I canceled everything, one item at a time: the ceremony venue, the banquet, and the officiating priest. 1 The communication crystal lit up the moment I got home. It was Lorenzo. I didn't answer. I just watched the crystal glow and then go dark again. Then I looked at the apology letter I'd already crumpled in my fist. I felt like an absolute joke. The crystal lit up again, and this time I answered. Lorenzo's image floated above the crystal, his face like thunder. "Chloe, what do you think you're doing?" "Why did the ceremony coordinator just tell me you'd canceled everything connected to the ceremony?" I said nothing. Lorenzo narrowed his eyes. "Is this about Anna?" "No," was all I said. Lorenzo was starting to lose patience. "Is it because I bought Anna the ruby? "Or because I taught Anna to fight? "Or because I gave Anna the moonstone pendant?" With every question, my smile grew more bitter. So he knew. He knew all of it would hurt me. And he did it anyway. I answered flatly, "If you knew it would hurt me, you shouldn't have done it." Lorenzo didn't think he was in the wrong at all. "Chloe, then you shouldn't have smiled at another male werewolf." I studied Lorenzo's indifferent expression. And it hit me that I had never really known him. "Lorenzo." I took a deep breath and spelled it out for him again. "It was one polite smile. That's all it was." "But I didn't like it." His tone was as matter-of-fact as ever. "If I don't like something, you don't do it." I took a deep breath. "You don't like me smiling at other people, so that gives you the right to be sweet to Anna right in front of me? "The right to cancel the mating ceremony without a shred of respect for my dignity?" Lorenzo's frown deepened. "What are you making such a fuss about? I canceled the ceremony to give you time to think about what you did. "You know exactly what I mean." My heart sank slowly. So that was what he meant. He had canceled the mating ceremony, but I wasn't supposed to take it seriously. I was supposed to sit quietly and wait for him to cool off. I was supposed to wait for him to toss me a bone the way you'd pacify a pet, then thank him for it while I put every arrangement back together. It had happened the same way every other time. In the end, he always chose me. So I was expected to be understanding and swallow every grievance on my own. "I understand." I nodded. Only then did Lorenzo smile, satisfied. "Chloe, if you were always this reasonable, everything would be fine. "All right, come outside. I'm at your door." I stood and went to the second-floor window. Sure enough, Lorenzo was at the front door. He looked up at me too, those golden eyes bright in the moonlight. There was a time when this was the moment I softened. I would take it as proof that he cared about me after all. He only had to take one step toward me, and I would run the other ninety-nine. But this time, I didn't want to run. "It's late. I'm going to bed." The smile froze on Lorenzo's lips. He stared at me in disbelief. "Chloe, I'm standing right under your window and you're not coming down?" I made a small sound of agreement. Lorenzo's face darkened again. "Chloe, quit it!" Was I the one throwing a fit? Every time, he was the one who set me aside and turned his smile on someone else. Every time, I was the one who backed down first. I used to think love didn't keep score of who backed down first. But enough time went by. And backing down turned into something I simply had to do. I get tired too. I sighed. "Tell the guests tomorrow that the mating ceremony is off." Lorenzo gave me a mocking little smile. "Chloe, are you sure you want to say something like that just to spite me?" I didn't answer. "Fine. I'll give you two more days to think it over. Come find me when you've come to your senses." The crystal went dark. I watched Lorenzo stand at the door a while longer, and then a figure came around the corner of the street. It was Anna. I watched her rub her arms, and Lorenzo took off his own coat and draped it over her. Anna tilted her face up, glanced toward my bedroom window, and smiled smugly. Lorenzo followed her gaze up. Then he reached out, put his arm around her waist, and pulled her in against him. He made sure I saw it. Then the two of them turned and left. The crystal flickered once. It was a message from Anna. "Chloe, how many days do you think you can hold out this time?" 2 The next morning I left for work at the healing house. On the way I ran into Lorenzo's mother, Martha Blackwood. "Chloe." I stopped. "Come to the house for dinner tonight." I was quiet for a second. "Martha, I'm sorry. I have plans tonight." Martha's smile