Time for Me to Go, Time for You to Burn

On Children's Day, the most popular social media post is about me. The caption is: "Mr. Shane Norton spends his birthday with his son David Norton and his first love, Ruth Feynman. Has he finally decided to divorce Ayla Sanderson?" I quietly press the "like" button. When my phone rings, I'm in the midst of taking down the balloons I put up for our wedding anniversary. "Honey." My husband sounds anxious as he tries to explain himself. "David suddenly insisted that we go to a theme park, so I—" In the background, I hear David laughing. "Dad, Ruthie says that I can sleep with her tonight!" I look at the mess in the house. The balloons are drooping, and the cream on the cake is congealed. "You don't have to explain," I hear myself say. "I understand." It's just that this time, I don't want you or David any longer, Shane. Chapter 1 Ayla Sanderson's POV When Shane Norton brought our son, David Norton, home, I was curled up on the sofa, watching television. In the past, I would have rushed over immediately to get his slippers and kiss David's little face. Today, I did not move. "Why didn't you come and kiss me today, Mom?" "Ayla, why didn't you bring me my slippers?" I adjusted the volume of the television. "I don't have time." Shane put on his slippers and left David waiting for me to serve him. "Ayla, you're not still angry over such a minor thing, are you? "It's Children's Day today, and David suddenly wanted to go to a theme park. You wouldn't have disappointed him, would you? I couldn't handle him on my own, so I asked Ruth to come along. How many times do I have to explain this?" Beside him, David said angrily, "Mom, you're losing your temper for no reason again! Ruthie never looks stern like you do!" Shane ruffled David's hair and looked at me as he asked, "Did you hear that? Even David disapproves. "Why don't you understand, Ayla? I'm showing you respect by trying to placate you. Even if you're going to have a fit, there should be limits!" My voice was calm. "I'm not angry. I understand." I understood everything. I understood it all too well. It was like last year, when I'd gotten into a car accident and was bleeding heavily. Over the phone, Shane had said impatiently, "I'm a little busy over here. I'll go soon. Call an ambulance for yourself!" Beside him, I heard David shouting, "Come and see, Dad! Ruthie found her kitten! Comfort her and tell her to stop crying." As I lay in a puddle of blood, I dialed 911 on my own. When I had to sign the agreement for the operation, there was a box for family members to sign. In that box, I wrote with a trembling hand: "No family." Shane scanned my face and sighed wearily. "Must you do this, Ayla?" I met his eyes calmly. "What have I done?" The room fell silent. He suddenly pulled out a velvet box from his briefcase and tossed it on the coffee table. "Here. Happy anniversary." I looked at the necklace in the box. The letters "RF" were engraved on the pendant, and I knew that they were Ruth Feynman's initials. My lips curled. Even my anniversary present was a castoff from someone else. On Ruth's birthday, Shane had taken David to a bakery and spent the entire afternoon making a cake. "Thanks." There was no emotion in my voice. Shane shot to his feet. "David and I put in a lot of effort to choose this, and you didn't even smile. Don't you like it?" "I do. Thanks." I ran my fingers over the stark "RF" letters on the necklace. Shane looked thunderstruck. After all, I had once treasured any present he gave me, even if it was just a gift he'd gotten at the annual company party. I would put it away carefully and tell him sweetly that he was my darling hubby. For all these years, I had done the same thing without fail. Chapter 2 Ayla's POV I would even start preparing for our anniversary three months in advance. I would have a photo album custom-made, record videos, and fly to the city where he was away on business to set up a surprise. Now, all I did was toss the gift box into the trash can. I turned around and went to the bedroom to get my bag and shoes, as I was going out. Shane grabbed me, looking irritated. "Ayla, where are you going in the middle of the night? David's waiting for you to put him to bed." I looked at him, feeling slightly amused. "How interesting, Shane. "When I used to ask you where you were going at three in the morning, you said that I had no boundaries, offending your privacy. "Now that I don't ask, you've actually become angrier. You're even starting to monitor where I'm going." I headed out through the door. As the security door clanged shut behind me, I heard him yell in suppressed fury, "All you do is lose your temper! If you don't come home tonight, then never come back again!" I could hear the conviction in his voice. He was sure that I would turn back from the fear of losing him. However, I did not stop; my eyes filled with scorn. In his eyes, I was probably just a clown who would never be able to leave