The Choice to Abort

By the fifth year of my marriage to River Grayson, I had stopped checking his call logs and chat records. Instead, I spent my nights drinking and partying with my girlfriends at the poolside bar. When his ninety-ninth missed call lit up my screen, I let out a cold laugh and tossed my phone straight into the water. It didn't take long before he came storming in. The moment he pulled the strawberry-scented condom out of my pocket, he turned grim and banned me from leaving the house after 7:00 PM. "Joanne, you weren't like this before." I thought back to last month, when I had run into him at the hospital. He had lied about being on a business trip out of town, but there he was, holding Yvonne Sinclair's hand. I still remembered his words. "You lost your uterus from saving me back then. My sperm is perfectly fine. I'll give you a child—with your mother's help." Now, staring into his furious eyes, I said coldly, "Don't worry. There's no going back for us anymore." Chapter 1 A Child of My Own After returning from the hospital, I drifted through each day in a daze. A few days later, River came home from his "business trip." He had no idea that I already knew about his plan to use a surrogate and pretended as if everything was perfectly normal. But I had already made quiet plans of my own. What he didn't know was that the woman, once told she might never conceive, was now carrying his child. "Baby, you've been distracted all month. Are you still worried about not being able to get pregnant? I love you. As long as you're by my side, it doesn't matter if we never have children." His gentle voice filled my ears. I stared blankly at him, only to notice the book in his hands—The Pregnancy Guide. The memory of the hospital surged up all at once, and a bitter smile tugged at my lips. River must have noticed the change in my expression because he quickly tried to cover the book title. "It's for a distant relative—an aunt of mine. She's having a geriatric pregnancy, and her health is fragile. I thought I'd study up so I could be of some help." His excuse hit me like a knife, and my throat tightened as I rasped, "River, since when do you have some distant aunt pregnant at that age? And even if you did, why would you need to take care of her personally?" Before the words had even settled, my mother-in-law's voice cut in, sharp and mocking as she washed fruit at the sink. "What does it matter if she's a distant relative or not? A woman her age can still get pregnant, which is more than I can say for you. "Some women are just infertile, so of course they can't stand to see others lay eggs! If my son hadn't liked you so much, I would've told him to divorce you years ago. After so many years with no child, what use is a woman like you?" Her words rang in my ears, each one sharper than the last, until my gaze turned blank. I couldn't help but remember. When she had been hospitalized for her heart condition, short on money, I was the one who paid off every bill. I even invited an expert surgeon from abroad to perform her operation. During her recovery, I ran myself ragged, making sure every detail of her care was handled perfectly. And when River's first startup collapsed and left him buried in debt, I was the one who called in every favor my family connections could pull, bringing in sponsors and investors. That was how Grayson Inc. had grown into what it was today. Yet, after everything I had given, in her eyes, I was nothing but a barren woman. And to River, all my sacrifices seemed to mean nothing at all. Chapter 2 A Deal With the Devil "Joanne, Mom's not wrong. She's just an old woman who wants a grandchild. Try to understand." I looked straight at River. "And what if I can’t?" His expression darkened. "There's no news about a pregnancy from all these years. Isn’t it normal for her to be a little resentful when all she wants is a grandchild? I’ve never blamed you. I’ve even cared for you and treated you well. But if you insist on quarreling with my mother over this, don’t expect me to indulge you!" "River Grayson!" I lunged forward, snatched "The Pregnancy Guide" out of his hands, and hurled it hard against the floor. My eyes burned red as I glared at him and laid everything bare. "So, this is why you let Yvonne’s mother carry your child through IVF?" River froze, his dark eyes locking onto mine. "Since you already know, I won’t hide it. Years ago, Yvonne lost her uterus saving me. She’s a woman, Joanne. She wants to be a mother. It’s her only wish. And since you’re my wife, my debt to her is yours too. I hoped you could understand my decision." A bitter laugh escaped me, raw and uncontrollable, my pregnancy hormones twisting my emotions. "Understand what? Understand you fathering a child with your ex-girlfriend’s mother?" At that, my mother-in-law planted her hands on her hips and shrieked at me. "You barren hen, how dare you speak like that? It’s my son’s sperm—he can give it to whomever he pleases! You have no say in it!" River pressed his lips into a thin line, his eyes colder now. "It’s IVF. I never betrayed you. Yvonne saved my life. She wants to be a mother—why can’t I at least give her that?" The words caught in my throat. He pulled me into his arms, murmuring softly, "Don’t take it to heart. I’ll only ever love you. You couldn’t conceive before, so you don’t need to force yourself with medicine anymore. We can treat Yvonne’s child as our godson. My ties to the Sinclairs are nothing but repayment. There’s nothing else between us." I laughed bitterly at the false comfort in his eyes, then shut mine tight and shoved him away. "If repayment is your business, if giving someone else a child is your business, then everything is your business. What do you even need a wife for? Let’s get divorced." I didn’t look back as I walked away. After five years of marriage, I was finally pregnant—only to find out my husband wanted a child with his old flame's mother through IVF. A month ago, I thought I’d misheard. But now he admitted it, and worse, that the child had already been conceived. The absurdity of it all made me sick. Stepping outside, I spotted a familiar figure lingering at the gate. "Care to chat?" Yvonne stood there in a black camisole, her gaze dripping with mockery. It wasn’t a question—it was a declaration. I followed her into a restaurant near the house. "From the look on your face, I’d say you already know." She sipped her red wine like a victor flaunting her