cooled. "You and Lorenzo had a spat yesterday, didn't you?" "Couples argue, that's normal, but as the future Luna you can't be so petty about it. "Lorenzo is the Alpha of this pack. The fact that he's willing to back down at all and give you an opening is rare enough." I looked up at Martha, and her expression was cut from exactly the same cloth as Lorenzo's the day before. "Martha, the mating ceremony between Lorenzo and me is canceled. "There's nothing between us anymore." Martha's face tightened with impatience. "Lorenzo already told me. He's just making you reflect a little. Don't blow it up into something it isn't. "He's the heir to the Moonlight Pack. Do you know how many she-wolves have their eyes on him? Standing at his side is a privilege most of them can only dream of." She paused. "Anna will be there tonight too. Take a page out of her book. Learn to listen, learn to behave." Listen. Behave. Martha was exactly like Lorenzo. What they wanted was someone who would never say no and would obey them absolutely. I was supposed to nod. I was supposed to smile. I was supposed to swallow every unfair thing whole. I met Martha's gaze. "I'm not coming." Then I walked on past her and left her standing behind me. I hadn't been at the healing house long, and I was in the herb room working on a new formula. My assistant, Fiona Hale, knocked and leaned halfway into the room, looking uneasy. "Chloe, the Alpha is here. He's waiting in your office." I didn't look up. "Got it." I finished grinding the batch I had measured out, sealed it into a glass vial and labeled it, and only then did I go out. The first thing I saw was Lorenzo sitting in my chair, his face dark. Anna was sitting on his lap, paging through my notes. When I came in, she got off his lap with a great show of embarrassment. "Chloe, you're here." "I was just looking at your formula. It's so clever. You really are the most gifted herbalist in the pack." Her fingertip came to rest on one sheet. That was the work I had been preparing for the Imperial Herbalist Competition. It was a formula for treating rare cases of wolfsbane poisoning. Lorenzo had once told me that a childhood friend had died of wolfsbane poisoning. He'd been able to do nothing but watch his best friend die in front of him. I had spent three solid months on it and used up more than a hundred batches of ingredients. At last, the formula was complete. Lorenzo knew that I treated every formula I wrote like my own life. And yet today he had brought Anna into my office without permission and let her leaf through my formulas as if they meant nothing. "What is this supposed to be?" I asked Lorenzo. Lorenzo looked up at me. "Anna wants to learn how to prepare herbal remedies, so I brought her by to look." "And she had to come into my office for that?" Anna's eyes reddened instantly. Her lashes trembled as she apologized in a small, soft voice, "I'm sorry, Chloe. I didn't know you didn't want me here." "You aren't welcome here." Lorenzo frowned at me. "Chloe, don't take it out on Anna. She hasn't done anything." I stayed where I was without saying a word. Lorenzo studied my expression. After a few seconds of silence, he sighed. "All right. The truth is I came to bring you home for dinner." The way he did it, you'd think I was the difficult, unreasonable one. "I'm not going." Lorenzo looked at me for a few seconds, then laughed. "Chloe, don't push your luck just because I love you." Then he turned to Anna. "You like that formula? Take it." I stared at Lorenzo, not believing what I'd heard. Anna pulled her hand back with a great show of reluctance. "That doesn't seem right. Chloe worked so hard on this." Lorenzo let out a short, scornful laugh. "It's fine. Consider it paid for. "After all, I paid for the ingredients in Chloe's herb room, her lab equipment, even her competition entry fee. Which of those didn't come out of my pocket?" 3 My heart plummeted, and cold prickled through my fingertips. Yes. That money had come from Lorenzo. But he was the Alpha of the pack. Every formula I made, every result I got, I gave to the pack for nothing. Those costs were his to carry. I had also agreed to let him sell my formulas to other packs, and he had made a good deal of money doing it. He had paid. But I had never owed him anything. And now, with one careless sentence, everything I had done counted for nothing. Then I said, "This formula isn't for sale." He stared at me, that mocking smile still on his mouth. It was as if he had seen straight through me. "Is it not for sale, or do you just not want Anna to have it?" Anna already had the formula clenched in her hand. I walked over and pulled the