him. He thought I was insignificant and that I was reliant on him and had no other choices. However, even clowns would get tired of their masks. Since my marriage no longer had a place for me, I decided to leave. … At the bar, my cousin, Celeste Drey, said teasingly, "What a surprise! Our perfect housewife isn't at home tending to her king and her little prince! "Did something happen?" "Alright, stop gossiping." I laughed and pushed her gently. "Remember to call me whenever you're doing anything fun." Celeste scoffed. "Can you really bring yourself to leave home and abandon your husband and son, whom you treat like royalty?" I couldn't blame Celeste for saying this. Ever since marrying Shane, I had gradually distanced myself from my former social circles. Whenever my friends asked me out, I would always say, "Next time." It's been a long time since I painted. An unfinished painting on my easel has gathered a thick layer of dust, and I haven't visited my favorite bookstore since getting married. I downed my drink in one gulp. "Yes. I can bear it now." Since they were able to leave me behind, I would do the same to them. At three in the morning, I went home, smelling heavily of alcohol. Shane was sitting in the living room with dark circles around his eyes. His suit was crumpled, and his tie was askew. It was the first time in our five years of marriage that I'd ever seen him in such a disheveled state. When he saw that I was back, he exhaled, his lips curving up slightly. "You're back. Have you realized that you can't bear to leave David and me? "I thought that you actually had the guts to leave home. Since you can't leave me, then behave yourself!" I sat down beside him and burped. His brow furrowed tightly. "Ayla, did you go out drinking in the middle of the night? With who?" I suddenly thought of how he would always go out drinking and socializing until late at night. I would always wait for him to come home, and he would come back reeking of alcohol. He always said impatiently to me, "I have to socialize for work. Why do you have to ask about it every single time?" Now, the shoe was on the other foot. He was the one interrogating me. David was awoken by the noise and ran out on his bare feet. When he smelled the alcohol, he wrinkled his nose and retreated to Shane's side. "Mom, you stink! Ruthie isn't like you. She always smells good, like a princess! "She even makes cake and ice cream for me while all you do is lose your temper and make me do my homework. You forbid me from eating anything, and you always look ugly. Today, you even stink!" I gazed at Shane and David, my eyes weary and numb. I had carried David for nine months in my womb and gotten up thousands of times in five years for night feedings. Having ice cream was bad for his stomach, and he often got diarrhea as a result, and it would lead to him having a fever. Chapter 3 Ayla's POV I always had to take care of David for the entire night, but he never saw how much hard work I put in. He had only met Ruth a few times, but he couldn't stop talking about her. Shane flicked on the overhead lights and looked at David with approval. "Listen to David. Do you think that you're acting like a mother should? "Don't you think you're making a mountain out of a molehill by kicking up such a fuss over Ruth? I told you that there's nothing going on between us. Why can't you understand me? "The person with the higher salary gets to make the decisions at home. You're working at a design institute, but you get paid peanuts. Since you have to rely on me to survive, you have to understand that you're the one who can't leave David and I." I did not want to listen to them judging me again, so I got up to go back to my room. "Everything you say is right." Shane took a deep breath, his voice sounding hoarse. "Ayla, why do you always give me that half-dead attitude whenever we argue? Don't you care about how I feel?" I had drunk a little too much and was feeling dizzy. I stumbled and banged my calf hard against the coffee table, which sent me reeling backward. Shane almost lunged over and stuck out his hand to catch my head before it hit the floor. "Ayla! That fall could have been dangerous!" I pushed against his chest as I sat up slowly, my eyes hollow and empty of emotion. "Don't touch me." He looked shocked, as if he hadn't expected me to be so cold. In the end, he let go of me. I went back to our room and fell fast asleep. When I woke up once more, it was five in the morning. I had a hangover, but my biological clock had roused me on time as usual. Shane liked having freshly made bread in the morning, while David only wanted pancakes. Both of them were very picky about food. They complained that the housekeeper's cooking "smelled funny", and that store-bought food was "unhygienic". Therefore, I would wake up two hours earlier every single day so that by 7:00 am, they could have a piping hot breakfast that fulfilled all their requirements. However, I was going to force