第1章
Thanksgiving afternoon.
For the fifth year in a row, I stayed behind at Nana's old house instead of joining the family, because Nana had another one of her episodes.
I had just finished changing her diaper pad when I turned around and caught the supposedly severely demented old woman speaking clearly into her phone, sharp as if she were a different person entirely.
"Diana, you and Richard just go enjoy Sienna and Ethan's wedding. Don't worry about a thing."
"That silly girl is dumb as a rock. I've been faking it this long, and she hasn't caught on once."
Diana is my mother.
Sienna and Ethan. One is my little sister. The other is the boyfriend I've been long-distance with for five years.
I waited until Nana was asleep, then took her phone.
There was a seven-person family group chat that I wasn't in, and right now it was buzzing like Christmas Eve.
Diana: 【Our two kids are finally getting married. Mom's so happy for you both.】
Richard: 【Dad booked the best available date at the church. Wishing you a lifetime together.】
Right after, my brother Julian Carter sent a Venmo transfer to the chat. $20,000.
My best friend Madison Hale posted a photo of the preserved flower bouquet she'd made by hand.
Ethan Vance, who had been whispering sweet nothings to me over the phone the night before, was now in that chat, making vows to another woman.
Ethan: 【Thanks for all the well-wishes, everyone. I promise I'll love Sienna well.】
In that moment, I felt sorrier for myself than I ever had in my life.
The year my parents divorced, Dad took Julian, the brother who topped every class at school.
Mom took Sienna, the pretty one who always knew what to say and how to charm a room.
I was the one they left behind, with a grandmother who could barely walk.
Mom's phone wallpaper was a family photo with me cropped out.
When Dad set up the Verizon family plan with five lines, he'd rather give the last slot to a neighbor than to me.
For years I told myself it was because I wasn't good enough. So I ground through grad school, threw myself into work, and made sure Nana was taken care of down to the last detail.
But looking at that group chat, I finally understood.
It was never that I wasn't good enough.
They had simply never loved me.
......
I called an Uber from the driveway and headed straight for New York.
By the time I got to the hotel, the rehearsal was still underway.
I picked an empty seat in the back corner and slipped into it without a word.
On the platform, Sienna was in white. Ethan had his arm around her waist, smiling with a warmth so gentle it looked real.
Dad, the man who had never cracked in front of anyone, kept dabbing at the corner of his eye with the back of his hand. Mom stood beside him, quietly crying.
Madison was carefully touching up Sienna's lipstick.
Julian had a camcorder on his shoulder, capturing every frame.
Six people. All of them right where they were supposed to be.
Everyone except me.
The older woman seated beside me glanced over and gave my shoulder a friendly pat.
"Sweetheart, are you a guest of the bride's?"
I pulled the corners of my mouth up and nodded.
"Distant cousin."
She warmed to me instantly and kept going.
"You probably don't know this, but those two have been through a lot to get here."
"They did long-distance for half a year. The groom flew out every single weekend to see her. He's got a shoebox full of boarding passes."
"Then she started really breaking down over it. So he turned down an offer in London. Just like that. That's no small sacrifice."
"During Covid a couple of years back, she caught it. He walked straight into a quarantine zone to take care of her. Almost lost his own life doing it."
"Last month, for her birthday, he rented out all of Six Flags. The whole park. Isn't that romantic?"
"If my daughter married a man like that, I'd sleep easy at night."
She kept going. I stopped hearing her.
So that was it.
Ethan hadn't turned down London because he needed to "think carefully about long-term prospects."
He'd turned it down because the person he actually thought about, every day, was in New York.
And the part that made my chest go cold.
Eight years together. Five of them long-distance. And Ethan had never once come to Boston.
He was always too busy. Flights were always too expensive.
So I felt sorry for him and flew to New York, over and over.
Off a night shift, straight onto a red-eye. First thing I did in his apartment was clear the takeout containers off his floor.
He never once remembered my birthday.
Last year I reminded him a full week ahead of time, and at 3 a.m. of the day, he still hadn't clocked it.
I ended up crying and yelling before he finally sent me a bracelet.
The same one he'd given me the year before.
During that Covid lockdown, I spent forty-plus days alone in my rental in Boston. My pantry ran out.
On his end, the PlayStation was blasting.
"There's nothing I can do, babe. Just drink lots of water. Take care of yourself."