sheet out of her fingers. "You're right. For anyone else I might have thought about it. "For Anna, I'd rather throw it in the trash." Anna's eyes filled with tears at once. Lorenzo's expression darkened. He seized my hand. His grip was hard, and it hurt enough to make me wince. "Apologize." "Who am I supposed to apologize to?" I asked, even though I knew perfectly well. "Anna." I burst out laughing. "Lorenzo, you want me to stand in my own herb room and apologize to the person trying to walk off with my formula?" He didn't let go. His fingers had already left red marks on my wrist. "Chloe, don't make me say it twice." In the end, I didn't apologize. Lorenzo took Anna and left, his face like ice. He said he would make a call to the competition organizers. I could compete again once I'd apologized to Anna. Sure enough, not long after they left, I got word from the organizers. They said my entry needed to be reviewed again. They phrased it carefully, but I understood. What they meant was that my competition entry had been flagged for plagiarism. "But wasn't the formula already reviewed when I entered?" "It was, but we received a report, and the rules require a second review. Please understand." Someone had reported me. I hadn't thought Lorenzo would go this far. If a reputation for plagiarism stuck to me, it would close off every road I had left. Just then my communication crystal flickered. A message from Anna. She had sent an image, and the text in it was unmistakably my formula. She had taken it upon herself to swap out several of the ingredients. She had cut the cost, but she had given no thought to how the ingredients would react with one another. Her message read, "Lorenzo says I may be more talented than certain professionals." I didn't reply. That evening Lorenzo messaged me to come to dinner. I didn't answer that either. A minute later he sent another one. "The payment for your mother's next round of treatment is due." I stared at that line, and I went cold inside. The main reason I became an herbalist was that my mother had never recovered from giving birth to me. Her treatment had cost a great deal of money. And researching herbal formulas cost money too. After I met Lorenzo, he arranged the best care for my mother without my asking. So I developed formulas for the pack gladly. I even sent him part of my meager wages every month. I didn't want to owe him anything. And now he was using my mother to threaten me. I contacted Lorenzo myself. "What is that supposed to mean?" Lorenzo's figure appeared above the crystal. He looked at me, perfectly calm. "Chloe, you forced my hand. "You turned down a family dinner, and you were rude to Anna. "I had to teach you that some things are not allowed." "So you're threatening me with my mother?" "I'm only teaching you that when it comes to me, you have to behave." I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly. "I understand." At six that evening I arrived at Lorenzo's house on time. There were already plenty of people seated in the dining room. Anna was there too. She was beautifully dressed, her hair pinned up and the moonstone pendant on full display at her throat. Her seat was between Lorenzo and Martha, as if it had always belonged to her. Martha saw me and let out a cold snort. Then I was seated as far from Lorenzo as the table allowed. The moment I sat down, Anna began with a smile. "Chloe, the more I look at that formula of yours, the more I love it. I simplified it a little, and now it costs half as much!" Martha set down her wineglass and replied unhurriedly, "Anna only just started learning, and she already has such a gift for it. She really is remarkable." "More than that, she thinks about what's best for the pack and how to save money. That's far more consideration than some people show." Someone at the table laughed. Someone raised a glass in agreement. I kept my head down, cutting my meat, and said nothing. Lorenzo looked at me from halfway down the table. "Chloe, why aren't you saying anything?" I looked up. He was pulling Anna's plate over and carefully cutting her meat into small pieces. He had never once cut my food for me. "What would you like me to say?" "Apologize to Anna, obviously." I set down my knife and fork and stood up. "Lorenzo, I'll find a way to cover my mother's treatment myself." 