I Won't Cry Over the Man Who Betrayed Me

“What are you doing here?” Milton came out of the kitchen carrying a dish. When he saw me, his brow furrowed. “Is this ever going to end? I don't even remember you now. What's the point of clinging on like this?” Maud scolded him gently. “Milton, be nicer.” I drew in a deep breath. I honestly didn't have the strength to sit through their amnesia act any longer. I held out the property-division agreement in my hand. “Milton, how much longer are you going to keep up this amnesia routine?” Milton went quiet. A long moment passed. He coaxed Maud softly back into the master bedroom, and when he spoke, his voice dropped very low. “So you already know?” He drew in a deep breath. “Vonnie, Maud has severe depression. She's relied on me her whole life. I'm only doing this to give her enough sense of security, so her condition doesn't get worse.” “And what about me?” I asked it offhandedly. I'd stopped expecting anything a long time ago. He was silent for a few seconds. “Don't overcomplicate it. It's just some outward favoritism. You know I care about Maud, but I care about you even more.” So it turned out that being abandoned over and over, watered by his lies, could also be called caring. Milton seemed to catch the shift in my mood. He rubbed the space between his brows, worn out. “Be good, stop making a fuss. Tomorrow I'll go with you and we'll register the marriage again.” The marriage certificate we'd failed to get three times. On the fourth try, it finally came out of his mouth in the tone of a handout. I closed my eyes and set the property-division agreement lightly on the table. “There's no need. Let's break up——” I'd barely started when Maud opened the door and came out. She clutched her head, as if her depression had broken loose into a full collapse. “Milton doesn't want me anymore. He's going to register a marriage with someone else. I'm just a burden. I deserve to die. I shouldn't be alive……” Still talking, she ran to the edge of the balcony to throw herself off. Milton hauled her back against his chest by the waist. “Maud, don't scare me.” In the middle of her struggling, Maud suddenly rushed at me. She grabbed a fistful of my hair and brought her hand down in a vicious slap. “It's you. You want to steal Milton away. You deserve to die, go die……” Slap after slap landed, and drained of strength, I dropped to the floor. Before I could get a word out, she suddenly crouched down clutching her head, whimpering and trembling. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry……” Milton held her tightly. His eyes turned to me, full of blame. “You knew Maud has depression. Why would you come back on purpose to provoke her?” Maud tilted her head and curled a taunting smile at me. I stared blankly at the two of them, my chest so choked I couldn't breathe. I forced myself upright, and a hand clamped down on my wrist. “Yvonne, apologize to Maud.” Apologize. As those two words fell, the last bit of warmth in my chest drained away too. I wrenched free of him and stumbled into the bedroom. I pulled out my suitcase and started packing. Outside the door came the sound of Maud crying, falling apart. “Milton, did I do something wrong?” “I didn't want to, but when the depression breaks out, I can't control myself.” Milton's voice went very soft. “It's okay. It's not your fault.” I slumped down to the floor, my fingertips curling in bit by bit. Halfway through packing, my phone rang. It was Mr. Finch from the news TV network. “Yvonne, someone put the video of your wedding online. The post has blown up, and someone's claiming you were the other woman. There's some negative talk out there right now. You need to watch it, or it could hurt your on-air time as an anchor.” I fought back the pain and apologized to him. After I hung up, I opened the post.

