Tears Are a Lonely Harbor by the Sea

They called it a team dinner, but only five or six people actually showed up. Five grown men, all circling one little girl, flustered and at a loss. "So this is Second Sister?" Silas looked over. "What do you mean, Second Sister?" "One step short of Third." Silas flushed red instantly. "You're here to eat." "Well, I didn't know what to call her. Capy? Bara?" Silas swallowed. "Gail. Gail Finch." Oh. Second Sister still suits her better. Once we went in, everyone looked over. I gave them a casual glance. Among this bunch, some were old, some were balding, and one had a big belly. Put like that, Silas looked downright refined by comparison. When they looked at me, their eyes were full of mockery, but their hands never stopped fussing. In a few quick moves, they'd shoved Silas right next to Gail Finch. He glanced back at me, then sat down. It wasn't that I hadn't noticed. I just couldn't be bothered to make an issue of it. "Silas, how did you upset Capybara? It's this late at night and she's cried her eyes swollen. If she can't come to work tomorrow, that's on you." "Whoever caused it should apologize, right?" They were all watching me out of the corners of their eyes, but I paid them no attention and just started ordering off the menu. "This is a company dinner, right? Then I won't just order what I like." I pointed at the most expensive page. "These—two of each." The group traded glances. "Oh my, ma'am, you're ordering an awful lot there." I nonchalantly closed the menu. "It's fine, I can eat." When I turned back, I hadn't noticed that Silas's face had already gone quite ugly. "Didn't you see she's been crying this whole time?" I said "Oh," leaned back in my seat, and tilted my head to look at the little girl. Soft and frail, and she'd come out in full makeup too. With her eyes gone red, she looked even more pitiful. "I saw. She's been crying since she walked in. What happened? Did her mom die? Or did her dad kick the bucket?" Everyone's heads swung toward me at once, like searchlights. I generously lifted my chin toward Silas. "I already told you, you're bad luck, so stay away from her—don't jinx her to death too." The private room went so quiet you could hear a pin drop. They all kept up their damnable composure. Nobody said a word—not even Gail Finch, who was gracious enough to hold her tongue. Hm... good. I picked up my chopsticks first. "Everyone eat." It stayed dead silent the whole time, but none of their faces looked good. On the way back, Silas blew up in a big way. "Don't you think you went too far? What was that supposed to mean? How am I supposed to face work after this? Do you have any idea what everyone thinks of me now? Gail's just a foolish girl. You had to have it out with her—was that fun?" I let it go in one ear and out the other. Silas didn't come home all night. He said I didn't understand the workplace, didn't understand the bonds between coworkers. So, obedient as could be, I went in to work. The next time I got a call from Silas was half a month later. His tone was full of impatience. "Panicking?" I was silent for a moment, then answered, "Pretty panicked, yeah." The voice on the phone got noticeably better. "Good that you know you were wrong. It's not like I'm dumping you. Fine, let's have dinner together tonight. I'll send you the address." After I hung up, I panicked even more. I didn't even dare glance at the driver's seat. My male coworker had begged me for so long to get me to this dinner, and just now I'd finally said yes. If I stood him up now, he'd be unhappy.

Russ's gaze swept over me. I glanced at him, but he wasn't as angry as I'd imagined. A smile tugged at his lips. "Is that your husband? He talks... pretty harsh." "Boyfriend." Russ glanced at my phone and turned toward the location it showed. "I'll drop you off. Go easy on the drinks." Russ parked in front of the restaurant. I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached for the door. It wouldn't open. I pulled again, but the door didn't budge. When I turned around, Russ was propping his head on his hand, watching me with a faint smile. I scratched my head, embarrassed. "It's my fault today. I'll treat you to a meal another day." He didn't say anything, just held up two fingers. "Two meals?" Russ nodded, and I was a little speechless. "You really know how to take advantage of the situation." "What choice do I have? I begged you for days, finally got you to come out, and we didn't even get to eat. Your boyfriend called and you were gone with one phone call. Two meals isn't too much to ask, right?" I thought about it. I really had stood him up. "Fine, two meals." Only then was Russ satisfied, but his hand was still on the lock button. I looked at him. "Anything else?" "Yeah, there's still a lot I don't know that I need you to teach me." He looked down and tugged at his shirt. "Look at this fabric—how do you tell them apart? I don't get it." I followed his hand. The clothes he had on today were made of a very thin fabric, with a little cutout at the side of his waist. When he tugged, the lines of his waist and stomach flickered in and out of view. I looked for a couple of seconds, coughed, and shifted my eyes away. "Is that company merchandise? I've never seen it before." Russ leaned a couple of inches closer. "Then take a good look." "Where's