Unbroken Regret

Everyone in the pack thought I was a gold digger. I was an outsider wolf with no family, yet Alpha Adrian had chosen me as his mate. His parents, friends, and even the elders insisted I wanted only his fortune and the title of Luna. Adrian alone believed me. Then, on the night of our mating ceremony, I asked him to lend me three hundred thousand dollars. From that night on, he was convinced I was vain and greedy, that the only thing I loved about him was the wealth he possessed as Alpha. When I begged him to attend my father's funeral, he sent me money. Six months ago, when I was diagnosed with wolfsoul degeneration, he believed I was just looking for an excuse to get money. The last time he transferred money to me, he was away on vacation with his childhood sweetheart, Selene. He did not know the healer had just told me my wolf soul was in the final stage of degeneration. I had seven days left. He had no idea that I borrowed money on our wedding night because Selena had poisoned me with silver, and I needed the money to save my life. My body is now beyond cure, ravaged by illness. He never chose to trust me. After my death, he went mad with regret. Chapter 1 At the end of my final treatment, the healer drew the needle from my arm. A bead of blood clung to its tip. A young healer hurried over and pressed gauze to the puncture wound. "Don't move." I only gave her a calm smile. "How much time do I have left?" The healer was silent for a long moment before prescribing a few pain-relieving herbs. As I headed back toward the treatment room, I heard the younger healer ask in a hushed voice, "Her wolf soul has already begun to disappear. Is there truly nothing we can do?" "At most, one week." One week. So that was all the time I had left. The healer let out a bitter laugh. "You know, her father died in this very room. The same disease." My steps faltered. "She has been receiving treatment for a year and has never stopped of her own accord. Not even once." "Other patients have their mates stay with them at night. When the pain leaves her curled up and shaking on the bed, she has no one but the healer on duty." "Her mate has never come. One night, she called him, and another woman answered." The healer's voice dropped even lower. "Perhaps it was fate." I tightened my grip on the treatment papers until my nails dug into my palm. Perhaps it was. Just as it had been fate when my father held my hand after his diagnosis, smiling even through the pain. "Don't be afraid, Elara. Your father can handle this." In the end, his wolf soul vanished while I held him, and he breathed his last in my arms. Just as it had been fate on the night of our mating ceremony, when the silver poison entered my body and I asked Adrian for three hundred thousand dollars to save my wolf soul. I could still remember the shock and hurt in his eyes. "Am I nothing but an open wallet to you, Elara?" "My parents, my friends, even Selene told me you were an outsider who came here to con me. I refused to believe any of them." "My father broke three of my ribs. Even as they carried me into the pack clinic, I was still shouting that I would make you my mate!" His voice was hoarse, his eyes burning red. I had never imagined he would react that way. Tears flooded my eyes. "That's not true, Adrian. There was silver in the ceremonial wine. The healer said I needed a witch to purge it--" "Today was our mating ceremony." He cut me off, tore away his ceremonial tie, and flung it to the floor. "Are you sure this is the moment you want to show me who you really are?" "Adrian, I swear I'll find a way to pay you back. No--I won't borrow it. I'll find the money myself. Please don't be angry." He flung a card at me. It struck my collarbone and dropped to the floor. "There's more than three hundred thousand on it. Isn't that what you married me for?" "Don't tell me about silver or a dying wolf soul again. Take the money and stop pretending." Then he wrenched open the door and stormed into the night. That was our mating night. I waited in the living room until four in the morning. Selene was the one who brought him home. Adrian was too drunk to stand, half his weight draped over her shoulders. Beneath the entryway light, the red mark on his neck looked painfully like a kiss. Selene gave me an apologetic, innocent smile. "Adrian took all his anger out on me, Elara. You can sleep without worrying now." The ceremony had bound us as mates, but because of the silver poison, we had never completed the final marking. For the next three years, Adrian could not feel my pain, and I had no mind-link through which I could prove the truth to him. Chapter 2 I was too young then. I had no idea what to do. All I knew was that my heart hurt so badly it had gone numb. Afraid Adrian would misunderstand me again, I could not bring myself to use his card. In the end, one of his friends "lent" me the three hundred thousand on the condition that I drink with him for one night. They forced so much alcohol down my throat at the club that my stomach began to bleed. When Adrian came to get me in the middle of the night, his face was livid. He did not say a word during the drive. Only after we reached home did he finally explode. "Do you have any idea what would have happened if I'd arrived a few minutes later?" "Is money truly