Down in the comments, Maud told the story of her childhood with Milton from a third party's point of view, hinting all the while that I was the one who'd forced my way in. The sympathy that had filled the thread turned on a dime. "People you pity always turn out to have earned it." "Pregnant before marriage. What kind of decent woman does that?" The world tilted. I curled in on myself, wrung dry. I lay on the floor for a long time before the dizziness finally dragged me under. When I came to, I was in a hospital. Milton sat at the bedside. When he saw me open my eyes, something faintly tender flickered in his. "Why didn't you tell me you felt sick? Thank God Maud found you in time." He reached over and touched my forehead, letting out a breath. "The fever's finally broken." I turned my gaze away, calm, an exhaustion in me I couldn't put into words. Outside the window it was already pitch black. When I reached for my phone, Milton went stiff. He wore the look of a man with something to say and no way to say it. A few seconds passed before he handed it over. An uneasy feeling rose in me from nowhere. I lit up the screen. The notifications had exploded. My name was sitting there on the trending list, all by itself. News Anchor Yvonne Had a High School Abortion. Three hours ago, Maud, calling herself my high school classmate, had posted again under the wedding thread, claiming I'd seduced a married male teacher back in high school and done filthy things with him right there in the classroom. Below it she'd posted a class graduation photo, and a picture of the male teacher taking me to an OB-GYN. Tears fell before I even knew they were coming. I looked up, at Milton. "What do you two get out of destroying me?" "This has nothing to do with Maud." Milton's voice was flat and final. "She doesn't know your high school classmates, and there's no way she'd have photos like that." "Most likely you offended someone, and they made up a rumor. Or maybe it was true all along—" He stopped, and didn't finish. A violent, stinging burn shot up through my nose. I lifted my head, unable to believe it. "You think it's true?" Milton looked away from me. "True or not, it's in the past, Vonnie. It's not like I'd break up with you over something like this." My chest ached, tight and heavy. Just then, Mr. Finch from the station called again. "Yvonne, you know how it is—there are lines you can't cross in our line of work. For now, take care of your personal matters. I'm going to have someone fill in for your slot for the time being." The phone slid dumbly from my ear. I stared at the ceiling for a long while, then rasped out, "Milton. Let's break up. This is where it ends." Milton pinched the bridge of his nose, his voice worn thin. "Yvonne, stop making a scene." "I know you're upset, but you're not really going to throw me away. We've been together seven years. You're carrying my child." Seven years of love. My child. In the end they'd become nothing but the bargaining chips he was so sure would keep me from leaving. My heart felt scooped hollow, and yet, somehow, it didn't hurt as much anymore. That was when Maud called. Milton glanced at me, then stepped out to take it. When he came back in, all he did was leave me with instructions. "Vonnie, Maud has depression. I'm going back to be with her first. Get some rest. Grown-ups have to learn to take care of themselves." I watched his back as he left, and found that even disappointment felt like too much effort. The nurse came in and ran into Milton at the door. "Are you Ms. Yvonne's family? She had a labor induction this morning—" She never finished. Milton was already walking off, not slowing his stride, only saying, "I've got things to do." The nurse looked over at me, sympathy in her eyes. "Ms. Yvonne, you had the induction procedure this morning. Make sure you rest well these next few days, and try not to let your emotions swing too much." I closed my eyes, and nodded. I stayed in the hospital until the following afternoon, then went back to the wedding house to pack my things.

When I stepped inside, the living room was empty. Only a bunch of roses sat on the coffee table, and beside them, two marriage certificates that stabbed at my eyes. It felt like a knife driving into my heart, over and over. I stood frozen in the doorway for a moment before I made myself walk in. I picked them up. There, in plain black and white, were the names Milton and Maud. The registration date was this morning. A ridiculous little laugh escaped me. The man who, just yesterday, had suggested we go register our own marriage. And now, without a flicker of feeling, he had registered a marriage with another woman. Milton had ground my dignity into the dust. He heard the noise and came out of the bedroom, then went rigid the second he saw me. "Vonnie, why are you back?" His eyes dropped, landing on the certificates in my hand, and he stayed silent a long time before he began to confess. "Maud's pregnant. That night, on our anniversary last month, you and I fought and you left first. Maud came to find me, and we both drank too much." "This morning she started gagging out of nowhere. We went to the hospital and found out." "Yvonne, she's not as strong as you. And I can't let the child be born a bastard, so I went and registered this morning." An enormous absurdity closed over me, and it was a long moment before I could force the words out. "So my child, that one can be a bastard?" Milton seemed to catch the edge in my voice. He sighed. "Once the child is born, we'll transfer it under Maud's name. Then it won't count as a bastard." "Yvonne, even if Maud and I have registered, you're still the one I love. Nothing between us has to change. You've always been sensible. You'll understand." Seven years together, and in the end, Milton could wound me without the slightest fear of consequence. I tugged at the corner of my mouth and asked him, absurdly. "Nothing has to change, meaning you want me to be your dirty little secret, your mistress?" Milton went quiet again. After a while, he spoke, his voice hoarse. "Your mother was the other woman once. This shouldn't be that hard for you to accept." I froze on the spot, my whole body starting to tremble. My mother had been tricked into a marriage and made into the other woman. That was the wound of her entire life. And the childhood I would spend my whole life trying to heal. I had never imagined that scar would be torn open by the man I'd loved for seven years, in a tone so utterly careless. I raised my hand and slapped Milton across the face. Maud heard the commotion and came out of the bedroom. The sight of it sent her into a sudden frenzy. She slapped me hard across the face. Then she lunged, clawing at me, screaming for me to apologize. My body kept slamming into the corner of the shoe cabinet, and white light burst behind my eyes. Right after, a warm liquid slid down the inside of my thigh. The color drained from my face, bit by bit. But Milton didn't notice a single thing wrong with me. He gathered the hysterical Maud into his arms, frantic. When he looked at me, his eyes were full of weary reproach. "Yvonne, you know Maud has depression. Why would you provoke her?" In that instant, all that was left inside me was dead silence. My only thought was that everything tied to Milton, I wanted none of it. The room spun. I forced myself to turn and walk away. Blood spread across the floor behind me, and I collapsed, wrung out, onto the ground. Before I blacked out completely, I used the last of my strength to dial 911. When I woke again in the hospital, I turned my head weakly, a ventilator over my face. My mother looked at me, wiping away tears that wouldn't stop. I gave her a rough, watered-down version of what had happened between me and Milton. She was frantic with grief, nearly rising to her feet to go settle the score with Milton.