the tag?" "Cut it off." "Then look it up online." "Can't make sense of it." I stayed quiet. Russ looked at me with an innocent face. I sighed—not out of anger, mostly because I suddenly understood Silas. He was right. What bad intentions could a newcomer at work have? They're just humbly asking for help. "We'll talk about it later." "Okay." The door finally opened. The moment I got out, I saw Silas standing at the restaurant entrance. It was very hot. He'd probably been waiting a while—his forehead was covered in sweat—and when he saw me, his face was clearly impatient. "Why are you only getting here now?" I glanced at the time. Seven minutes late. "Traffic on the way." He glanced in the direction I'd come from. Russ's car had already driven off. "You took a rideshare again?" I didn't explain, and Silas didn't press. He just tugged at his collar. "Never mind, let's go in first. Everyone's waiting." My steps stopped. "What 'everyone'?" I'd assumed he asked me here to talk about the wedding. But the second the private room door swung open, I knew I'd read too much into it. That whole pack of his good-for-nothing friends was there, and in this private little party, Gail was sitting right in the middle. There was already a good amount of liquor gone from the table, and a few men were laughing around her. When Silas walked in, her eyes lit up right away. Then she saw me, and her smile froze for half an instant before she stood and took hold of my arm. "Sis, what took you so long? We've been waiting ages for you—you should punish yourself with a couple of drinks, right?" She casually linked her arm through mine. Her tone was playful, but her hands moved fast, and two glasses of liquor were already pushed in front of me. I didn't touch them. I turned to look at Silas. I didn't say a word. Silas's eyes wandered, and he laughed it off. "Ah, Gail just wanted to join in the fun too. She... she means well for you. Don't be rude about it." I looked at Gail, and before I could even start in on her, Silas jumped in to pin a label on me. "Joyce, can you not act like this the second you walk in? Everyone here gets along fine. What's wrong with her wanting to come? Don't lose it here." He lowered his voice. "I asked you here today so the two of you could clear up that misunderstanding from before. You'll be seeing each other plenty from now on. Let's not make it this ugly every single time." I almost laughed out loud. Gail clung to my hand. "Sis, I really didn't take what happened last time to heart. I know you were upset because you care so much about Silas. I understand completely." She pushed the glass toward me. "Let's have a couple of drinks and put it behind us, okay?" At a signal from Silas, his good-for-nothing friends immediately backed her up. "Yeah, come on—Gail isn't holding a grudge, we're all friends here, don't make it so tense." "We all know she didn't mean anything by it. Gail's young, her heart's simple. Just cut her some slack." I looked around the room. Interesting. I shoved Silas aside and sat down right next to Gail. "I can drink." Gail was startled, then broke into a smile. "I knew Sis wasn't a petty person." I gave a cold smile and picked up the glass. "But drinking like this is no fun. I drink one, you drink one." Silas jumped in at once. "She has a bad stomach." I turned my head to look at him. He realized himself that he'd spoken too fast, and his face stiffened slightly. I asked with a smile that wasn't a smile, "You know your coworker pretty well." "Come on, we're in the same department, we see each other every day. Isn't it perfectly normal to know she's got a bad stomach? Don't make a big deal out of it." "Did I say it wasn't normal?" Silas was stuck for words. Gail hurried in. "Sis, don't misunderstand. Silas just looks out for me. I just graduated, there's a lot I don't know, and everyone in his department's been really good to me." She pressed her lips together in a cute little smile, and the eyes turning toward me were full of resentment, as if I were the one being unreasonable. Then Gail changed her tune. "Besides, Sis... I really can't hold my liquor." The few people beside her burst out laughing. "Gail can't drink? Quit pretending!" "Who nearly drank all of us until we puked the other day?" "Yeah, one drink short, one piece of clothing off—you drank Silas down to nothing but his shorts! And you say you can't drink? Hahaha!" The whole room broke into laughter. Silas's expression didn't change as he coughed. "What are you talking about?" The guy who'd spoken was drunk and still laughing. "What do you mean, what am I talking about? Weren't you and Gail the last two drinking that night? I opened my eyes and you were down to your shorts." Someone nearby gave him a nudge, and he finally shut his mouth. I nodded. So they have this kind of department team building. Nice. Gail flushed red. "They're just joking, Sis, don't read into it." "I'm not reading into it. Come on—I can't hold my liquor either, and I won't take advantage of you. I'll have two drinks, you have one." Gail's eyes clearly lit up, though her mouth put on a show of hesitation. "Isn't that too much? But since Sis wants to drink, then—then I'll reluctantly agree, okay? But no going back on your word, Sis." "I won't." I opened a bottle, tossed the cap on the table, and smiled. "Just don't cry."

