Real Heir Only Wants to Die This Time

At the reunion dinner, my adopted brother, Isaac Johnson, whispers in my ear, "The Johnson family only needs one son. You're just a country bumpkin. We don't need you here." I think he's right. So, I run straight into traffic at the intersection. My family is terrified. They rush over and manage to pull me back from the road. My sister, Rebecca Johnson, turns pale with anger and warns me not to upset Isaac again. I obediently nod. Then, late that night, I turn on the gas and leave a suicide note. "It's my fault for upsetting Isaac. I'll take the whole family to heaven with me. None of us will ever have to suffer again." My family stares at me as if I've gone mad. Later, at a party, Isaac and his friends push me into the pool. But I don't struggle. I simply let myself sink slowly to the bottom. Isaac panics and has no choice but to jump in and pull me out again. "Idiot! What if you really drowned? Mom and Dad would hate me! Couldn't you at least struggle?" What he doesn't know is that I've fought back before. But every time, it only ended with me dying a horrible death. This is my tenth time being reborn. This time, I just want to die. Chapter 1 My stomach burned like fire from all the pool chemicals I had swallowed. My sister, Rebecca Johnson, helped me out of the water. I collapsed at the edge of the pool, coughing up water. I was barely conscious. My adopted brother, Isaac Johnson, turned deathly pale. His friends panicked right along with him, all blurting out excuses at once. "We were just messing around!" "Yeah! Who knew he'd jump in himself?" "Who stays totally still while drowning anyway? Is he trying to frame us?" I was shivering so hard that my teeth were chattering. I wrapped myself in the sweater Rebecca offered me. Even then, I managed to force a smile at my adopted brother. "Isaac, you told me to jump into the pool, so I did. I always listen to you." Isaac shuddered under my gaze and took a few steps back, looking at me like I was some kind of monster. "What crazy nonsense are you talking about?" he yelled. "When did I ever tell you to do that?" Desperate and nearly in tears, he turned to our parents as they rushed over. "Mom, Dad, don't listen to Carl! He's crazy! He's doing this on purpose to frame me!" Our parents frowned as they looked me over, their faces darkening when they saw me soaked from head to toe. One of Isaac's rich friends stepped up and tried to back him up. "Carl really jumped in on his own! We tried to save him, but he wouldn't even come up!" I peeked out from behind Rebecca, looking completely innocent. "I wasn't refusing to come up. It's just that I have to do whatever Isaac tells me to do. Otherwise, he'll be upset. If he's upset, the three of you will be upset too." I looked at them and asked seriously, "So what do I have to do to make you all happy?" Everyone fell silent and stared at me as if I were insane. Rebecca froze. She grabbed my arm, her long nails digging deep into my skin. "Carl Johnson, shut up!" Dad barked at the butler, "Take Carl to his room and get a doctor to check him over!" Then he turned to Isaac, his expression unusually stern. "Isaac, you come with me." Isaac had always been the family's favorite. No one had ever been harsh with him. Rattled by Dad's tone, he broke down sobbing. "Dad, it really wasn't me…" Chapter 2 Looking at my family's grim faces, I felt completely exhausted. I had no idea what it would take to make them happy. When Isaac lost his dog, he put a collar around my neck, made me eat dog food, and forced me to sleep in a doghouse, turning me into his new plaything. When he went camping with his friends, he locked me tight inside a sealed sleeping bag and kicked me down the hillside. My head and body slammed into the sharp rocks. The pain was so intense that I eventually went numb and could barely breathe. Looking down at my twisted, broken body, he just curled his lip in contempt. "I guess the quality of this sleeping bag is pretty terrible," he said. "I'll definitely leave a bad review! Good thing you tested it out for me." This time around, I didn't resist his torture anymore. I didn't know why Mom, Dad, and Rebecca were still upset with me. After the doctor finished examining me, Mom came in with a cup of warm milk and sat beside my bed. She looked at me with a complicated expression. "Carl, tell me. Do you... really hate this family?" I shook my head. "No." "Then why did you do those things? Why do you keep hurting yourself?" Mom pressed. I held the cup of warm milk and took small sips before answering seriously, "I just wanted everyone to be happy." Mom's eyes instantly welled up with tears. "You're my son. You don't have to try to please anyone." I set the cup down and looked up at