4 The next morning I had barely reached the healing house when Fiona pulled me into a corner. "Chloe, the healer came by this morning. He said they're moving your mother to a general ward." My head buzzed. "Why?" Fiona stumbled over her words. "Something about her billing account being frozen... "They haven't put your mother out on the street, and that's only because we all work together..." I didn't wait for her to finish before I ran for the ward, and they stopped me at the door. "Chloe, you can't go in right now..." The account had been frozen without warning, forcing them to shut down some of the advanced equipment. Even my mother's caregiver had been dismissed. While she was being moved out of the room, the shock brought on a heart attack, and her condition was critical. The healer looked at me and sighed. "I'm sorry. None of us expected this either. "But Anna, the Alpha's assistant, came in person to suspend the payments, and she dismissed the caregiver herself. There was nothing we could do." He paused. "We're colleagues. I'll do everything I can. "But raise the money as quickly as you can. I've covered the outstanding charges for now." I watched as my mother was lifted onto a stretcher and taken into the operating room. Her hand hung down over the edge of the stretcher, the fingertips purple. Shaking, I contacted every friend I could think of. After I got together with Lorenzo, his possessiveness had cut me off from all of my old friends. But thank goodness, they were still willing to take my calls. By the time I had called them all, I had scraped together enough to prepay the next two days. Once I had steadied myself, I started calling Lorenzo. The crystal lit up and went dark again, and it took several attempts before he picked up. It looked lively on Lorenzo's end. Then I remembered what day it was: the monthly full-moon rite. They were making offerings to the Moon Goddess and praying for her blessing. My mother, meanwhile, was fighting for her life. I heard Lorenzo laugh softly. Then he said, "Why are you calling me? I thought we had nothing to do with each other anymore. "Oh, and just so you know, since there's nothing between us, I've had Anna stand in for the Luna's duties at this month's rite." I ignored everything else and asked, "Did you have Anna stop my mother's treatment payments?" He didn't deny it. "Didn't you say you'd take care of it yourself?" My voice finally caught. "Do you have any idea? She's fighting for her life! She almost—" "Then come back," Lorenzo cut in casually. "Apologize to Anna, and I'll consider resuming the payments for your mother's treatment." I closed my eyes and heard myself say, "Fine." The banquet hall was bustling when I arrived. When Lorenzo saw me, his eyes were full of smug amusement. He looked like a man watching a dog run off and come trotting back on its own. That smile seemed to say. See? He had me exactly where he wanted me. I would always bow to him until I had lowered myself into the dust. But I hadn't come to apologize. I had come to return something. "Since you're here, raise a glass to Anna and we'll put this behind us." I looked at the glass and said flatly, "I'm allergic to alcohol." Anna pressed her lips together and replied in a soft little voice, "Never mind, Lorenzo. I'm fine, really." Lorenzo frowned, displeased. "It's one sip. It won't kill you." For a second, everything went strange and distant. I still remembered the first time I had an allergic reaction, how it frightened Lorenzo so badly he didn't sleep all night. He had held my hand and promised, "From now on, anyone who makes you drink is picking a fight with me!" Expressionless, I picked up the glass. Then I walked over to Anna. Anna was still putting on her act. "Chloe, you don't have to drink. I accept your apology." I raised my hand and splashed the entire glass of wine in her face. The red wine streamed down her forehead and clung to her lashes, smearing her immaculate makeup. The whole room went silent. Smack! Anna's scream rang out at the same moment Lorenzo's slap landed. He looked at me, furious. "Chloe, have you lost your mind?" There was a taste of rust in my mouth. I pressed my tongue to the inside of my cheek. It had split. Then I took a bone dagger from my pocket and, with exaggerated care, tucked it into Anna's belt. Lorenzo had given it to me when we made things official. He'd told me that bone dagger was the only thing his father left him. "I won't apologize. "The mating is off. I meant that. "I'll repay you for the treatment costs. "As of today, I have nothing to do with you or the Moonlight Pack." Lorenzo was about to lose his temper, but I kept talking. "Lorenzo, my mother suffered a heart attack when she was forced out of her room today. She nearly didn't make it." My throat tightened, but I forced the words out one by one. "You win. "You nearly killed my mother to settle a score for Anna. "From now on, whatever you do, I won't ask, I won't interfere, and I won't care."