that important to you?" "Were you willing to get yourself killed just so you could pay me back?" I shrank into my seat, too ashamed to lift my head. My stomach burned, but the cold in my heart was worse. Yet after he finished shouting, he dropped to one knee in front of me and wiped the blood from the corner of my mouth. He summoned a healer and stayed until my wolf finally settled. He had just opened his mouth to ask what I had done with the three hundred thousand when Selene called. She was sobbing. Her wolf had lost control, she said, and Adrian was the only one who could calm her. Adrian remained silent for a long time. He tucked the blanket around me, then turned and left anyway. From that day on, gold digger and fortune hunter became labels I could never tear away. When his friends mocked me, Adrian no longer laughed with them, but neither did he defend me. Soon afterward, my father was diagnosed with wolf-soul degeneration. The disease consumed him with terrifying speed. Then my father lost his fight. On the day he died, I called Adrian in hysterics, barely able to form a coherent sentence. Adrian was presiding over a pack council meeting. He hung up. I sent voice message after voice message. Some were explanations. Others were nothing but grief spilling out of me. Much later, he transferred eight hundred and eighty-eight dollars to my account. I stared at the number on the screen, my hand trembling so violently I could barely hold the phone. All the color drained from my face. After that day, Adrian and I were mates on paper and strangers in every way that mattered. He stopped answering my messages. Each new transfer seemed intended only to remind me that, in his eyes, I was a shameless gold digger. Strangely, however, he never petitioned the elders to dissolve our mate bond. I collected my medicine from the pack clinic. The house was cold when I returned. The pain in my wolf soul intensified, stabbing out from the deepest part of my consciousness and driving through flesh and bone. With shaking hands, I measured out the pain-relieving herbs and swallowed two of the sleeping tablets the healer had prescribed. They took effect quickly. As my thoughts began to blur, I looked up at the enormous photograph from our mating ceremony hanging on the wall. Adrian was smiling so freely in it, sunlight and my reflection bright in his eyes. It had been taken when we loved each other most. He had cradled my face and brushed a kiss over my lips. "Elara, I'll be good to you for the rest of my life." The rest of his life. What an effortless lie. My fingers trembling, I typed a message. Adrian, if I died, would you grieve for me? I pressed send. My phone vibrated almost immediately. A transfer notification appeared. Eight hundred and eighty-eight dollars, as always. I stared at it for a very long time. Then I clapped a hand over my mouth and stumbled into the bathroom, retching over the toilet. In the end, nothing came up. Only involuntary tears blurred my vision. The medicine dragged me under. I collapsed onto the bed, the room dissolving around me. In the haze, I thought I saw the twenty-year-old Adrian walking toward me with that shameless grin of his, tucking a flower behind my ear. "Hey. How about becoming my mate?" I smiled too and struggled to reach for him. I wanted to say yes. But my tears fell first. Let it end like this. Perhaps it would be better if I never woke again. At least the Adrian in my dreams would never tell me, in that cold voice, that mating with me was the greatest regret of his life. Chapter 3 When I woke, it was already the morning of the third day. My phone lay on the bedside table. With considerable effort, I reached for it and unlocked the screen. I had been unconscious for twenty-four hours. Other than a few app notifications, there was nothing. No missed calls from Adrian. No messages. Our conversation still ended with his money transfer, mocking me in silence. I opened his social media profile. Ten minutes earlier, he had posted a new set of nine photographs. He was still on vacation with Selene. There was an endless blue sea, a white beach, and a resort suite overflowing with flowers. In one photo, Adrian stood behind Selene, fastening her life jacket. Sunlight washed over his profile, softening his face into an expression of extraordinary patience and tenderness. The caption read, Someone is afraid of the water, so we're staying on the island a few more days. Below it was a flood of likes and teasing comments from mutual friends. This is too sweet. Since when did Adrian have this much patience? Selene has trained him well. How long are you two going to keep pretending you're only childhood friends? Now this is what love is supposed to look like. Selene only had to mention that she wanted an island vacation, and Adrian remembered. He cleared his schedule and spent day after day with her. If she said at midnight that she wanted sweet porridge from the other side of the city, he drove across town to buy it. When she had a fever, he postponed an important treaty negotiation and stayed beside her bed all night. Scrolling through Selene's profile was like opening a journal of their romance. The cruelest part was that every page in that thick journal had once belonged to me. At twenty, Adrian had also been willing to risk everything