myself to go back to sleep today. After some time, I was awoken by the sound of a relentless knocking on the door. I pulled it open, my hair tousled. David was standing there. "Mom, you're bad and mean! Why didn't you get out of bed to make breakfast for Dad and me? I'm hungry!" I yawned. "I'm resting today." "You can't!" He suddenly rushed forward and pummeled my nightdress. "Ruthie once said that a good mother would cook even if she was sick!" "I'm not a good mother. If you want to eat something, go and ask the housekeeper." David suddenly looked like a beast that had been provoked to anger. He sat down on the floor and began wailing. "The housekeeper's cooking tastes horrible! Dad, Mom won't cook for me! Ask Ruthie to come. The breakfast she cooks is delicious, and she's willing to cook for me!" Shane sat at the dining table with dark bruises under his eyes. He looked as if he hadn't slept at all. "Ayla, don't take out your anger on David. If you're tired and you don't want to cook, I can ask Ruth to come." I did not speak any longer. I shut the door with a bang and began to wash up and put on makeup. I pulled on my blazer and picked up my car keys before walking outside. In the distance, I heard Shane talking to Ruth on the phone. When I passed him, he suddenly grabbed my wrist. "Are you going out? I put a hangover cure on the table for you. Drink it before you leave." I flung his hand aside. "I don't need it. Thanks." Before the door closed, I thought I heard the sound of a teacup smashing against the wall behind me. Shane was angry. I paused momentarily, but I did not stay and strode forward instead. I went to the design institute. I had big plans for my career when I'd first moved to this city with Shane. Chapter 4 Ayla's POV However, Shane had said, "It would be better for you to be more stable now that we're married." I gave up an opportunity to go abroad for further studies and let go of my dream. After having a child, I was stuck at home. I had to sacrifice my time for work and rest for the family, but my contribution was not acknowledged. Instead, Shane and David always dismissed me, day in and day out. In the end, they chose to use another woman to trample all over my dignity. I took a deep breath and went to the institute director's office to hand in my resignation. The director's name was Betty Green. She was nonplussed, but nodded without much surprise. "You should spread your wings and fly. Have you thought about where to go and when?" I touched the acceptance letter in my bag. It was an offer letter to the Department of Architecture at Camford University. "Bretia, the day after tomorrow." While I was packing up my things, my colleague Linda Manfeld came over. "Ayla, I heard that you're going to Bretia. What about Mr. Norton and David?" There was a framed photo of the three of us with our arms around each other on my desk. I put it face down, plunging the figures on it into shadow. "We're getting divorced. They'll have a new wife and mother, respectively." Linda hesitated and did not say anything in the end. By the time I left the design institute, it was late at night. When I got home, the motion-sensored lights flicked on, and I saw the suitcase in the living room at once. Shane was stuffing David's jacket into it, while the latter was standing beside him in anticipation, hugging his new schoolbag. It had a dinosaur on it. At the door, there was a gift box embossed with the logo of a luxury brand. Ruth had recently posted it on her social media, saying that it was the newest bag she wanted. Shane did not look up when he heard me come home. "I have to go on a sudden business trip, and I'm taking David with me." His phone suddenly rang, and he answered it swiftly. The sound of Ruth's laughter trickled out of the phone, and Shane's eyes became half-lidded, which made him look like a cat that was being stroked. I was all too familiar with that expression. He had once looked like that five years ago, when he was courting me. When he saw that I was looking at him, his smile dropped at once, and he hung up. "You don't want to bother with David now anyway. You won't object to me taking him out, will you?" I did not say anything. I did not argue or protest. Shane tied his shoelaces deftly and went out with David. The security door shut behind him with such a loud bang that it jolted our wedding photo from where it hung on the wall. The sound of the glass smashing seemed unusually crisp and satisfying. I crouched down and picked up the shards piece by piece. I suddenly felt immensely relaxed. When I was about to go to sleep, I saw Ruth's post on social media pop up all of a sudden. The caption read: "Someone who truly loves you will remember what you like." In the accompanying photo, David was sandwiched between them while Ruth leaned her head affectionately on Shane's shoulder. They looked like a happy family of three. The limited-edition handbag on the dining table was the one Shane took when he left. The