her. "But ever since I came back, Isaac hasn't been happy, and neither has Rebecca. Mom, was finding me a mistake?" Mom was stunned for a moment. She pulled me into a tight embrace and comforted me. "No, Carl. How could it be a mistake? You're my precious son." Her hug was warm, yet it reminded me of one of my previous lives. Back then, Isaac had slashed his own hand with a knife and cried as he collapsed into Mom's arms. She locked me in the pitch-black storage room and let Isaac turn on the gas valve, forcing me to breathe in the fumes until I learned my lesson and stopped "hurting" my brother. At that time, I didn't understand what I had done wrong. I just wanted to survive and be loved by everyone. Yet now that I only sought death, Mom was calling me her precious child. The next day, the family held a meeting. Isaac had cried all night, leaving his eyes swollen. "I really didn't push him," he sobbed. "I was just… scared. I was scared that once he came back, you wouldn't want me anymore." Rebecca felt sorry for him and immediately defended him. "Mom, Isaac didn't mean it. He's just insecure. Look at Carl. He's only been back for a few days, and he's already turned the entire house upside down!" She pointed at me with pure disgust. "There's something seriously wrong with him!" Dad rubbed his temples, letting out a helpless sigh. "We can't go on like this. Let's find a psychiatrist to get Carl some help." On the day of the appointment, I was remarkably cooperative, answering every question the psychiatrist asked. "Why do you keep wanting to die?" Sitting on the soft sofa, I smiled and replied, "Because it's the easiest way to make all the problems go away." The psychiatrist adjusted his glasses and tried to reason with me. "Have you ever considered that if you die, the people who love you will be heartbroken?" I blinked, asking out of genuine curiosity, "Love me? Do you mean like the workers at the orphanage, who claimed they loved me while watching the other kids beat me up and doing nothing? "Or like the human traffickers, who called me their good boy while locking me in a dog cage? "Or… like my sister, who warns me not to upset her precious brother but only pulls me out of the pool right when I'm about to drown?" I leaned closer to the psychiatrist and whispered, "Doctor, they don't love me. They're just afraid that if I die in their house, it'll bring them trouble. They think I'm sick and need treatment. But I'm not sick. I'm just… giving them what they want. "I do whatever it takes to make them happy. If they want me to die, I'll just die. Is that still not good enough?" The psychiatrist's hand froze in midair, and his face drained of all color. Chapter 3 The psychiatrist repeated every word I'd said to my parents. His final diagnosis was simple—there was nothing wrong with me. I was just using an extreme way to protect myself and get back at the world. My mental state was like a string stretched to its breaking point. Any additional pressure could make it snap completely. For me, dying was the best way to protect myself. After hearing this, Mom locked herself in her room for the entire day. Dad smoked one cigarette after another. Only Rebecca still believed that I was putting on an act to gain sympathy. "Carl is faking it! He's fooled you all! He just wants to get rid of Isaac!" Isaac hid behind Rebecca, looking at me timidly, but I could see a hint of smugness in his eyes. "Mom, Dad, don't worry. I'll get along with Carl and help him get better," he assured them. Maybe he thought that as long as Rebecca still believed him, no one could touch him. The atmosphere at home grew increasingly suffocating. To ease the tension, my parents decided to enroll me in the elite private school Isaac and Rebecca attended. They naively believed that being around normal kids my age might help me get better. Isaac was the first to object. He threw a fit, screaming in disbelief, "I don't want to go to school with him! Everyone's going to laugh at me!" For the first time, Dad spoke to him sternly. "This decision is final." Isaac angrily ran back to his room, but I knew he wouldn't let it go that easily. Sure enough, on my first day, I became the center of attention. Word had spread that the Johnsons' long-lost son was a lunatic fresh out of a mental hospital. Isaac's friends were fussing over him, then whispering and pointing at me. "Isaac, your brother looks so creepy." "I heard he tried to blow up your whole family by leaving the gas on! If that isn't crazy, what is?" "You'd better watch your back around him." Isaac made a show of looking hurt. "Don't say that. My brother is just sick. We're family. He wouldn't hurt me." The more he defended me, the more frightening everyone thought I was. It didn't take long for everyone