for nineteen-year-old Elara. When the elders refused to recognize an outsider as Luna, he spent months arguing my case before the council,then spent a fortune bidding on the ring I’d once admired in a shop window for me. I swiped through photograph after photograph. At some point, he had stopped wearing the ring he had never once removed after our mating ceremony. I could not bear to look any longer. I let the phone fall from my hand and stared blankly ahead. The medicine was wearing off. My throat was parched, but the pain was too severe for me to get out of bed and fetch water. Adrian called just as the herbs finally subdued another wave of agony. His voice carried its usual chill. "Dinner at the pack estate tonight." I was silent for a moment before answering. "I'm not well." He gave a quiet laugh. "Stop pretending, Elara. We both know you only claim to be sick when you want money." "If you can still hold your human form, come to the pack estate. You're still the Luna, and I won't have you embarrassing me by staying away." The call ended. Suddenly, I wanted to laugh. The healer had said I had no more than seven days. In just a few more, I would never have to force my unwanted presence on any of them again. I braced a hand on the edge of the bed and pushed myself upright, only then noticing my wolf soul growing frighteningly frail. I stared blankly ahead for several seconds. Then I silently swallowed the increased dose of herbs the healer had prescribed, changed my clothes, and left for dinner. The living room of the pack estate was as warm and lively as ever. Selene sat beside the former Luna in a tailored suit. She occupied the seat meant for the lady of the house. When I entered, she was feeding the older woman slices of fruit and making her laugh. Adrian sat in an armchair on the other side of the room, his attention fixed on his phone. My arrival silenced the laughter for a heartbeat. One of the pack members pulled out a chair at the very end of the long dining table. I lowered my head and sat, separated from the head of the table by an expanse of polished wood. The women resumed their conversation about jewelry and handbags. No one looked at me again. I had been sitting for only a few minutes when the dull ache deep inside my wolf soul returned. Cold sweat began to bead on my forehead. At last, the former Luna seemed to remember I existed. She looked down the table and frowned. "Still no sign of a pup, Elara? It has been three years. This pack has no use for a foreign Luna who cannot produce an heir." Chapter 4 My face went even paler. Not long ago, the damage left by the silver poison had cost me our pup. The pup's own father had never believed it existed. On the day I miscarried, I called him again and again until my voice broke. He decided I was staging another crisis to squeeze money from him. He sent eight hundred and eighty-eight dollars, silenced my calls, and stayed beside Selene instead. That was the day I decided to leave him. Before I could petition the elders to dissolve our bond, the healer diagnosed me with wolf-soul degeneration. By the time I returned home, grief and sickness had hollowed me out. I smashed everything in the room and tore our mate-bond certificate in half. "Why won't you answer me? Why do you keep sending money? What is this supposed to mean?" Struggle and pain filled Adrian's eyes, but the words he forced out were still merciless. "Isn't this what you wanted? Or was the transfer not enough?" I clawed at my hair until pain tore across my scalp. "If you truly hate me, why do you come to my bed night after night? Why haven't you dissolved our bond? Why did you let me—" Pregnant. Adrian caught both my wrists and pulled me hard against his chest, holding me so tightly I could no longer hurt myself. "Enough, Elara." His voice trembled as he stroked my back again and again. "Stop acting out this story about a pup. We have to stop tormenting each other. From now on—" His phone lit up with Selene's name. After a long hesitation, he released me and left. I sat alone amid the wreckage and laughed at myself until no sound came. "Don't worry about it," Adrian said to his mother. His aunt glanced at Selene with a smile. "Why expect anything from her? You would be better off with Selene. Look at her--healthy and made for bearing pups." Selene blushed and lowered her head. Adrian's brows drew together. "Enough. Elara is my Luna. Whether she gives me pups or not, none of you has the right to humiliate her." His aunt's expression stiffened before she turned another teasing smile on Selene. "I'm only worried about you. Selene did grow up with you, after all." "I still have the love letters you wrote to her when you were young." "I was a child and didn't understand what I was doing. I've only ever thought of her as a sister." My stomach lurched. I could not endure another moment. I surged to my feet and accidentally knocked a bone-china plate from the table. It shattered against the floor with a sharp crack. Every face turned toward me, eyes filled with disgust. "I'm sorry." My voice shook as I stumbled toward the door. "Elara!" Adrian caught up with me on the porch and seized my elbow, his face dark with anger. "You can barely stand. Why are you still pretending you're fine? Why didn't you tell me?" "If you're truly sick, I'm