Iceberg Husband’s Inner Voice

1 When I opened my eyes in the morning, I suddenly realized I could hear my cold, stoic husband's inner thoughts. At breakfast, I habitually sat on the far side of the dining table. A second later, a tearful, utterly aggrieved voice whined inside my head. [Boohoo, my wife is sitting so far away from me again. Distance only breeds longing and heartbreak...] My hand froze over my spoon. I looked up. Gary sat opposite me, his handsome face composed as he calmly ate his toast. At bedtime, I kept a safe distance and pulled the covers over my side of the mattress. [I specifically changed into a brand new silk pajama set today. Why hasn't she glanced at me even once? I want to cry...] I turned my head slightly. Gary was leaning against the headboard, his collar casually unbuttoned just enough to show a hint of collarbone. The book in his hands hadn't been flipped by a single page for ten straight minutes. A few days later, my best friend invited me out for dinner. It was a rare occasion for me to dress up, spending two full hours getting ready before stepping toward the front door. By the foyer, Gary stood leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest, his expression impassive. In the very next instant, a dramatic, weeping voice exploded in my ears: [You're completely ruined, Gary! Your wife looks like she's going out to fall in love!] … [Gary, you useless idiot! Your wife is going to run away!] [I guess I'm simply not worthy after all. I guard this empty marriage, guarding a cold, hollow bed, unable to hold onto a single trace of her gentleness.] My hand holding my purse stiffened. I turned around to look at him. Was that tragic drama queen inside my head really Gary? [Sophie looks so breathtakingly beautiful today, but too bad she isn't going out with me.] I intentionally slowed down my movements, leaning over casually to put on my heels while keeping an eye on the man beside me. He maintained his cold pose, leaning against the frame with a detached look in his eyes. After a long pause, he said indifferently, "Come back early. Stay safe." Immediately, that whimpering inner voice flared up again. [Look at that, she won't even say a word to me anymore.] [It's so hard to get a day off, but my wife is going out without me. My heart hurts so much.] I looked at his poker face, which remained as still as a stone carving, then thought about the dramatic inner voice inside his head. A wave of laughter bubbled up in my chest. I pretended not to notice a thing, turning around to walk out the door. The moment I turned my back, I felt the man's body stiffen beside me. [Wait, you're just leaving directly?! Is Sophie mad at me?!] [Oh no, oh no, Gary, you blew it again!] I bit my lip to suppress a laugh, forcing a serious face as I stepped out into the hallway. Behind me came his desperate inner crying. [Sophie, boohoo...] When I reached the restaurant, my friend Hannah was already waiting at a corner table, waving at me excitedly. "Sophie, over here!" I walked over and sat down. "Sophie, the baked ice cream toast here is incredible, you have to try it!" "Sure, let me try a bite!" We chatted straight through until late afternoon, when the sky outside suddenly darkened. Heavy drops of rain began slamming against the glass window, turning into a torrential downpour within minutes. I pressed my face against the window, my eyebrows pulling together in a tight frown. It was bright and sunny when I left home, so I hadn't brought an umbrella with me. Hannah patted my shoulder, her tone dripping with pride. "Don't worry about it. My guy Tyler is picking me up, so we can drop you off on the way." Just as she finished her sentence, a young man in a crisp white shirt ran in under a black umbrella, holding two spare ones in his hands. It was Tyler, Hannah's new boyfriend. Tyler handed an umbrella to Hannah and offered a friendly smile toward me. "Sophie, the rain is pretty heavy out there. Let me give you a ride home first." Before I could thank him, a sleek black Bentley glided smoothly to the curb right in front of the restaurant entrance. The tinted window rolled down slowly. Gary sat in the driver's seat, turning his head to look at me through the rain. "Get in. It's on the way." In the very next second, his dripping-sour inner thoughts barged straight into my ears. [I suppose I arrived at a bad time, just when another guy was trying to play hero and drive my wife home.] [Thank goodness I waited outside for three whole hours, otherwise my wife would be riding in another man's car right now.] Listening to his pitiful, jealous inner voice, the corners of my mouth twitched upward uncontrollably. Hannah blinked in surprise, quickly catching on. "Oh, it's Gary! What a coincidence! Go on, let your husband take you home!" Tyler also smiled politely. "Nice to see you, sir." Gary didn't say much, merely giving a brief nod. His eyes, however, remained glued to me from start to finish. After saying goodbye to Hannah and Tyler, I opened the passenger door and slid into the car. 2 The moment the car door closed, the chaotic sound of the pouring rain was shut out. The air conditioning inside was set a bit too low, sending a sudden chill over my skin as soon as I sat down. Gary started the engine, keeping his eyes fixed on the road ahead in complete silence. Yet his inner voice chattered non-stop right beside my ears. [Is the temperature too cold? Sophie is wearing a short skirt today with her calves exposed, she must be freezing.] [Should I raise the air conditioning by two degrees? It would be terrible if she caught a cold.] [But will she think I'm being overbearing and bossy? Argh, I'm so torn!] I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. Gary's eyebrows were slightly knitted, looking completely focused on driving. I feigned a sudden shiver from the cold. Gary's right hand shot out with lightning speed, instantly bumping the climate control up by two degrees. The second he pressed the button, he snapped his hand back to the steering wheel, looking straight ahead as if nothing had happened at all. "There's a jacket in the back seat. Cover your legs if you feel cold." [I must have looked so cool just now, especially