to start ostracizing me. No one talked to me. Someone drew a line around my desk to keep me separated from everyone else, and ink was splashed all over my textbooks. I couldn't care less. Compared to what I endured at the orphanage, this was nothing. During PE, the teacher let us choose which sports we wanted to play. One of the students sent me to get some basketballs from the equipment room. The moment I stepped inside, the door clicked shut behind me. The room went completely dark. I heard Isaac and his friends laughing outside. "Lunatics belong in cages! Who let him out of the hospital anyway?" "Isaac, do you think he'll go crazy in there and start biting himself?" Isaac laughed and said, "Maybe! Why don't you crack the door open and check?" "No way! I'm not looking!" There were still 40 minutes left until the end of class. All I had to do was sit there and wait. The darkness and cramped space gave me a sense of comfort I hadn't felt in a long time. I even started to doze off. I didn't know how much time passed before an impatient voice came from outside. "Hey! You dead in there, psycho? Make a sound if you're alive!" I ignored him. Chapter 4 Moments later, the same voice called out again, sounding slightly panicked. "Why is he so quiet? Did something actually happen to him?" "Who cares?" Isaac's voice chimed in. "Even if something happens to him, I'll take care of my mom and dad when they're old. Let him figure out how to break the door down himself. Let's go." Their footsteps gradually faded away. I closed my eyes and prepared to get some sleep. Then suddenly, a strong, choking smell filled the air. It was smoke. The fire spread quickly. In less than three minutes, the smoke was so thick that I could barely breathe. The equipment room had become a giant furnace. I didn't scream for help or try to break down the door. I just hugged a basketball and curled up in the corner farthest from the door. My consciousness began to fade. Maybe this was for the best. Maybe I could finally succeed this time. No jumping off buildings, no turning on the gas, no getting pulled back out of the water. Just quietly slipping away without causing anyone trouble. Once this life was over, I could finally leave this broken body behind and move on to my next life. No more scars covering my body. No more wrists broken time and time again. No more burn marks on my calves. I wouldn't have to spend another life desperately trying to please people while living in pain. Just as I was about to lose consciousness, a deafening bang rang out. The door had been kicked open. A figure rushed through the flames and grabbed me off the floor. It was Rebecca. Her face and clothes were streaked with soot, and her eyes were filled with panic and fear. "Carl! Wake up!" She carried me out of the fire. The lawn outside was already packed with people. When Isaac and his friends saw me being pulled out, their expressions were a mix of shock, guilt, and a barely noticeable flicker of disappointment. I was laid down on the grass and greedily gulped in the fresh air. Rebecca crouched in front of me, her voice more frantic than I'd ever heard it. "How are you? Are you hurt anywhere?" I looked at her, pressing a hand to my wound as a violent coughing fit shook my body. "Rebecca, you saved me again." I stared at her coldly, genuine regret in my voice. "Why did you save me? I was so close to finally dying." Rebecca's expression turned livid. She grabbed me by the shoulders and practically screamed, "Why didn't you call for help?! Why didn't you bang on the door? Do you really want to die? Carl Johnson, what the hell are you trying to do?" I didn't answer her. Instead, I turned my gaze toward Isaac standing in the crowd. He immediately jumped up like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. "It wasn't me! I didn't start the fire! I don't know how it happened!" His friends quickly backed him up. "We'd already left. It has nothing to do with us!" "Carl wanted to get the basketballs. We just took him to the equipment room!" Just then, the head of security ran up, panting heavily. He reported to the school administrators, "We checked. An old electrical wire shorted out and started the fire." Hearing that it was an accident, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Isaac visibly relaxed, then immediately put on his usual caring act. "Carl, thank goodness you're okay! It's our fault. We shouldn't have played that kind of prank on you and let you go get the equipment by yourself." He reached out to help me up. I shrank back instinctively. Then, I broke down in front of everyone, crying at the top of my lungs. "Isaac, I'm sorry. I should've stayed in there, but I don't like dark rooms. Next time, can you let me die in a different way?"