Ninety-Nine Favor Coupons—Then I Was Gone

When I was little, Mom told me I'd damaged Gemma, my sister's hearing, so she and Dad gave Gemma ninety-nine "favor coupons"——every time she cashed one in, I had to give in. On my birthday, Gemma wanted mango cake. She used one of her coupons, and Mom replaced my birthday cake with mango cake, even though I was allergic to it. When Gemma got caught smoking at school, she used another coupon, and Mom made me take the blame for her. The whole school thought I was a troublemaker. For an entire year, no one would so much as talk to me. ... Between the ages of eight and eighteen, Gemma used ninety-six coupons. And ninety-six times, I was the one pushed aside. I thought that once she used the last three, Mom and Dad would finally love me as much as they loved her. Then one day, while helping Mom clean, I found a medical report from eighteen years ago. It read: [Gemma Colton, two-month-old infant. Congenital hearing loss in the right ear.] A chill swept through my entire body. So the story about me damaging her hearing had been a lie. However, my parents not loving me was real. There was no reason to keep hoping anymore. Chapter 1 I should've realized a long time ago that my parents didn't love me. After all, my name was Livia Colton, while my sister was Gemma Colton—the precious jewel of the family. I rubbed my tired eyes and glanced down at my phone. Messages were pouring into our family group chat. As I scrolled up, I accidentally tapped on a cash gift. It wasn't much—twenty dollars. My mother, Brianna Colton, had just sent it with a note: [For Gemma to get a milkshake.] My fingers froze. I instinctively tried to send the money back, but there was no way to undo it. The transaction was already sitting there in the group chat for everyone to see. A second later, Gemma sent a voice message, her sarcasm impossible to miss. "Seriously, Livia? You're taking my milkshake money now? Mom sent that specifically for me. You sure were quick to grab it." Mom immediately chimed in: [Livia, send the twenty dollars back to Gemma. Her right ear has been bothering her lately, and she just wants something sweet to cheer herself up. Don't fight with her over something so trivial.] A faint ache stirred in my chest. Without a word, I sent Gemma twenty dollars and put my phone down. Almost immediately, I heard her whining from the living room. She had both hands wrapped around Mom's arm, swinging it back and forth as she begged for new clothes now that she'd graduated. I'd never been allowed that kind of affection. Maybe I'd been staring too long, because Mom suddenly shot me a look. "Livia, why can't you be more like Gemma? If you want something, just say so. Stop standing around looking miserable all the time. It's pathetic." Asking for something and actually getting it was a privilege reserved for the favorite child, not me. In the end, Mom brought me along when she took Gemma shopping. Store after store, she held dresses up against Gemma and bought whatever she wanted. At the last store, a dress finally caught my eye. It was a simple white dress, exactly the kind I'd secretly loved for years. And for once, it was available in my size. I gathered my courage. "Mom, can I try this one on?" Before she could answer, Gemma grabbed the dress and refused to let go. Then she pulled out a brand-new "favor coupon" and shoved it into Mom's hand. "Mom, I like this one too. I'm using a favor coupon. The dress is mine." Mom hesitated. A sales associate nearby tried to smooth things over. "I'm not sure this size will work for you. We have some new styles over here. Would you like to take a look?" Gemma didn't budge. "So what if it doesn't fit? I like it. Besides, she owes me." Mom immediately stepped forward and pried my fingers off the dress. When she looked at me, her expression turned cold. "You're older than she is. Does one more or one less dress really matter that much? Gemma has hearing problems. Whenever she gets upset, her right ear starts ringing and bothering her. Just let her have it." I stood there, my fingers curling tightly into my palms. Clothes. School supplies. Snacks... Ever since we were children, whenever Gemma pulled out one of those favor coupons, I was always the one who had to give in. I even delayed my school enrollment by one year in order to take care of her and be in the same class as her. The weight of the previous ninety-six times came rushing back. I swallowed the ache in my throat and asked softly, "Mom, if I were the one with damaged hearing, would you make Gemma give in to me every time too?" I couldn't stop myself from wondering. What if Mom only loved Gemma more because