The Boy Next Door is a Psycho, and I'm His Obsession

Ethan Vance was the boy next door, four years older than me. During those hormone-fueled teenage years, I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself while staring at his phone. I had a dirty, unspeakable secret: I desperately craved for this man to hold me. I felt disgusted by my own filthy mind. Shortly after that, Ethan's family moved away, and I never saw him again. But on countless nights, whenever I closed my eyes, his face—that mixture of pleasure and pain—would flash across my mind. I could still hear his muffled gasps and smell the sweet, metallic scent in the air that made my heart race. I never thought I would ever see the man of my dreams again. But in a pitch-black hallway, someone blindfolded me. Even so, his scent and voice betrayed him instantly. Ethan, I am far more obsessed than you think. My alarm went off three times, but it still couldn't pull me out of that hot, blush-worthy dream. I checked my phone. It was 9:27 AM. I was definitely going to be late for work. I sighed and accepted my fate. Since I was already late, I might as well take a shower. The bathroom was thick with steam. My skin shivered wherever my fingers brushed. Fifteen minutes later, I stared at my flushed reflection in the mirror, feeling a bit dazed. Just then, my phone rang. "Chloe, are you actually going to that blind date I set up for you the day after tomorrow? You're twenty-four! Can you please give your father and me some peace of mind?” “Mrs. Gable's daughter is only a year older than you, and she already has a baby!" Fearing I would reject her like before, my mom softened her voice and added: "Are you still thinking about Ethan? Look at his family, his education. He’s so successful—why would he look at someone like you?” “ Get over him. Dress up nicely and go to that date the day after tomorrow. I'm only doing this for your own good." My mind drifted back to a hot summer afternoon during the break of my freshman year of college. It was too hot, so I hid in my room watching adult movies. I had actually moaned Ethan's name. I wrote everything down in my diary, including my deepest, most shameful secrets. But then my mom accidentally found it. She called me shameless, using the nastiest words possible on her own daughter. She even gossiped about it to our relatives. I felt like I had been stripped naked in public, pointed at like a piece of meat on a butcher's block. How did I feel back then? Humiliated. I wanted to die. I hated myself for not being able to control my own mind and body, and I was devastated that my mom would expose my secrets like that. Fearing she would bring it up again, I agreed to the blind date.When I finally clocked in at the office, my coworker Harper immediately dragged me to the side. "Chloe! Why are you just getting here? Let me tell you, we have a new department head! He is drop-dead gorgeous and seems so sweet and gentle.” “Just looking at him makes me actually want to work! It's such a shame you missed his grand entrance." Harper and I were both on the creative planning team. She had a wild imagination and loved to exaggerate everything. As long as a guy wasn't downright hideous, she would describe him to me as a supermodel. Well... she encountered an average of eighty "gorgeous guys" a day, so I didn't take her words seriously. But when I saw our new boss that afternoon, I froze. That face, which I had yearned for countless times, was standing right in front of me. As if sensing my gaze, he looked over, but he didn't greet me. He didn't recognize me. Right. To him, I was probably just the little neighbor girl from next door. I comforted myself, making excuses for him, but a wave of sadness still washed over my heart. The moment I saw him, a fire seemed to ignite inside me, burning all the way until I went to bed. Unsurprisingly, I dreamed of him again. In the dream, his fingers brushed against my lips, then slid down to my neck... He kissed my neck, and my face flushed red. I craved Ethan. I knew it was a dream. I had lost count of how many times I had dreamed of this. In my dreams, I was always much bolder than in real life. I heard him call my name, his voice overlapping with the one I heard at the office today: "Chloe, you're so good, baby. I love you, Chloe." I completely lost myself in his whispered confessions of love. —Beep! Beep! Beep! The alarm shattered my fantasy and dragged me back to reality. I was still deeply immersed in my world with Ethan, unable to pull myself out. It took me a long time to remember that today was the day of my blind date. I suppose everyone goes through a moment of clarity after being aroused. When I was sober, I absolutely hated myself for being like this. I took a shower as usual, put on a newly bought white dress, and did some light, delicate makeup. I had a very innocent, pure look—the classic petite and cute aesthetic with a baby face that was popular nowadays. At twenty-four, people still often mistook me for a high school graduate. I thought about what my mom had said on the phone. Maybe it was time to open my heart and start a normal relationship. Ten years after I first started using Ethan in my fantasies, I decided to say goodbye to the Ethan in my head.The date was set at a cat cafe. I loved cats. I figured even if we didn't like each other, we could just pet cats, and it wouldn't be too awkward. Then, I saw my date: a guy over six feet tall, wearing sunglasses and a black leather jacket, looking like he had just walked off the stage of a rock festival. If Ethan was the epitome of gentle, polite, and refined, the man before me was the exact opposite. He looked like he belonged in a biker gang. He took off his sunglasses and walked straight toward me. That was when I finally saw his face clearly. To be objective, he was very handsome, with long fingers and a sharp nose. He looked like... the type of guy who would be incredibly wild and good in bed. I nodded politely and greeted him. "Hi, I'm Chloe. Mrs. Gable set us up." "Hey, I'm Ryder." I was actually a bit intimidated by guys who looked fierce and hard to get along with. But Ryder gave off a very honest, bright, and simple vibe. He blushed when he looked into my eyes, nervously glancing down at the orange cat meowing at his feet. How could a guy loved by cats be a bad person? I had a great impression of Ryder. We agreed to grab dinner at the nearby mall afterward. Inside the mall, I kept feeling like someone was watching us. I didn't think much of it. After all, if I saw a couple with such contrasting styles like Ryder and me, I’d probably steal a few glances too. After dinner, he suggested we watch a movie, and I didn't refuse. "Is there anything you want to watch?" he asked. "Isn't there a new zombie movie out? I heard it got really good reviews." The movie was extremely popular. The only seats we could get were the couple's sofas in the very back corner. Ryder was on my left, and another couple sat to my right. From the moment the trailers started, the couple was shamelessly flirting. I was too embarrassed to ask Ryder to swap seats with me, so I just prayed their giggling and cheesy whispering wouldn't last through the entire movie. The theater went dark, and the movie began. Only ten minutes in, soft whimpering sounds started coming from my right. She was clearly trying to hold it in, but I still noticed. The theater was pitch black, especially in our corner, and the high backs of the sofas blocked them from view. They were completely reckless. I immediately realized what she was doing. The breathless, suppressed whimpers drifted into my right ear. My eyes narrowed, and my hands clenched tightly. My heart raced from a mix of morality and voyeuristic thrill.