prize. "Don’t be angry with River over this. He only wants to give me a child to make up for what I lost. There’s nothing improper between us, not a single line crossed. I know what it’s like not to bear children, so I sympathize with you. Don’t worry—once the baby’s born, I’ll even make you my child's godmother." Chapter 3 The Child I Let Go I looked at her, the corners of my lips curling into a mocking smile. "Do you take me for that fool River? Do you think I can't see through your little schemes? Don't forget, we were once roommates in college. You hated kids back then. And now, all of a sudden, you're overflowing with maternal love?" Seeing that I had called her bluff, Yvonne dropped the pretense. "You're right, I do hate kids. But I don't hate River. I saved his life, and because of that, I lost the chance to ever be a mother. He'll owe me forever. Once the baby is born, do you really think he'll choose you over me?" Her words made me laugh outright. "Yvonne, if I remember correctly, your hysterectomy wasn't because you saved him—it was because of multiple miscarriages. You had no choice but to have that surgery, isn't that right?" She shot to her feet, her face full of shock. However, he quickly smoothed her expression and said evenly, "And who would believe you now? Do you have any proof? If you really had evidence, you would've shown it long ago. Why wait until today?" She fixed me with her steady gaze, but before I could respond, River rushed in, immediately pulling Yvonne behind him. He glared at me coldly. "I already explained everything to you at home. Why are you still harassing her?" Watching the man who claimed to love me throw himself in front of another woman, my last shred of hope crumbled to dust. Yvonne stood behind him, a smug smile playing at her lips. The baby inside me seemed to sense my emotions and stirred. I pressed a hand gently to my belly, fighting the urge to tear apart her mask of hypocrisy. "How exactly am I harassing her? We were just talking about her last hospital stay." River frowned in confusion. "Her last hospital stay?" Yvonne, who had been hiding behind him, suddenly let out a pitiful sob. "Joanne, I know you resent me. I can understand that you don't want River and my mother to have a child through IVF. But you don't need to keep insulting me for not having a uterus, or saying I don't deserve to be a woman!" River's expression darkened instantly. He turned his anger on me. "How could you say something like that? She lost her uterus saving my life! I owe her a debt for life—and so do you!" The sight of him desperately defending her crushed the last bit of strength in me. After a long silence, I said quietly, "River Grayson, you'd better hope you'll never regret this." With that, I picked up my bag, turned on my heel, and went straight to the hospital. That very day, I gave up our baby. … From the joy of discovering I was pregnant to the agony of losing my baby, barely more than a month had passed. But deep down, I knew I couldn't bring him into the world. A child who wasn't wanted never should have been born at all. Weak and drained after the procedure, I returned home only to find the house dark and empty. Just then, my long-silent phone lit up with a message from Yvonne. It was a video. In it, at the city's most luxurious maternity retreat, River hovered at Yvonne's mother's side, doting on her every need. His hands rested protectively against her slightly rounded belly, his face glowing with joy and anticipation. Chapter 4 The Last Gift Watching that video left me sick to my stomach and made me think how they could be so brazen. Still, I couldn't help but wonder—when the man who swore he loved me looked forward to another woman giving birth to his child, when he remembered the vows he had made to me, did he ever feel guilt? Or was he only thrilled, proud, and secretly satisfied? Late at night, I finally finished packing my bags. I had barely sat down to catch my breath when River rushed back home. The moment he saw me on the couch, guilt clouded his face. He strode over, wrapped me tightly in his arms, and held me as though that could erase everything. Seeing that I remained silent, he pressed his lips together and whispered, "Baby, believe me, this will be the last time. From now on, I'll stay by your side and never upset you again." I drew in a deep breath and slowly picked up the divorce papers I had prepared long ago. "River, let's get divorced." The tenderness drained from his face in an instant. He grabbed the papers and tore them to pieces without hesitation. "You think threatening me with divorce will make me give up Yvonne's child? You know I hate being threatened. You can't bear a progeny, and after walking away from me, what other man would stay loyal to you and never look down on you? Joanne, your threats won't work. That child will be born!" But by then, I no longer cared about him or Yvonne's baby. All I wanted was to escape this marriage that had destroyed me. "Think whatever you want. I'll say it again—I want a divorce." River shot me a cold glance before turning and walking away. I touched my pale face, lifted my suitcase, and left without looking back. Before I stepped out, I sent him a text. 'If you refuse to sign the divorce papers, I'll have my lawyer file for it directly. At the same time, I compiled Yvonne's secret about losing her uterus along with the proof of my abortion into an email and sent it to his phone. My final gift before the divorce. May we never meet again.' … On the way to the maternity retreat with Yvonne, River passed by a bridal shop. He stopped in front of a display, eyes drawn to the delicate white gown inside. "This wedding dress is beautiful. If only I could wear it one day," she said, clinging sweetly to his arm. "Sure," he replied absentmindedly. "Joanne would look stunning in it. I spoke too harshly just now and made her angry. I should pick up something she likes to eat and make it up to her." As he spoke, he reached for his phone, intending to ask me what I wanted. But Yvonne's smile faltered instantly, and she murmured in wounded tones, "It's all my fault… I shouldn't have insisted you give me a child." River frowned and answered solemnly, "None of this is your fault. You lost your ability to have children by saving me. I owe you a great deal. She's just too jealous, too immature." At that, he pulled out my chat with him—only to see the unread notification waiting on the screen.