of her hearing problems? Mom's eyes flickered at my question. Then her voice rose sharply. "Why do you have to compete with your sister over everything? It's just a dress. Do you really have to make such a big deal out of something so trivial? Gemma's hearing problems are your fault in the first place. Instead of showing some consideration, you constantly compare yourself to her. How can you be so petty?" My fault? Those two words crushed the last fragile piece of hope I'd been holding on to. When it came to owing someone, Gemma was the only one who ever mattered. What I was owed never even entered the equation. Just then, Gemma emerged from the fitting room in the dress that didn't fit her, twirling around with a smug smile. As she passed me, she deliberately bumped into my shoulder and lowered her voice to say, "You ruined my hearing, remember? You owe me. That means you should give me whatever I want." I lowered my eyes and looked away, not arguing again. On the way home, I took out my notebook and wrote in the ninety-seventh box: [Gave the dress to Gemma.] Two boxes remained. I stared through the window at the darkness outside, feeling nothing but emptiness inside. Once she used those final two coupons, I would leave the small town that had trapped me for eighteen years, and I would never come back. Chapter 2 I looked over the earlier boxes in my notebook. Every entry felt like another knife wound. In box ninety-six, I'd written: [She threw away my SAT prep materials.] Just reading those words brought back the cold, driving rain that night. Three months before the SAT, I'd packed an entire year's worth of study guides, notes on every question I'd gotten wrong, and practice tests from top tutors into a canvas backpack. I went through them whenever I had a spare moment. Then, while I was in the shower, Gemma threw everything away. By the time I realized my books were missing, it was already dark outside. Panicked, I grabbed Gemma and demanded to know where she'd put them. She didn't look remotely guilty. Instead, she smiled, pulled favor coupon number ninety-six from her pocket, and handed it to Mom, who'd come running at the commotion. "Mom, I'm using a favor coupon. I'm just sick of Livia doing nothing but studying all day. I threw those books away, so what? Tell her to stop yelling at me." Mom clutched the coupon and immediately stepped between us. "They're just a few books! Print them out again and rewrite your notes. Why are you scaring Gemma over something like this? Her hearing is already fragile. If you make her right ear ring or give her a headache from all that yelling, are you going to take responsibility?" My eyes burned with panic, and even my voice was shaking. "Those notes have every question I've gotten wrong for the past year, and some of those practice tests aren't available anymore. The SAT is only three months away. How am I supposed to recreate all of that?" My father, Fred Colton, sat on the couch scrolling through his phone. "You're smart. Losing a few study materials won't affect your score. Gemma was just messing around. Stop making such a big deal out of it." He barely even looked up. "She used a favor coupon. That settles it. I don't want to hear another word about this." I ran downstairs and searched through the bushes. It was pitch-black, and rain was pouring down. Branches scratched my legs until they bled, but I refused to stop looking. It was after midnight when I finally found my study materials. The rain had reduced them to a soggy, pulpy mess. They were completely unusable. I crouched among the thorny bushes, picking up the ruined pages one by one. Cold wind cut across my face as tears mixed with the rain. But none of it felt as cold as the emptiness inside me. A neighbor passing by saw the state I was in and came over to help. Mom and Dad stood in the doorway of our building, comforting Gemma because she was upset. Neither of them even bothered to come downstairs and check on me. When I finally got home, I was clutching my soaked, ruined books. I was feverish and covered in scratches, but I still went to my parents and asked if they could give me some money to replace the materials. Mom waved me away impatiently. "The money we have is for Gemma's education. Figure this out yourself. You're the one who insisted on making a big deal out of what she did." In the end, I rebuilt everything myself, staying up until three every morning to recreate an entire year's worth of notes and study materials. My thoughts returned to the present. I ran my fingers over the words in box ninety-six and almost laughed. Back then, I'd worked myself to the bone because I wanted to become a doctor. I'd