from this side angle.] [Was Sophie charmed by me?] I squeezed my eyes shut to hide my laughter, pulling the jacket over my lap. Turns out he wasn't just a dramatic crybaby; he was a narcissist, too. The car moved smoothly along the wet asphalt, the cabin quiet except for the steady rhythm of the windshield wipers. Gary managed to hold out for ten full minutes without me initiating a conversation, but the jealousy brewing in his chest finally overturned. [Who was that guy back there anyway?! It makes me so mad!] [Hmph! She was smiling so brightly at him earlier! If I knew he was coming, I wouldn't have come at all!] [Deep down I know I'm not as fun as those younger guys. In the end, my wife just doesn't care about me. I'm so sad.] Listening to his dramatic inner thoughts, I couldn't hold it in any longer and let out a soft snort of laughter. Gary's hands froze on the leather steering wheel. He glanced at me sideways, a hint of panic flashing across his dark eyes. "What's funny?" His tone remained chilly, but I could hear his heart pounding like a drum inside his mind. [Why is she laughing? Does she think I'm weird?] [I knew it, I shouldn't have worn this outfit today! Or is it these glasses?] I reined in my smile, turning to look at him while dragging out my words playfully. "Oh, nothing." Seeing the subtle blush creeping up his ears, my mood brightened immensely. "That guy back there was just Hannah's new boyfriend. He off work and came to pick her up." The moment the words left my mouth, I felt Gary's eyes light up. His grip on the wheel visibly loosened. [I knew my wife wouldn't like a pretty boy like that!] [She actually took the initiative to explain it to me! She really cares about me!] "I see," Gary replied coldly, though a trace of uncontainable lightness slipped into his tone. The car soon pulled into our apartment complex. It was still raining heavily. After parking, Gary pushed his door open first, opening a large black umbrella as he hurried around to the passenger side. He opened my door, angling the umbrella entirely over my head. Half of his own shoulder was left exposed to the pouring rain, quickly getting drenched by the cold water. He averted his gaze stoically. "Hurry inside. Don't get wet." 3 The next afternoon, I went out to pick a gift for Hannah to celebrate her new relationship. She had just made things official with Tyler last week and insisted I buy her a memorable gift to mark the occasion. After browsing through three boutique jewelry stores, I finally settled on a pair of silver couple's bracelets engraved with their initials. While checking out, a pair of blue diamond cufflinks in the corner of the display case caught my eye. Small, scattered diamonds were set to mimic tiny ocean waves. It reminded me of how Gary had tilted the umbrella entirely toward me yesterday, standing firm and cold even while getting half his shoulder soaked. Impulsively, I pointed at the cufflinks. "Please wrap these up for me as well." When I arrived home holding two gift boxes, the warm light in the living room was already on. Gary was sitting on the sofa with a remote in his hand, a financial news channel playing on the television. Hearing the front door click, he looked up and swept a cool glance over me. "You're back." In the very next second: [Sophie is finally home! I specifically switched to silver-framed glasses today, did she notice? Did she see them?] [My assistant said these glasses make me look younger. Sophie should like them, right?!] Following his inner prompt, I took a closer look at him. He had indeed swapped his usual dark frames for thin, silver wire-rimmed glasses, which gave him an air of quiet, refined sophistication. The corners of my lips curved upward into a genuine smile. "The new glasses look really nice on you. They suit you well." The corner of Gary's mouth flicked up for a fraction of a second, so fast it seemed like an illusion. He cleared his throat, fixing his eyes on the TV screen while the tips of his ears turned a faint shade of pink. "Just bought them on a whim." [Sophie praised me! Buying these glasses was so worth it! I'm giving my assistant a raise when I get back!] [Can I use this opportunity to chat with her for a bit now? What should I say?] I didn't give him time to overthink. After changing my shoes, I walked over to the sofa and held out one of the gift boxes to him. "I got this for you." Gary whipped his head around to stare at me, his eyes wide. He hesitated for a moment before hesitantly reaching out to take the box. "For me?" I nodded. "Yeah. I saw it while shopping and thought it would look great on you." [Sophie bought me a gift! This is the first time she's ever bought me a gift! I'm so happy!] [I'm wearing this tomorrow! I'm wearing it every single day!] Just then, his gaze drifted toward the second gift box sitting inside my shopping bag. I chuckled inwardly, pretending not to notice his stare. "Is it a matching couple's set?" he asked carefully. "No, it's for someone else." Instantly, his sour inner thoughts flooded my mind like a barrage of angry comments. [Was this bought exclusively for me, or does every other younger guy out there get one too?] [All my happiness from a second ago was a lie. I am profoundly sad now.] I raised an eyebrow, looking at his stoic face. "I have to go out again tomorrow, by the way." Gary didn't say another word. He stood up, picked up his gift, and turned straight toward his study. "I still have work to finish. Go to sleep first." The study door closed softly behind him, yet it carried an undeniable wave of petty resentment. I sat on the sofa, my shoulders shaking as I held back my laughter. The light in the study remained on until midnight. Just as I was drifting off to sleep in the bedroom, the door clicked open softly. I pretended to be fast asleep. He lifted a corner of the duvet with extreme care, slowly slipping into bed beside me. In the dark, his quiet inner voice began mumbling all over again. [Sophie definitely likes me, otherwise she wouldn't have bought me a gift.] [Tomorrow I absolutely must find out who that other box was for.] Listening to his quiet, obsessive rambling, I gradually drifted into a peaceful dream.