My chest felt like it was packed with a soaked towel.
I got up and made it to the restroom a second before the tears fell.
I fixed the mascara I'd smudged, took a breath, and FaceTimed Ethan.
It rang for a long time before his stiff face finally appeared on the screen.
Behind him, I heard Madison hiss, "Quiet."
I pretended not to.
"Ethan, I thought you said you were working late. You don't exactly look like you're at the studio."
He forced out a tired smile.
"Don't even ask. Last-minute wedding shoot came in. I'm dead on my feet."
I didn't answer. My eyes fixed on the groom's boutonnière he'd forgotten to take off.
He kept talking as he turned the camera toward the ballroom.
"See? They just finished setting up. We're not wrapped yet."
I didn't call him out. I swallowed the sting climbing up my nose.
"Okay. Got it."
"Just drop me your location. I'll come spend Thanksgiving with you."
He froze for a beat. The smile almost slipped.
"No, no, don't. It's chaos here. I wouldn't even be able to look after you."
Before he could finish, a familiar face leaned into the frame.
It was his childhood friend Blake Morrison, grinning at the camera like nothing was off.
"Hey, sis-in-law. Ethan's really slammed right now. I'm here with him. We'll catch up with you later, okay?"
Before I could react, the call cut.
A second later, Nana's phone buzzed in my pocket.
Ethan had dropped a frantic voice message in the family group chat.
Ethan: 【We've got a problem. Sloane just said she's coming to find me. Somebody figure out how to stall her.】
第2章
Mom was the first to jump in.
Diana: 【I'll call her in a minute. I'll tell her I've got a pumpkin pie for her and she needs to pick it up at the UPS Store.】
Diana: 【A client sent me a box a couple of days ago. It got squished in shipping. Perfect thing to hand off to her.】
Diana: 【That girl's always been a sucker for food. Give her something to eat and she'll forget all about you guys.】
A second later, Mom's message hit my phone.
The box in the photo was crushed in at one corner. Inside was a whole pumpkin pie.
Diana: 【Sloane, I know it hasn't been easy taking care of Nana.】
Diana: 【Mom got you a pumpkin pie. Go pick it up at the UPS Store out past the edge of town.】
I couldn't help the bitter laugh.
The round trip from Nana's place to that UPS Store was six hours. By the time I had the pie in my hands, the wedding would be long over.
I didn't reply. My eyes stayed on that pumpkin pie.
Pumpkin pie is loaded with eggs.
I've had a severe egg allergy since I was a kid. Even one bite would send hives across my whole body.
When I was little, to make Mom happy, I would force it down every single time.
All I ever got in return was, "You just can't say no to food, can you."
She never knew about the allergy. She never knew I don't even like pumpkin pie.
I forced the tears back and typed a reply.
Sloane: 【Thanks, Mom. I'll send a DoorDash for it.】
She detonated instantly.
Diana: 【DoorDash? What, you don't have legs? You have to throw money away like that?】
Diana: 【Your father and I raised you. When did you get so ungrateful?】
Ungrateful.
I don't even know how many times I heard that word from my parents growing up.
When Julian brought home highest grades in his class, Dad walked out and bought him the newest PlayStation that same day.
When Sienna landed at the bottom of the class, Mom went and got her a limited-edition Barbie as a pick-me-up.
I once handed my mother a test with a perfect score, hoping she'd finally get me the glasses she'd promised.
She just tossed a line at me.
"You need glasses already? At your age? Do you have any idea how hard your father and I work? Why do you have to be so ungrateful?"
Whenever we had roast chicken, if I didn't automatically take the smallest drumstick, I was ungrateful.
After we moved and rooms got tight, if I didn't volunteer to sleep in the attic, I was ungrateful.
The truth was, I was never ungrateful.
They just thought I didn't deserve better.
Fine.
Then I really was done being the good one.
Sloane: 【Never mind. I don't want the pie. Return it.】
Mom hadn't expected that. She started blasting me in the group chat, calling me heartless.
A second later, Madison called.
The instant I picked up, her voice came through, cracking with sobs.
"Sloane, my ex is back. He's outside my apartment right now. I'm really scared."
Something inside my chest went cold and still.
Three years ago, that ex of hers had shown up drunk and started harassing her. I was the one who stepped between them. I came this close to getting cut open on an artery.
She had sworn that day, in tears, that she'd have my back for the rest of her life.