thought that one day, I could fix Gemma's hearing and finally repay everything I supposedly owed her. But I'd never owed her anything in the first place. Suddenly, my phone rang. It was my homeroom teacher, Naomi Pierce. "Livia, the school gives a grant to outstanding graduating seniors every year. If you need the money, come by tomorrow and fill out the application." "Okay. Thank you. I'll be there." I knew I'd need every dollar I could get if I wanted to leave my family and go to college on my own. But the moment I hung up and opened my bedroom door, I found Gemma standing outside. She'd been listening. She didn't even have the decency to look embarrassed about being caught. Instead, she ordered, "Livia, give me that grant." Chapter 3 Gemma threw a tantrum right in front of Mom and Dad, kicking her feet against the floor as tears instantly filled her eyes. "I want the newest tablet! Everyone in my class got one for graduation except me. I can't even play games properly without one!" She pulled favor coupon number ninety-eight from the pink cardholder she carried and slapped it down on the wooden dining table. Then she shot me a smug look, as though what she was about to demand was the most reasonable thing in the world. "Mom, I'm using this favor coupon. Give me Livia's grant so I can use the money to buy a tablet!" Mom took the coupon as naturally as she always did. After glancing at me, she said, "Livia, tell your teacher Gemma needs the grant more. Give us the application paperwork so we can transfer it to her." Dad put down his phone and chimed in as if there were nothing wrong with any of this, "What's the big deal about letting Gemma have something she wants for once? Don't forget, you're the reason she can't hear properly. Stop being so stingy over a little money." My fingers tightened around the edge of the table until my knuckles turned white. Eighteen years of resentment finally became too much to swallow. "That's my grant. The school is giving it to me because I've worked throughout high school to support myself and maintained excellent grades. Why should she get it just because you say so?" For the first time in my life, I raised my voice and openly defied them. Mom and Dad stared at me in shock. Even Gemma froze. "Gemma has never had to worry about anything. You buy her clothes and jewelry and give her spending money whenever she wants it. Meanwhile, what I make from my part-time job every month is barely enough to feed myself, and you've never once asked if I was struggling. Why am I always the one who has to sacrifice so she can get what she wants?" When Gemma realized I was actually fighting back, she cried even harder and threw herself into Mom's arms, clutching her sleeve. "Livia hates me! She's deliberately trying to take things away from me. She's the one who ruined my hearing in the first place, and now she won't even let me have one little thing!" That was all it took to ignite Mom's anger. She shot to her feet, stormed over to me, and slapped me hard across the face. The crack echoed through the silent living room. Pain exploded across my cheek, followed by a high-pitched ringing in my ears. The force of the blow snapped my head to the side, and the inside of my lip caught against my teeth, filling my mouth with the faint taste of blood. "I raised you for eighteen years, and this is how you repay me? Talking back to your family and fighting Gemma over everything?" Mom's chest heaved as she glared at me with undisguised disgust. "You hurt Gemma's right ear when she was little. You're perfectly healthy. What's wrong with letting her have something for once?" I'd been giving in to her for eighteen years. Wasn't that enough? I pressed a hand to my burning cheek. My eyes stung, but I stubbornly refused to let a single tear fall. It didn't matter how obedient I was. The moment I refused Gemma anything, I was always the one at fault. But they were the selfish ones. They were the cowards. The medical report diagnosing Gemma with congenital hearing loss in the right ear flashed through my mind again. Something inside my chest turned to ice. "I didn't hurt her ear," I said quietly, my voice trembling despite my best efforts. I almost told them about the medical report, but I stopped myself. There was no point exposing the truth now. They would only find another way to blame me. All I had to do was finish my SATs and get out of here for good. Mom assumed I was making excuses out of spite. She gave a cold laugh and turned to Dad. "Go to the school first thing tomorrow morning and talk to Ms. Pierce. Have the grant transferred to Gemma. I'll get the paperwork." That night, while I was washing