taking you to a healer right now." I opened my mouth, but no words came. I wanted to tell him. In a few days, you will be free. But the instant I tried to speak, a loud crash came from inside the house, drowning out my weakened voice. "Adrian!" Selene cried his name through a sob. "A piece of the plate cut my hand. It hurts so much..." Adrian's expression changed. He released me and rushed back inside. "Don't touch anything else, do you hear me?" The fear in his voice was impossible to miss. I stood alone on the porch as the cold wind cut through my thin clothes. This time, the battered place in my chest did not hurt as I had expected. There was only a vast, hollow numbness. Chapter 5 I could not bear the thought of returning to that house, so I went to my father's old apartment instead. My phone vibrated. Adrian had sent me his first written message in three years. Come back and make sweet porridge for Selene. You owe her an apology. I stared at it for a long time, almost wanting to laugh. This time, when I called, he finally answered. Impatience sharpened every word. "Did you hear me? Selene said the only thing she wants is your--" "Adrian." I interrupted him, my voice barely above a whisper. "If I died, would you grieve for me?" The question had haunted me for months. At last, I had found the courage to ask it aloud. Silence held the other end of the line for several seconds. Then his voice rose sharply. "What the hell is wrong with you lately? Who taught you to keep saying such morbid things? If you need money, then ask for it. It's not as if I won't give it to you!" "Where are you? I'll come right now." In the end, he still did not answer my question. It no longer mattered. The call ended. I lay on the narrow wooden bed where my father and I had slept side by side when I was a child and took an old phone from a dented metal box. It still held the messages Adrian and I had exchanged in our early twenties. Saw a rainbow today. Do you think that improves my chances of a successful confession? Who are you planning to confess to? A remarkable woman named Elara, whose reaction time is longer than the entire pack border. The agony had spread from my wolf soul into every part of my body. It felt as if countless hands were tearing through my organs. I wanted to laugh, cry, scream, and call out. No sound came. Only a trace of wetness gathered at the corner of my eye. I quietly read all eight thousand of our old messages. Then I deleted them with a single touch. With the last of my strength, I swallowed the sleeping herbs and pain-relieving medicine prescribed by my healer. I had not missed a single treatment in the past six months. Even so, the countdown on my wolf soul had reached its end. My consciousness grew heavy, and the pain in my body began to fade. For the first time in months, a genuine smile touched my lips. I closed my eyes. Adrian. I am free now. I do not hate you. I only hope that this time, you will complete the mating bond with the woman you truly love. Adrian stared at the disconnected call, restless and uneasy. Without thinking, he opened the location-sharing app on his phone. Back when they were in love, he had pestered Elara until she installed it. He used to check her location from time to time. After he decided she was a fraud, he never opened it again. The red dot rested over a run-down apartment complex. Frowning, he stood and reached for his car keys. "Adrian." Selene caught his arm. Her eyes were still red. "You promised you would take me to the banquet tonight. And my hand still hurts..." He stopped. His gaze dropped to the small bandage wrapped around her finger, and he sat down again. "I know." Adrian was distracted throughout the banquet. Elara's weak voice played over and over in his mind. He tugged irritably at his tie and ordered his Beta to find out who Elara had been seeing lately. What kind of con artist was this convincing? And why should it matter to him? Elara was nothing more than a fraud who would even sell her body for money. Adrian rubbed his temples as he listened to his Beta's report. "The Luna hasn't been in contact with anyone. She only goes to the pack clinic." "Her personal life is just as simple. The only family she had was her father, and he died three years ago." Adrian's fingers tightened around his wineglass. He shot to his feet. Every head turned, but he did not notice. His voice sank as he asked again, "She had a father?" Selene's investigation had said that Elara was an orphan who made her living conning wealthy men. "Yes. He died three years ago from wolf-soul degeneration." It was as if a barrage of fireworks had exploded inside Adrian's skull. His legs nearly gave way beneath him. There was a chance--however small--that Elara had not lied. Wolf-soul degeneration. He had seen those words somewhere before. Where? The answer struck like lightning. He remembered the message Elara had sent him several months ago. Without even reading it closely, he had dismissed it as another performance meant to wring money from him. At that moment, his Beta called again. Adrian was already striding toward the exit when he gave the order in a hoarse voice. "Go to her father's old apartment. Bring the Luna home." Silence stretched across the line. Then his Beta reported in a trembling voice, "Alpha... the Luna is dead."