While My Ice-Cold Wife Was Washing Her Childhood Sweetheart’s Underwear, I Asked the Beauty Before Me to See an Exhibition

By the time my wife, Claire, came home, my mother had already been reduced to a box of ashes. She merely glanced at my mother’s memorial portrait, then proudly told me, “Honey, I saved a young man’s life!” I said nothing, my gaze cold. In the past, whenever she came home from a night shift at the hospital and said that to me, I would kiss her forehead with both pride and tenderness and say, “My wife is the best!” But the life she had saved this time had been exchanged for my mother’s life. During the days I spent handling my mother’s funeral arrangements, I asked myself again and again: I had devoted myself to treating Claire well all these years, but what had my mother, the woman who gave birth to me and raised me, ever received from me? When she saw my reaction, Claire immediately pouted. “Ethan! Aren’t you proud of me? Don’t you love me anymore?” My voice was cold. “Where did you get the lifesaving medicine, Doctor Claire?” A flash of guilt crossed Claire’s face, but she quickly composed herself and said frankly, “If you weigh the pros and cons, saving an elderly person is obviously less worthwhile than saving someone young!” My eyes instantly turned red. My mother had spent all these years working tirelessly to take care of Claire at home. In her old age, she had been tortured by illness, and Claire had actually treated her life as something to be weighed against the pros and cons. I slammed my palm against the table and roared, “Claire, that was my mother! There are so many patients in the hospital, including children. Why didn’t you save one of them?” Claire froze. She had never seen me lose my temper before. Flustered, Claire walked over and reached out to hug me. I instinctively stepped back. Her hands were stained with my mother’s blood. Claire’s expression shifted slightly. “Honey, I know you’re angry. I understand how every family member feels after losing someone. But your mother was already sixty. Why waste medicine that cost $1.2 million?” Hearing that, all I could feel was how cold and heartless the woman in front of me was. She was comforting me like I was an ordinary patient’s family member, as if my mother’s death had not disturbed her in the slightest. Maybe in her heart, Julian was the one she truly loved. Seeing that I remained agitated, Claire finally softened her tone. “All right, all right. You’ve always wanted a child, haven’t you? I agree.” I looked at her perfunctory expression, and the pain in my heart deepened. “Forget it. I accepted an invitation from a news magazine. I’m about to start traveling for work long-term.” Claire’s brows drew together when she heard that, and anger crept into her voice. “Ethan, what do you mean? When we got married, we agreed that you would fully support my career. Now you want to travel for work? What’s going to happen to this family?” This family? When I had won the photography world’s highest award, news organizations had competed to recruit me, enough to make my colleagues jealous. But for Claire, I had decisively given up my career while it was at its peak and devoted myself to taking care of her. What had I gotten in return? When she saw that I did not answer, her voice rose. “The dead are already dead. Do you really have to keep making the living suffer?”I forcefully suppressed my emotions and took a long drag on my cigarette. “Doctor Claire, the medicine Julian used was bought by me. It cost $1.2 million. When are you going to pay me back?” Claire stared at me in disbelief. “Ethan, you’re talking to me about money? Now I understand. Money matters more to you than I do!” I kept smoking and staring at her. Claire’s eyes finally reddened. “Honey, I admit I was wrong this time. I’m sorry, okay?” In all the years we had been married, this was the first time Claire had ever apologized to me. In the past, whenever I saw her cry, my heart would twist in pain. I would have done anything to comfort her. But this time, I felt nothing at all. Claire tried to take my arm. When she saw that I did not pull away, the corners of her lips lifted slightly. “Honey, listen to me. My parents were always busy when I was growing up and never had time to look after me. I spent a lot of time eating at Julian’s house. His family treated me so well. Wasn’t I supposed to repay them somehow?” Repay them? With my mother’s life? I let out a cold laugh. “So you two are childhood sweethearts? Why don’t you just get together?” I never expected Claire to actually sigh. “You know how busy doctors are. He never has time for a family. Besides, his mother never approved of me.” Her complaint made it feel as if my internal organs were burning. Claire was busy with work, so my mother had come from out of state and taken care of her without complaint. Sometimes I took photography jobs at home. My mother did not know how to drive, so she would take the subway and then a bus just to deliver Claire’s meals. If even one household chore was not done to Claire’s liking, she would lose her temper. My mother would even advise me, “Claire is exhausted from work. It’s normal for her to be irritable. We should be more understanding.” Remembering all of that, I could not stop my tears from falling again. When Claire saw me crying, she looked at me with a self-satisfied tenderness. “Honey, next month I’ll apply to transfer to a less demanding department. Then we can have a baby.” I tossed my cigarette onto the floor and crushed it beneath my shoe. With a mocking edge to my voice, I said, “Since you won’t be so busy anymore, Julian’s mother should be able to accept you. When that happens, you and he can go have your baby.” Claire looked as if she had been deeply wronged. “Ethan, how can you say something like that? I’m hurting too because your mother died! Do you have to blame everything on me? If I really leave, you’ll never be able to win me back!” I had no intention of responding to her. I simply said, “Remember to pay me back,” then put on my coat and walked out of the house.I drank with several friends until late into the night. Claire kept calling during that time, so I simply put my phone on silent. “Ethan, it’s been forever since you’ve gone out with us! It’s great to see you joining us today.” I raised my glass and drained it in one swallow before saying apologetically, “I was immature before. Now I’m planning to return to the photography world, so I’ll be counting on all of you to look after me!” “What are you talking about? You’re a legend!” “I heard Ethan even sold all his award-winning work to raise money for his mother’s treatment. He used to treasure those pieces more than anything. Even though his mother still passed away, she’ll be moved by his devotion from up in heaven!” My friends chimed in one after another, but their words only made the pain in my heart burn hotter. I automatically picked up my glass and drank several more shots. Seeing me like that, my friends assumed I was grieving over my mother. After offering me a few words of comfort, they simply kept me company, drinking while chatting about amusing news stories. At that moment, my best friend Marcus handed me his phone and joked, “Ethan, did you forget to ask your wife for permission before coming out tonight? She called me too!” The whole group burst out laughing. Not wanting to put Marcus in a difficult position, I took the phone. The moment Claire heard my half-drunk voice, disgust entered her tone. “Ethan, even if you’re angry, there has to be a limit! Are you trying to provoke me by getting drunk? We agreed that if you weren’t home by midnight, I’d lock the door. I’ve already been generous enough to let you come home tonight!” My head was spinning, and my stomach churned with nausea. “Claire, you’re overthinking it. I only drank a little too much because I’m happy I can finally pick up my camera again!” Then I replied groggily, “Go ahead and lock the door. I wasn’t planning on going home tonight anyway.” Claire screamed, “Ethan! Don’t push your luck! I already swallowed my pride and asked you to come home. Is this family really less important to you than $1.2 million?” I let out a cold laugh. She actually still thought she was the one trying to appease me. She thought I was only angry about the money. Perhaps in her heart, my mother’s life was not worth $1.2 million, while Julian’s life was priceless. I replied calmly, “Don’t get so worked up. Before we receive our divorce certificate, remember to have Julian pay back the money.” Silence fell on the other end of the call. The friends around me also froze. Marcus handed me a cigarette and tried to persuade me. “Ethan, that’s just what married life is like. Couples are bound to argue. You’re upset because your mother just passed away, but don’t make an impulsive decision.” I took a deep drag and gave a bitter laugh. How could this be impulsive? Claire had abandoned me while I had a fever to celebrate Julian’s birthday. She had bought me shoes that did not fit. All of it had happened long ago. It was just that my mother’s life had finally awakened me. How could I betray that awakening?