up, Mom forced open my desk drawer and took all my application documents. I didn't find out until Ms. Pierce called me, sounding both regretful and helpless. "Livia, your mother said Gemma has health problems and insisted the grant be transferred to her. I tried to stop her, but I couldn't." After the call ended, I walked into the living room. Gemma was playing with the favor coupon she'd just used. A moment later, she crumpled it into a ball and tossed it into the trash. Mom and Dad sat around her, happily discussing which tablet she should buy. Their laughter filled the room. I'd always been the extra one in this family. So why should I care anymore? I went back to my room, picked up a pencil, and crossed out box ninety-eight. Then I wrote: [Gave my grant to Gemma.] Only one favor coupon remained. Once she used it, the debt I owed my parents for raising me would finally be paid. When I applied to college, I'd choose one as far away as possible. After that, there would be enough distance between us that we'd never have to see each other again. Chapter 4 The day our SAT scores came out, Mom and Dad sat with Gemma in the living room, waiting for her results to load. I was alone in my bedroom, checking mine on an old phone they'd thrown away. The phone was so slow that the page just kept loading. Outside my door, I heard Mom comforting Gemma gently, "Gemma, you did great. You got a 1040. I'm so proud of you!" It wasn't until noon that I finally managed to pull up my own score. 1580. I gripped the phone and let out a long breath. Finally, I had what I needed to get out of here. That evening, Mom casually asked what I'd scored. Before I could answer, Gemma spoke up, "She got a 1580. Highest score in our whole school." Then her eyes suddenly reddened. "If my hearing were normal, maybe I wouldn't be so stupid. I wouldn't have gotten such a terrible score. Mom, maybe I shouldn't have survived back then." Mom shot me a disgusted look before immediately turning to comfort Gemma. "We don't care how high she scored. You'll always be the one we're proud of." Something twisted painfully inside my chest. When you were loved, even a bad score couldn't disappoint them. When you weren't, even being the top student in school meant nothing. Gemma's score wasn't even competitive for most colleges. Mom looked between our score reports, then suddenly took my hand as if what she was about to ask were perfectly reasonable. "Livia, it doesn't matter how high your score is. Money is tight right now, and Gemma wants to go to a private college. Tuition and housing will cost tens of thousands of dollars a year. Over four years, that's a fortune. "You might as well not go to college. Get a factory job instead and send your entire paycheck home every month. You can pay Gemma's way through school." My head snapped up. I'd earned that 1580 through years of studying until I could barely keep my eyes open. That score was my future. Somehow, to them, it was worth less than sending Gemma to an expensive private college. "It's my life. I'm going to college too." My voice trembled. Dad immediately sided with Mom. "What's the point of a girl getting that much education? Gemma has hearing problems. It'll be harder for her to find a job, so she needs a degree. You're perfectly healthy. Your responsibility is to start working early and help support this family." He paused before adding, "Besides, she used a favor coupon. Just give in to her one last time." Gemma lounged against the couch and spoke as if she were asking for nothing at all. "You're so smart, Livia. You'll have plenty of chances to go to college later. This is my only chance to get a degree. What's so hard about letting me have it?" The last trace of affection I had for them disappeared, but I didn't let it show. Instead, I pretended to give in. "Fine. I'll do what you want. I'll get a job and won't apply to college." The moment I agreed, Mom and Dad broke into relieved smiles. They immediately turned back to Gemma and began discussing which private colleges she could attend. Neither of them asked me another question. It never occurred to them that the obedient daughter they'd raised might be lying. I found a summer job and never went home again. When it was time to submit college applications, I kept it from everyone and secretly put Brighton University, thousands of miles away, at the top of my list. The day my acceptance letter arrived, I packed everything I owned into a single suitcase and quietly boarded a train headed for Cedarwick. Before it departed, I deleted every member of my family from my contacts and blocked their numbers. The moment Mom and Dad realized I was gone, they panicked.