With that, I tilted my head back and drank it down. The first bottle went empty, and I set it aside and picked up the second. Silas finally reached out. "That's enough." I dodged his hand. "Isn't this what you people brought me here to do—drink?" "Who told you to drink like that?" By the time the second bottle was gone, my stomach had started to burn. I opened a new bottle and pushed it in front of Gail. "Here." Her smile faded a little. "Drinking that fast? I... I..." I leaned back in my chair. "If you can't handle it, then go." The people around us started egging her on again. "Gail, come on! His wife's already had two bottles." Gail could actually hold her liquor. She got through a bottle, and aside from her face turning redder, she didn't try to weasel out of it. She set the bottle down, and right away the crowd showered her with praise. It grated on me, so I opened three more. This time Gail's expression finally changed. "Sis, still drinking?" "Weren't you the one who said you wanted a drink?" I picked up a bottle and kept going. Halfway through, my stomach began to hurt. I paused for a few seconds, and Silas thought I couldn't take any more. "That's enough, no one's forcing you, don't push yourself." I clenched my fist. The pain cleared my head a little, and I finished the rest. I lifted my chin. "You drink half a bottle." Gail sat there pressing her stomach without moving, and Silas got worked up first. "Joyce, is this fun for you? Gail's already drunk a whole bottle with you, and she has a bad stomach." The bad stomach again. I nodded. "Well, my stomach's just fine." But Gail picked up the bottle. "It's okay, Silas. If Sis wants to drink, I'll keep her company." She tilted her head back and drank half the bottle. When she finished, she slumped back in her chair, clearly very unwell. Silas immediately poured her a glass of warm water. "Slow down." I looked down at the empty bottle in front of me. I'd drunk three bottles, and no one had asked me a single word. She'd drunk one and a half, and warm water was already at her hand. Silas turned to look at me. "How about we go one glass at a time? Gail isn't used to drinking like this. She's already had a bottle and a half with you—don't bully her." I laughed. I drank three bottles, and in the end I was the one bullying her. "Fine, glasses, is it?" I took a glass and didn't stop after three, straight through to the tenth, before I finally turned it upside down on the table. My stomach was hurting badly now. I leaned back on the sofa and barely lifted my eyelids. "Your turn." Take eight hundred of the enemy, lose a thousand of your own. This kind of fighting is what I'm best at. As long as I can make the other person miserable, I feel great. Gail clearly didn't want to drink anymore, but with so many people watching, she had no choice but to pick up the glass. After the first glass, her face went pale. She was only halfway through the second when she suddenly clapped a hand over her mouth, rushed to the trash can, and threw up. The private room erupted into chaos. "Gail!" "Go get water!" "Go get napkins!" I held a piece of ice in my mouth and leaned back on the sofa, watching. Say what you will—her throwing up sobered me up quite a bit. Silas rushed over first, crouched beside her, and patted her back. "Is your stomach hurting again?" Gail's eyes welled with tears. "A little." Silas's voice was full of tenderness. "I told you a long time ago not to drink like that." I listened, and I laughed. He whipped around and glared at me. "You're still laughing?" I chewed on the ice cube. "What else? Should I cry?" Silas's face went livid. He was about to come at me when Gail gagged twice more. Right away he had no thought for me. I closed my eyes and rested for a while. Not long after, I heard Gail ask. "Silas, I remember you said before that I look a bit like your ex-girlfriend. Is that right?" Silas seemed caught off guard that she'd bring it up out of nowhere. "Why are you suddenly asking about this?" "Just curious." Gail had had too much to drink, and she'd clearly gotten a lot bolder. "You're so good to me, sometimes I even wonder if it's because I look like her, so you've got improper ideas about me." "How could that be?" Silas denied it fast, but there wasn't much anger in his voice. Gail smiled. "I've seen her photos. She's really beautiful." She cocked her head. "So tell me, am I better, or is your ex-girlfriend better?" Silas didn't answer. Then Gail seemed to remember something. "Oh no, your girlfriend's still here. She won't be angry, will she?" My eyes snapped open. These two really had lost their minds. My stomach was burning something awful. I let out a rough breath and smiled. "No, she won't." The two of them looked over at me. I stared at Silas and picked up their topic. "His ex-girlfriend really was great. Someone that good, and you couldn't even hold onto her. How useless does that make you?" Silas's face darkened. "Joyce." I waved a hand. "You couldn't keep your ex, and now your current girlfriend's about to be gone too. You finally landed yourself a Capybara, so you'd better protect her. You—rough fate, born to bring ruin to everyone around you." Silas shot to his feet. "Are you sick in the head?" He was genuinely angry now. He'd taken two steps toward me when Gail suddenly clutched her stomach and coughed. "Silas..." Two words, and Silas's steps stopped instantly. He turned back. "What is it?" "My stomach hurts." Gail's eyes brimmed with tears, and Silas didn't care about anything else. He bent down and scooped her up. "I'll take you to the hospital." The few people nearby quickly stood up too. Gail nestled in his arms, and before they left she didn't forget to glance at me. "Aren't we bringing Sis?" I looked at Silas too. For just that one instant, I really did want to hear what he'd say. Silas barely hesitated. "She didn't drink much. I'll get you there first." I looked down at the empty bottles at my feet and suddenly laughed. Fine. Good. The whole crowd went rushing out, and only at the door did Silas seem to finally remember me. "Take a taxi home yourself." The door closed, and the room fell quiet at once. I sat there a while, and my stomach hurt more and more. It really did hurt. I watched their backs and gave a cold laugh. If I said nothing, I'd feel wretched inside; if I said something, I'd look too petty. Forget it, Silas. We're over.