comment section was very lively, as if it were their wedding. Shane's best friend, Zack Harrington, was taking the lead: "You have to spend ten thousand in the store before you're even allowed to buy this handbag! Shane spent a huge sum just to make Ruth happy!" For some reason, I suddenly thought about my birthday last year, and how Shane had given me a silk scarf bought at a discount. Zack had also been present at the time, and he'd said teasingly, "A silk scarf that only costs 100 dollars? Are you just going to fob Ayla off like that, Shane?" Shane had said calmly, "She likes things that are discounted." I had gripped the silk scarf without saying anything. They had no idea that I was always hovering in the sale section because I wanted to save money and buy better things for Shane and David. However, Shane's friends had never shown me any respect as his wife. Not only did they look down on me, but they always said privately, "Ruth is three years younger than Ayla is. She graduated from a renowned university and is very socially savvy." Chapter 5 Ayla's POV "Ayla is always suspicious about something. It's irritating just to look at her." In Shane's social circle, I was just a joke. I was his shrewish wife who wouldn't stop pestering him. I was a stumbling block that was stopping him from pursuing his true love. My fingers suddenly froze, because I saw Shane's reply in the comment section: "If Ruthie is happy, then it's worth it." He followed up the comment with three sun emojis, and it made my eyes sting. Zack piled on more fuel to the fire: "Someone's going to kick up a fuss again. She might pride herself on being the official spouse, but all Ruthie has to do is just say that she likes something!" Zack hadn't mentioned any names, but it was obvious who he was referring to. When I saw this, I exited my social media app without hesitating. I drank a cup of hot milk and fell asleep quickly. When I woke up, I enjoyed being alone, doing whatever I wanted and getting ready for studying abroad. It felt freeing, like I hadn’t had that kind of peace in a long time. After a day or two, Shane and David were back. Shane stood at the door with David, holding their suitcases, and he looked furious. "Ayla, your husband and son were away, and you didn't even call or make any contact with us. How can you sleep so soundly? Aren't David and I worthy of your concern anymore?" I remained silent. In the past, I had always shown concern for him. I would ask if his plane had landed, if he'd arrived at the hotel, and what he had eaten. When I did, he would find me irritating and a nuisance. Now that I did not bother to do anything, he complained that I was ignoring him. "You said that you were on a business trip, so naturally, I wouldn't disturb you. Besides, didn't you and David have Ruth keeping you company?" Shane stared at me in shock. He hadn't expected me to be so calm while talking about Ruth. After a moment, he turned red and his tone softened. "Ayla, there's nothing going on between us. I just want to return a favor that I owe her. How many more times do you want me to explain this?" I raised a hand lightly to interrupt him and gave him a measured smile. "You don't have to explain. I understand everything." Shane poked David, who was standing beside him. With a tinge of reluctance, David took out a plastic necklace. "Mom, I bought this for you with my pocket money! "You don't treat me well, but Dad told me that I should pay you back with kindness." I pushed David's hand away dismissively. "I accept your good intentions. You can keep that for Ruthie." Shane was furious. "Ayla! How could you be so shameless? David's giving you a way out, and yet you're still acting so high-and-mighty!" I ignored him and went to the kitchen to pour myself a cup of warm water. "You should get some rest, Shane." While he looked at me in anger, I locked the door to my room. Early the next day, sunlight spilled into my bedroom through the gauzy curtains. I pulled my suitcase after me and took one last look at the home that I had lived in for five years. I no longer wanted anything, including the people whom I had once cherished the most. … Shane's POV I slept until late that morning. I walked out into the living room, rubbing my temples, only to find that it was empty. Even the things in Ayla's room had disappeared. I frowned and dialed her number, but I could not get through. Feeling a sense of unease, I grabbed my car keys and headed to the design institute. Betty saw me as soon as I walked in. She smiled broadly and walked over. "What are you doing here, Shane? Hasn't Ayla's resignation been processed?" My pupils contracted in shock, and the car keys fell to the floor with a loud thud. "What did you say? She resigned?" Betty pushed her glasses up her nose in surprise. "Yes. Ayla resigned three days ago. She's going to study abroad for five years at Camford. Didn't you know about that? Her flight is today. By now, she's probably reached—"