Now she was using that history to help someone else lie to me.
"Oh. Then call the cops."
I hung up.
Right after that, Julian and Dad took turns calling, each with a different excuse.
I didn't fall for any of them.
The family group chat lit up. All of them, in one voice, coming down on me.
Message after message, vicious, needle-sharp, each one like another needle driven into my chest.
This time, I couldn't invent a single reason to defend their favoritism anymore.
I choked the tears back down and called my boss.
"Mr. Whitaker. The Lisbon posting you mentioned. Is that spot still open?"
第3章
Eventually, they tired of yelling and stopped.
Diana: 【Forget it. Nana's out there. She'll find a way to hold Sloane back.】
Diana: 【Sienna's wedding is what matters right now. Let's not waste time on people who don't count.】
I laughed.
My boyfriend's wedding. How could I possibly be someone who didn't count.
Half an hour later, the ceremony officially began.
Balloons and flowers everywhere. Ribbons drifting through the air, celebrating the newlyweds.
The vows were exchanged. Sienna rose up on her toes, shy.
Just as the two of them were about to kiss, the ballroom doors flew open.
The air in the room froze.
Julian stiffened.
"How are you..."
I finished for him.
"How am I here? How come Nana didn't warn you in time?"
Mom and Dad went pale. Madison stood up, ready to head me off.
The officiant recovered fastest and jumped in to smooth things over.
"This young lady must be a late-arriving special guest. Please, come sit in the front row."
I walked straight up to the platform and took the microphone from his hand.
"I'm not a special guest."
"I'm Ethan Vance's girlfriend of five years."
"And the bride is my biological sister."
The ballroom erupted.
Dad's face went dark.
"What the hell are you talking about? Get down. Now."
Mom snatched the mic.
"So sorry, everyone. This poor girl ran a very high fever as a child. It affected her mind. She's had trouble telling reality from fantasy ever since."
"She's been infatuated with Ethan since she was a kid. Seeing him get married today must have set her off."
Julian grabbed my arm. Madison shoved me from the other side.
Ethan strode up and dropped his voice low.
"Sloane. Let me explain. I have my reasons. After the wedding, I'll tell you everything."
Before I could react, the three of them were half-carrying me out of the ballroom.
Slap.
Mom's hand came up and cracked across my face. My left cheek was swelling by the second.
"Sloane Carter. You won't stop until this whole family is humiliated, will you?"
I held my cheek. Tears fell in fat, heavy drops.
"I'm the humiliation?"
"So Sienna being the other woman, that's fine?"
Dad's eyes went ice cold.
"They got their marriage license last month. Technically, you're the other woman."
Julian leaned against the wall and sighed.
"We knew you'd make a scene. That's exactly why we kept it from you."
Madison wouldn't meet my eye.
"Sloane. Just keep some dignity for yourself."
"Ethan doesn't love you anymore. Clinging on isn't going to change that. Just let them have this."
Let them have it.
I laughed.
When Mom's back was bothering her, I combed every store in Boston to find her the best therapy device.
When Dad blew tens of thousands on stocks, I picked up overtime shifts to plug the hole for him.
When Julian got into that car accident, I gave up a promotion I'd been fighting for all quarter, took time off, and sat by his hospital bed.
And now, they were asking me to step aside for the people who had gutted me.
"In your dreams."
Madison saw my face and gave a resigned shake of her head.
"I really wasn't going to show you these. But at this point, I think you need to see them."
She sent a shared album to my phone.
Every step of Ethan and Sienna, from strangers to lovers, laid out in pictures.
Them holding hands and running through the surf in the Maldives. Kissing under fireworks at the Eiffel Tower.
Him carrying her over a puddle after the rain. Her wiping sweat off his forehead.
I looked at the dates stamped on the photos, and something inside my chest just hollowed out.
So my eight years with him had five of theirs sitting inside it.
Every single person had known. Every single person had chosen to keep it from me.
Just like that, I didn't even have the energy to fight anymore.
Right on cue, my phone buzzed. A flight notification popped up.
【Ms. Carter, your booking to Lisbon has been confirmed. Please arrive at the terminal two hours before departure.】
I pulled off the promise ring Ethan had given me and, with everything I had, threw it into the storm drain beside me.
"Fine. I'll let you have this."
"But starting today, you and I are nothing to each other."