I shook my head and pulled her back. I thought she wouldn't do anything rash, but after she left at noon, she still went to find Milton. I waited for her, sick with dread the whole time. It wasn't until seven that evening that I got a call from the hospital. “Ms. Yvonne, your mother was in a car accident. She's in the ICU right now, and we're doing everything we can. Please come as soon as possible to sign the critical-condition notice.” The phone slipped from my hand and hit the floor. I leaned against the wall and slowly sank down. I forced myself to the ICU, signed the notice, then called Milton. He didn't ask what had happened. After a long silence, he only said he'd be there in half an hour. I sat on the bench, frantic, waiting a long time. When I saw Milton, everything in me broke, and I wanted to lean on him without thinking. But his first words pinned me to the spot. “Yvonne, sign the accident settlement release.” My voice trembled. “What did you say?” “Your mother wouldn't let it go all afternoon. Maud's depression flared up, she got worked up, that's the only reason she drove into her. Sign it first, and we'll figure out the rest together.” The pain in my heart tore me open. I clutched my head and sobbed until I nearly came apart. Just then Maud rushed over, eyes red, and threw herself into Milton's arms. “Milton, I was so scared just now……” My body wouldn't stop shaking. One door away, my mother hung between life and death. Out here in the hallway, the two of them had their little romance. I braced myself against the wall and slid slowly to the floor. Milton turned back and held out the accident settlement release. “Vonnie, be good. Sign it first.” I was about to speak when a nurse ran out holding a fresh critical-condition notice. “Is Yvonne here, the family? The patient's heart rate has dropped sharply. We need a signature on the second critical-condition notice.” I forced myself up, took the pen, my hand shaking hard. Once I'd signed, I couldn't hold on any longer. My vision went black, and I passed out completely. When I came to, I yanked the IV out of my hand and ran like a madwoman to the ICU doors. But the ICU lights were off. The nurse sighed. “We couldn't save the patient. She passed two hours ago.” I stood in the hallway, lost, my mother's aching words from that morning echoing in my ears. I closed my eyes, and I could almost feel her right beside me. But when I opened them, there was only me in the empty hallway. The tears finally fell. I ran, shaking, to the morgue cold storage, desperate to see the one person who loved me most. But when I got there, the clerk checked the records and told me the body had already been claimed. I froze where I stood. Just then Milton called and told me to come back. He said, “Vonnie, come back and sign the accident settlement release.” It felt like hot oil poured over my heart. I opened my mouth, and it took me a long moment to find my voice. “Milton, my mother is gone.” He was silent for a few seconds. “I know.” He knew, and still he wanted me to forgive the one who got my mother killed. In that instant, all my grief felt like a joke. I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes and told him, word by word, “I won't sign.” The moment I said it, Milton spoke again. “Your mother's body is here with me.” “Vonnie, if you still want to see her one last time, be good and sign.” My head snapped up. My hand shook so badly I could barely hold the phone. “Milton, that's my mother. She's the only family I have.” He drew a deep breath. “I know, but I can't just abandon Maud.” “Vonnie, I don't want to hurt you. Don't push me.” The man who once said he'd protect me forever. In the end, it was his own hand that drove me to the edge, with nowhere left to go. My sobbing rang through the hallway, hopeless. Milton's tone didn't waver in the slightest. “I'll give you three minutes to think it over.” “If you haven't signed in three minutes, I'll have them wheel your mother in for cremation.” He used my deepest wound as his bargaining chip. Not caring in the least whether it would destroy me. The minutes ticked by, and in the video Milton sent, my mother's body had already been wheeled up to the cremation furnace. “Ten seconds left.” I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek, until I tasted blood in my mouth. “Milton, stop.” “I'll sign.” Milton sent the electronic accident settlement release he already had ready. “Sign it.” Tears fell onto the phone, one after another. With a shaking hand, I signed my name. Milton finally let out a breath. “Vonnie, I know you're hurting. Once this is behind us, I'll make it up to you with a wedding, and from now on——” I cut him off. “Milton, there is no from now on for us.” “I will never forgive you. Not in this life, not in the next, not through all eternity.”